璀璨 · 失落

渐渐的，我才明白为什么大家那么爱看烟火表演

因为在暗暗的夜空中，突然光芒四射的那瞬间

其实真的很美

就像五颜六色的流星迫不及待地要将你所有梦想都实现

而如果伴你身边的是你的挚爱

其实真的会很浪漫的

quoted Adrenalynne.

I Can't Communicate.

the difficulty to communicate with father is always there. its like something that just a thin membrane, but no matter how hard we try, its still there.

and this is making my life shit. things are not getting better and there is no solution to it. no even when we win 10million toto.. hais..

the connection is just not there. its just my fault for not being that kinda son that they want..

now playing: 张智成 - 很想你

1. i am f- bored. bored to the extend that i went to friendster and start to search around for people i know.. saw the profile of I and W. haha. the eye candy of YP! *YP better stop calling me stalker of blogs and friendster.. i is just pure bored la ok.

2. was reminded by Sandy that this coming weekend is the last fri of the month again- department lunch. it means i have to organise again.. and to my horror it also means aug is here! and sept is right after that. NS. -_-

not that i am afraid of ns. its just that i discovered i am totally unprepared and time left is very little. i better start jogging!!!!!


3. a few days ago mum was telling me about Gary. and NS. she reminded me that i need to bring those papers when i enlist. its lost. how ha?

4. met up with Gary last sat for gathering- da first after he enlist. the irony is that the botak recruit did not wear a cap, but i wore a beanie. LOL. caught Invisible Target, a show starring Nic Tse, Shawn Yue and Jaycee Chan. not bad a show! after that was tau huay and i went to his house for a while to chat and sorts.

5. usually i manage to catch the last train home from Gary's home. but this time i missed the last bus! jus sian la.. in order to save the cab fare i decided to take another last train to serangoon. called sammy to ask if he wanna meet supper, since i already has to take midnight cab. makes no diff in how much longer i stayed right?

sam couldnt meet for supper. however he offered to give me a lift home.. how nice of him! kind of missed the days in school where we hang out like almost everyday.. life seems to have like missed some pieces without the people so constantly being around..

6. just before i alight the car, it was the usual shake and hug bye we do. 933 was our best friend and it played 很想你 by 张智成 at that very moment.

7. now playing: 张智成 - 很想你




你在哪里 这些年来如意不如意
还快乐 还单纯 还美丽
时光如何对你

我在这里人海中的一座岛屿
很平静风平浪静
只除了深夜里回忆会疯狂来袭

我很想你 你知道吗
如果可以就让我再见你
美好微笑清澈眼睛
好确定那持离只毁了我 一个而已

我在哪里?你会不会偶尔好奇?
有没有曾经怀疑?
我说我会忘记只是种好意

我很想你 听见了吗
这是唯一我无解的困境
那些过去不肯过去
不管我后来遇见多少人
只能叹息
都不是你
我只想爱你

Horoscope today.

This could be a day when people are expressing themselves in strong ways, Kelvin kho. Some people might let their anger come out. Others might become critical with their language. If any of this negativity is aimed your way, try to duck! It's not your responsibility to be an emotional caretaker or baby-sitter to people's mood swings. Demand that colleagues approach you in a professional manner, and don't indulge anyone who isn't rational in their tone.





wallaos. damn true. hoho.. i've got that feeling!!!

Horoscope today.

You are a very self-sufficient person, Kelvin kho, and you don't always trust other people with your true thoughts and concerns. Sometimes it's good to humble yourself and just be human. Let someone new into your life today and open up to them. Or maybe dare to get a little closer with someone who might only know you on a superficial level. You are due to make a new friend soon, and this person will add much to your life.


wa. like real. dunno true or not.

breakdown

the second day that is low in productivity. yesterday morning, there is a power break down at the govt data center. all net access and lotus email access were cut off. access did not come back even when i am knocking off at 6 plus..

net access is back today but theres something wrong in the email. all my mails are gone and there is actually quite alot of impt info i stored there.. =(

sianz.. not that i am itching for work but its just pure rotting here when theres nothing to do.. nothing much to surf too and surfing blogs will make yuping and the rest say i am a STALKER!!! haha..

ok enough of the boring stuff..

lunch was at komalas yesterday! i havent been there for a long long time.. but my first attempt there was with the FNN class.. and that already like 4 plus yrs ago!! food was ok only la.. but at least get to eat something diff from the food courts that i have been eating like for how many months liao. had the poori briyani.. big serving lor.. the poori is not bad..

*****

1144hrs

kb. fed up lor. some people jus know how to chao keng. everything also say dont know. like just dont come and work like might as well stay at home. its not that i have not taught how to do it before. bad moodie. i hope she dont come and step on my toes right now.

*****

dont exactly feel welcomed or wanted. like so out of place. i wanna go... =(

15 more mins, lunch here i come!

*****

updates 1435hrs:

on news!

now playing: 蔡依林 - 你还爱我吗

夜里传来雨的声音
轻轻拨动心的旋律
情不自禁想起你
那些甜蜜的回忆
总是不小心就淋湿了我的眼睛
爱情需要一些呼吸
偶尔保持一点距离
回到朋友的关系
任你自由的来去
从此想念你只能放在我心里

你还爱我吗
一直好想问你这句话
却又怕听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗
为何你总是不说话
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎
你爱我吗
好久没有你的消息
心里还惦记着你

在这冷冷的夜里
感觉那么的熟悉
好想再见你想听听你的声音
感情的路总让人好无助
我会学着面对独处
给深爱的你祝福

oh
一直好想问你这句话
却又怕听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗
这是我唯一的牵挂
不管你会有什么回答
我会一直等你
你还爱我吗

Passive Vs Assertive.

to those people, i was passive. i kept thinking that if i try to make the effort, the friendship can go on.

now, i am more like assertive. cos i have had enough of those un-replied sms-es and calls.




bye bye. thanks for once being there.

Graduated: Class of 2007

06 07 07, the day i GRADUATED! a day full of mixed feeling. a place i so damned wanna get out when i was in there, a place i so wanna get back to when i am outta it. met a lot of familiar faces, including the lecturers, frens, tep mates, and many people. having gotten so used to a life where i see them everyday, it does make me miss them alot, even thou it is just a short 5 month since we are done with the exams.

A multimedia video the MS students made is shown at the start of the grad, is quite impressive lor. i like it- simple, nice, brings back lots of sweet memories. it reminds me of the three years here.. the ceremony is ok, something i had not been to before. thank god that rena is sitting next to me!!! if not i will die of boredom.. not a long wait before its finally my turn to go up.. saw steven lee and also miss ang.. the short chat with her jus before i go out onto the stage managed to calm me down slightly..

Anw, i think i blurly strided to the centre stage, but deep in my mind i am walking a lil more carefully in order not to fall flat or trip on the carpet or gown, making the myself the biggest joke of my life! haha. in the end, dad says i was too blur that i was not facing the right side when i am accepting the empty folder. and he also says my head is very big. -_-"

Proceeded for reception after the ceremony. flew to find my family and friends, ready to take tonnes of photos! Thats the only interesting thing i’m looking forward to.. the food at the recep was pathetically ok~ took more photos before leaving that place.



*****


Sidenote: The moment I stood on stage waiting to receive the damned cert i worked hard for 3 years to get it, the thoughts and playbacks crammed my mind. Lots of thots in fact. but the one question that stayed afloat:

I graduated. Are my parents proud?

Studies hasnt been smooth for me since sec sch. i will never forget that day where i failed my math exam. that my parents are called to sch. and the words that my dad said to me.. Jus hope that today has made up for it la! =)

now playing: 周杰伦 - 不能说的秘密

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面

拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 oh
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

quotes: from DTF

...我只知道，当时抱着志聪的我，虽然很努力地不去回想5年前的一个下午，但还是失败了。那天，一个穿着深蓝色衬衫、戴着眼镜的男孩，亲手送了一盒来自瑞士的巧克力给我。

lets welcome.

mr 作文簿!!!

thats peter in his fav shirt. we call him 作文簿先生. very handsome right!

he adores doraemon like me too!!! he got that doraemon umbrella!! who says guys cant like cartoons?

Grouchy.

yet again.

as usual, i am grouchy over a hair cut. it did not turn out well, despite having to spend more at jean yip. hair cut aren't bad but i just don't like it when it looked like my hair hasn't been cut at all. worse- the stylist GEL my hair when its done. GEL. omfg. that thing has not gotten onto my hair since eons ago. even the xiao di who rinse my hair is laughing at me!!! the ending sentance he gave me is the best:

你是不是回家？ok 啦回家就不要緊。要出去就要重弄。

-_-

aarrgghh!!! sianzation. i was v tempted to try that hair style that i have not had the balls to try it for very long liao. should i should i???

*****

hais. life has reached yet another new low. there is absolutely nothing i am looking forward to right now. its kinda sad, that life is feeling quite meaningless. what is becoming of me...

*****

...and im gonna stick with u through this fight called LIFE!

If only.

nothing to type for this post. i just suddenly think of alot of if onlys.



people CAN say what they do not meant..
people CAN say nice things, just for the sake of saying it..




i was never in there.

愛 · 放手

該放手？不該放手？好多人都提出了看法。

說似容易，要付諸行動，談何容易？



其中的酸甜苦辣，除了當事人，又有誰能真正了解？跟著感覺走，其他人說的只能儅意見。

愛與不愛，在於自己。