Of dust and heat.

yea.. back to camp for two days. think i have been to used to civilian life. missing my naps and late mornings man!

the uniform is making me feel so warm, the dust in guardroom makes me sneeze non stop, all the mundane stuff making me so sianz at all times..

35days of civilian life! i almost thought i ord-ed!

back to reality.

Rifle, buddy, me.

was talking to Alan and the conversation sort of ended with this line..

brought back lots of memories of b/m/t! he used to be one of the "lead singer" of the platoon and the timer as well.. and this is one of the favorite song we will always sing!

i'm glad that this few of us are still keeping contact.. even though its just through msn or facebook..

Events - outings.

quite eventful these few days! met up with Eugene on Thurs- he's on half day so i went over to raffles city to meet him for lunch and chill. I wanna say thanks bro for spending the whole afternoon with me and listen to my rants of my miserable life. it really helped alot. =D

coincidentally, agnes and gang was also at raffles city for lunch! haha. chatted with them for a while while waiting for eugene.. and so i arranged lunch with agnes the next day! haha.. certainly misses those working days with them.. unlike now where i feel so wasted and my brain cells all wasting away.

yesterday was at sofian's for hari raya! first time joining them as i didnt go for last year's. the food is great and so is the company! love the fried potatoes loads. hohoh. jielun finally turned up after so long. haha. headed to town for some walk walk afterwards with jielun and junwei.

L to R:Junwei, Leon, Han, Chin, Sofian, Jielun, JB, Me.

Saved.

i nearly thought i will die last night. thanks herry for talking to me on the phone, keeping me calm. that few moments really saved me, even though there were times the both of us only kept quiet..

Swatch.

I freaking like this watch!! tried it already.. nice.. but its too ex.. =(

FED UP.

I is freaking fed up! that brainless freak. you think you just want to go ahead and plan things your way? by all means please go ahead. its not me who is going to suffer. its your people! i have done my due part by informing you wayyy before time.

Its out.

The report is out. I would say it is rather f-up la. Sounding like you guys have no fault at all huh s/a/f?

Actually, i aren't even waiting for it, cos i know that they are going to come out with this kind of report. One that seems rather like them shrieking responsibilities.

I dunno what to say la.. Those that has been in service before would know what the actual system is like.. Who really cared about us unless ourselves? Talk about "care for soldiers"...

Causes of death 2 NSmen who died during training revealed
By Margaret Perry, Channel NewsAsia | Posted: 22 October 2008 0043 hrs


SINGAPORE: The causes of death of two servicemen who died during training in June this year were revealed in Parliament on Tuesday.

Second Lieutenant Clifton Lam Jia Hao collapsed and died during a jungle training exercise in Brunei.

An inquiry found he died from heatstroke.

Defence Minister Teo Chee Hean told the House that Second Lieutenant Lam was given four litres of water and purification tablets.

But the Board established that he may not have hydrated himself adequately during the training exercise.

Mr Teo said neither case could have been detected through medical screening and no safety breach, foul play or negligence were found on the part of personnel.

The Defence Minister said despite the best efforts to reduce risks in training, it is not possible to guarantee no deaths or injuries.

He said: "Nevertheless, I can assure this House that the SAF will continue to do its best to look after our servicemen and servicewomen in terms of medical screening, proper training systems, training safety procedures, and medical coverage during training activities. They are after all our sons and our daughters and every life is precious to us." - CNA/vm

you're selfish. you're damn selfish. i will hate you forever in this aspect.

who are you to say i am the selfish one when you are actually the one?

To eugene.

i dunno.. was wondering what will happen if gene did not prompt me on msn yesterday to talk to me.. i had been looking at hp but dunno who i can call to just talk to.. to rant out the things in me..

thanks to him alot.. really bro..

on the non stop disputes.

in hokkien we call it 相欠债。

你不知道。

倘若说放一次手 就像咳一个嗽
我又何苦在乎得不到的温柔

quoted: 折翼天使

有些东西失去了就失去了，找不回来了，就算找回来了也没啥意义。

Deja Vu.

Grandaunt passed away this morning.

It came as quite a shock for all of us.. Gu Gu and cousin just went to visit her at the home last sunday and said that she look quite good. Had put on some weight too.

Haven't seen her for a few years. She has dementia so she can't recognize us too. The last time we went to her house before she was at the home, she wouldn't let anyone into her room.

2008 is not a good year, i think. aunt's cancer had a relapse and things are not doing good for her. I hope she recovers soon.

I ain't.

no, i'm not running away from probs when they arises. i am not a weakling that only knows how to run away. i am not childish.

i am just letting of some steam on this holy ground.

i just need an outlet. and since no one is listening, this is the best place. =)

its not that home is not the warmest place anymore, i would just say- 家家有本难念的经。

I'm only human.

and she forgets- I aren't saint.

Plunging to the lowest point.

i am feeling damn fucked. i am being flared at for no reason, things that aren't even my fault.

is being 21 too old to run away from home? if its not, I'm going to do it right now.

MC day 18.

i pre-ordered jay's new album yesterday! woohoo-! nearly missed it. luckily jielun reminded me. anw, he's on att c too. eye infection. and also chunlin, who will be on att c till the 12th. oh no!!! everyone get well soon ook!!!

the rp peeps came over last night. havent seen them for like so long.. so its nice to see them again. ha! thanks guys! no pics. i dunno y. maybe we are too used to having no image capturing devices. lol..

MC day 17.

if you can't do what you expects me to do, then don't fucking want me to do it. you're pissing me off very much.

MC day 15.

staying home for so long kind of made me lost track of the days passing by. now i cant really remember which day it is of the week that i am on.. have to check hand phone to make sure.. haha.. is that a good sign? '~'

anw, i realised my face is in much better condition. just a 15 days absence from camp- can you imagine how filthy that place is? those pillows that i am sleeping on.. =X

oh yea, rena, dise and jerry came over yesterday. good hearty chat. and makan session at hawker downstairs. its been so long since we all sat down and have a proper chat! haha.. =) from the chat i also got to know that jerry is actually csm at raven coy! haha.. didn't know he's also a regular.. and of cos, the gossips of those people who used to be so around us.. lol..

in the dumps.

一直在想啊，一个人到底要多长时间才能走出低潮期呢？

为什么我花了那么长的时间却还是困在其中？
不解。

Open book.

I think I am too much of a "open book" to everyone.. my face speaks too much of what I am thinking..

MC day 11.

freak. another ns man passed away during training. why is there so many of such cases this year? i cant help but feel alot. maybe its cos i am also in service.. maybe its becos...

*****

oh yea while i am napping this afternoon, my hp rang a few times with a few smses for me.

hey promoted liao. no more private. now lcp!

surprised. not sure of what happened, so i smsed back to ask. appearantly we are promoted due to so called "good performance", no more private till ord due to failing ippt! haha. but well, i still hope to pass it at least once before i ord.. =)

The past.

i would sometimes long to see you all on the streets that i am walking,
but yet afraid or lost if i would bump into you.

i tried to think if everything was caused by me.
but im sorry. i guess it is not totally my fault.

i hope everything would go back to normal soon.
but i also have less expectation.
and even if we talk again,
im sorry, things would not be the same again...

MC day 10.

my feed reader seems to be fixed. i hope. haha. read the last few posts of blinkymummy and saw that she revealed the face of her partner - mr "good fren"! haha. his debut appearance with full face. some of the readers so cute, commented that good fren finally has eyes! cos she always mosaic his eyes to protect identity. lol..

anw, i went to remove the stitches yesterday. paid $0 woohoo-! serving ns is not that bad afterall. haha. michelle and vic came over and pei me mahjong last night too.. second time coming over since the op and also volunteered to pei me. iam so touched. =D

*****

dickson's first book out over the weekend! after the two weeks confinement.. haha.. makes me thought of my own one just one year ago.. fond memories.. LOL!

*****

mum made some dumplings. yummy!