Is everything illusions?

for the first time in my life.. i felt like i was treated like cheap dirt.. like some sort of plague that everyone is avoiding.. i dunno why am i suffering from all these you know? some people i know.. even if they are the most hated and unliked ones in the gang, they still have a bunch of pals that are with them, never left out. am i so bad to that extent that i cant even be compared to them? i dun even have anyone whom i can confide in! today is the last day of school for this samester.. and its also the first time i went home alone.. not even having any friends with me to the mrt.. so not me rite? i cant believe it either. but that is a moment when i tell myself: why b so cheap? but.. pls, is this all i deserve? living alone in this cruel world.. bearing the stares of others.. all by myself.. if thats the case.. why let me live in the first place? i am lost in this life... everything thats happening is tearing my heart apart..