For myself.

for once. I want to.

yes, i have NEVER lived for myself, almost this whole life, before.


i lived for my family, doing my part as the son, the brother, the grandson, as the good ole ah liang.
i lived for the girl i loved, only to find out that she does not love me after all.
i lived for my friends, only to find them betraying me and leaving me for someone else that they have met.
i never get to study what i really wanted, cos everyone wanted me to study business.

actually, sometimes, i do think that its a vicious cycle. had i insisted on the course that i really wanted to study, i wud not have gotten into what i did.. less meeting those people and causing so much misery..

i cant choose, my family, my life, the people i meet. but i think i should learn how to at least live a life for myself, right?

this post is not to grumble about life and sorts. i dont. no one should. cos i do think that everything is a challenge for us.. just that i used to think that it is so much a burden, now i 释怀 le..

释怀是什么样的感受？或许就是提起过去种种的痛之后，还能微笑说，我走过了。不再有恨与哀怨，只是淡然。为何我们都忘了，一直强迫自己遗忘、忘记，却忘了百般的逃避后，我们终究还是要面对现实中的这一切？　

i just want to put a proper end.. so that i can embark on that new journey to the real me..

Good bods.

on a late night chat with royce.. i think we all became a little hysteria when its late and we are not sleeping !!! haa!!

no more buffets!

Freak. D cohesion dinner we had last wk at the zhen fa seafood made me put on 2 kg! Arrgghh! My jogging nights arent doing any help!! >,<

a (losing) battle.

im fighting a losing battle against life. how long more can i hang on? i dunno.. but i'll try my best..

quotes: ChUa's blog comments.

friends come and go.. true friends always put in effort to keep in touch.. then again, i takes 2 hands to clap.. if we do no put inan equal amount of effort to making something work, it never will.. eventually when we lose it, think, who is it that will regret? it might be time to think about those that you’re neglected, who had always been putting in effort, have you done the same to them to? What if one day you find them missing? would you regret not having cherish them?

一个人“赏花”。

又是一个人去“赏花”.. 难得有这样的机会。。但其实也并不闷，因为在那里遇到了志维！哈！今天的烟火比上星期的更加精彩！

From Tangenghui

看着黑骑士的飞行表演，让我想起了一个人。。一个也喜欢飞翔的感觉的人。。希望他在天上也能快乐的驾驶着他的飞机，自由翱翔。

NE Show 2008

met up with mabel for the once a year event- NDP! was kind of worried as it was raining quite heavily when i am booking out of camp in the morning, thinking its going to be shits if the rain continues till evening. but wells, lucks with us as usual and the weather is great by the time we met at 4!

kind of like this location for ndp too.. the skyline matches greatly with the stage and the fireworks.. think its going to be even better a few years later when more building that is being built now is done!


When we were making our way to our green sector seats, suddenly a Malay man stopped us and asked if we were a couple!? We shook our head and answered very quickly No, thinking that he was trying to interview us or to get us to play some games.

Actually he was asking whether only the two of us were watching the parade coz he had 2 yellow sector tix and 2 green sector tix and he would like to swop tix with us. Haha!!! What a misunderstanding! It reminds me of last year, when Mr Ang and Mrs Mo thought that Mabel, Boon, Sally and I were dating couples, haha!.

Anyway, we were very lucky, the yellow sector is right infront of the main stage! We got a very good view of everything from where we were seated.

We also get a great view of the combined choir, finally back after a one year hiatus! Kept feeling something is missing in its hiatus. haha. and the photos montage shown on the screen in one of the segment is great! the color, the angle, thought both of us thought is kinda propagandaish. haha!


This year, the best segment is the aerial display by the Black Knights! The moves they made were graceful and the stunts heart-stopping! So dangerous! Held our breaths real hard at some parts!

And we caught sight of Zoe and her son, Braydon! They must be there to watch her husband's performance, he is one of the pilots. Zoe is very pretty and her son is so cute! Totally not auntish lor. I will continue to support her. Haha!


Erm.. Fireworks is my fav as usual.. i can't explain it. the special meaning that it holds for me, that i will only be the one who knows it. =(


This time one is not that fanciful.. maybe its cos that its the first NE show.. Hope that it'll be better in the weeks to come and the finale will be a great one!! But no doubt, it still made a climax for the evening!

National Day has kind of not as "re nao" as last time liao.. the kind of publicity it has and such.. i remembered when i was younger, the tv and radio will start to air all the songs and videos for national day! this yr, the theme song is not even out and this is the first time i am listening to it. hai..

But still... Looking forward to the more coming weeks of fireworks! Woohoo!

now playing: 蔡健雅 - 当你离开的时候

我只能低着头发呆
让回忆渗透脑袋
渐渐变空白

我把它当作个意外
但内心还想不开
以为我明白其实你都还在
我想起了遇见你的时候
想起你眼中的温柔
想起了我们第一次牵手我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖
似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有
当你离开的时候

我可以装作已释怀
他对我也算关怀
他看不出来

我知道这样不应该
在他身上找依赖
算不算是种出卖因为你一直在
我想起了遇见你的时候
想起你眼中的温柔
想起了我们第一次牵手我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖
似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有
当你离开的时候

我想起你亲吻我的时候
想起你眼神中的沉默
想起了我们平静的分手我闭上眼
想起当时你每一个承诺
把你整个心都交给我
然而到后来我什么都没有
越是没有你越是心痛
我想起了遇见你的时候
想起你眼中的温柔
想起了我们第一次牵手我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖
似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有
当你离开的时候

旁观者。

Clift's departure made me realised alot of things.. things in life..

and so, i decided to ask Jx and Hao out for their birthday. din manage to make it to Hao's bdae cos of duty.. so met up with them for dinner and sorts just to catch up.. Qq came too! thanks for joining..

sometimes.. i think what Ka says is true. i can still talk to them.. i can still go out with them.. despite M* organising all the parties and i cant join as she hates me.. i have taken my initiatives and i will continue to do so.. and i hope this time round it will work out..

even thou i am sometimes just a onlooker..

***

its nice meeting up. havent meet Hao since enlistment! erm, ok, i saw him at tekong medical center once. haha! and Qq is more fit liao! our diver. haha.

im glad that everyone is doing well. =)

Goodbye.

went to send off clifton today. the last goodbye.

it was a emotional moment, and we all cried.

he's at a better place now. =)

家豪，一路走好。

而我已经分不清。

岁月无情，人事已非，
我们已好似擦肩而过的陌路人。

改变? · 疏远?

change. by mothyyku

原来人真的会变
只是所需的时间是长还是短而已

曾经对某些事很执着
随后也会淡然处之

曾经对某些物很重视
随后也会搁置一旁

曾经对某些人很在乎
随后也会形同陌路

珍惜当下
因为 人 真的会变

quoted dasmond koh

a silent scream.

Basketball sunday by ~Youth-Defenestration

walked past the basketball court today while going home.. actually, everyday, when i walk home from the bus stop, i will pass this court. i like to stay there a while to watch the kinds play bball everytime. today, i saw a few boys playing bball there.. nice school life.

then i realise, i never even had close guy friend. i will never get to have this kinda of life, this kind of friendship, i guess.

什么都不.

shouldn't have called him yesterday.

just to feel that our conversations are so distant. like we were just mere acquaintances..


and i was left out again. for a gathering.

no newspaper.

I'm giving the papers a miss for these two days.. life's already a sucky bastard and the news on the disasters are too much heart wrenching for me to read. accidentally saw today's shinmin report on the kids under the rubbles.

上天保佑他们.

now playing: 苏芮 - 是否

是否这次我将真的离开你
是否这次我将不再哭
是否这次我将一去不回头
走向那条漫漫永无止境的路
是否这次我已真的离开你
是否泪水已干不再流
是否应验了我曾说的那句话
情到深处人孤独
多少次的寂寞挣扎在心头
只为挽回我将远去的脚步
多少次我忍住胸口的泪水
只是为了告诉我自己
我不在乎

旅行的意义.

两个人带着各自的烦恼一起逃亡去..

Till we're back 4 days later.. (and that means hiatus from tmr till the thirteenth.)

silent run by toyib

Koizora · 恋空

happy birthday mummy!

happy birthday to mummy dearest!!!

极度愤怒 · 突然感伤

昨天duty时在对阿口转述那个关于我与gang的友情故事的时候, 终于能在愤愤不平中找到一些平静。是终于放下了吗？我希望。