insincere.

没诚意。

sometimes i just cant be bothered. the level of insincerity is just too high for my to even turn up the event. dun even bother to tell me the details of it. and when i call to ask at the eleventh hour i can even be told sorry forget to tell you. walao!

nuff said.

posted out!

just got the news yesterday, 20 minutes before its time for me to go off. shocked, very.

no reason at all, just citing- posted out due to medical grounds.

in short, i am becoming a clerk.

omg its like a dream come true!!!

end of misery?

i hope so.. after hanging there for so long, i snapped. i thought i could have just hanged there all the time.. but some things, some words he said, just triggered me and everything was let go..

will things turn for a better? or for the worse?

let time decide.

absurd.

singaporeans are full of nonsense.

they want chen xi and yue niang to be together. how is that possible! especially after the both of them living in the guilt of causing yu zhu all her misery of being raped and abused.

no, i still dun think they should be together.

but well, i do agree the ending is not very good. too hasty. too much to tell, too little time.

2009!

Happy 牛 year!

cny in 3 weeks. clothes-buying season!!! woohoo-!

dong dong qiang!

just back home meeting mich at kovan and i was greeted by the chinese new year songs from the loud speakers at the pasar malam.

like omg la its coming already! in less that a month!

time flies...

death.

has been thinking, what if i were to die suddenly one day? like suddenly.

not say i am paranoid becos everyone will eventually die la. but i have just been pondering this thing for a long long time.

have i lived with no regrets? done everything with my max and fullest effort?
what will happen to my parents? friends?

what will people who have been pushing away my request for gatherings feel?
what will people who have been excluding me in gatherings feel?
what will people who do not reply sms and missed calls feel?
what will people who pangseh me feel?
what will people who like me feel?
what will people who hates me feel?

so this is how you think?

u've given up thinkin much abt tryin to meet with frens and all wen it seems it doesnt matter much.

i am so disappointed.

You, you and you.

我不需要，也不惜罕。

Crap.

I've always thought the whole gala dinner thing is a crap. compulsory attendance even though we are still paying. what crap!

back to school.

it feels so much like back to school days, met up with tat, janet, erica over sat AND sun! it has been so long since we met up straight two days, which makes me feels like back to school all the way!

saturday was for janet's 21st! headed to her house after some present hunting in town. jan's family is a lively and fun one! all the relatives are so friendly! we talked to her uncle, cousin, godpa and godma and alot more other members!

next was chilling in town with loads of talks. met up with the trio after the lunch with campmates. camped at burger king (!) before the girls left at ard 6, so me and tat roams around and talked alot. its good to do catching up once in the while.. which is what we have been unable to do since we have all got on to our busier lives..

anw, we have been thinking of a small trip overseas! i am thinking of having it at my birthday week, haha! not a bad choice what. since everything i have planned for the chalet is SCREWED UP cos there is no more chalet available.

If you know me,

but you don't.







If ever...

boo.

how long can someone live with that increasing amount of disappointment before they finally snap?

i don't know, don't ask me.








i am really so sick of communicating.
so sick of putting up a fake front.

突然 好想你.

五月天 - 突然好想你

最怕空气突然安静 最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚 绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息

想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今 终於让自已属於我自已
只剩眼泪还骗不过自己

突然好想你 你会在哪里 过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你 突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

我们像一首最美丽的歌曲 变成两部悲伤的电影
为什麽你 带我走过最难忘的旅行
然後留下最痛的纪念品

我们 那麽甜 那麽美 那麽相信
那麽疯 那麽热烈的曾经
为何我们 还是要奔向各自的幸福
和遗憾中老去

突然好想你 你会在哪里 过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你 突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚 绞痛着不平息

最怕突然听到你的消息
最怕此生已经决定自己过 没有你
却又突然 听到你的消息

who who who?

Who gave it to you?
Who was that person to you?
Who is the person to you?

No matter how significant it was, it's already in the past.

We always find ourselves holding on to things. Sometimes, we hold on to these things for so long, we forget what we were holding on to. It's only when we let go of them, then can we see what we were holding on to.

-quoted potatomusmaximus.

now playing: 我爱的人

我爱的人 不是我的爱人
他心里每一寸 都属于另一个人
他真幸福 幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨 他的爱怎么那么深
我爱的人 他已有了爱人
从他们的眼神 说明了我不可能
每当听见 她或他说「我们」
就像听见爱情 永恒的嘲笑声

the full stop came.

all the ceremonies ended today.

the wake, the funeral, the cremation, the ash collecting.

there is really little i can do for my uncle, my cousins and the rest of the family other than helping out here and there and be there for them.

stayed overnight on the last night, to keep zhen zhao company throughout the night so that he wouldnt feel so lonely, and grandma and uncle can have catch some sleep. somehow i felt close to my uncle and cousin again. the talkings, the chats.

sometime ago i still see cousin quite often as uncle would send him to school before we go to camp. but the converstation (if hello can also be counted as conversation) is short as i think we arent "warmed up" yet. but i am really glad that i am here with them.

the night reminded me of the times where mum is helping to take care of zhen zhao and yan xiang when we were still living at the old home, and uncle and aunt would come over with treats like cookies and goodies while picking them home.

i know how zhen zhao is feeling. no, not totally, but i do. it hurts, when he was saying to me that he feels time pass super fast that partiular night. i know i shd say something to him but other than being there with him, i dunno what to say. i am one that is not good with words.

i thought i was holding myself quite well, not letting emotions taking over me thruout the 4 days. but at the last day, before the cortege leaves, the musicians are here and when they started playing the songs, i crumbled. i cant take it. the final moment. its coming to the end, that kind of songs they played..

i have never seen my mum cried so badly before.
i have never seen my grand parents like that before.
i have never seen my uncle like that before.
i have never seen everyone like that before..

i think aunt is happy.. so many of the relatives came to send her off.. and she is not no longer in pain. and i hope that uncle and cousin will live strongly from now on.

...

jiu mu passed away yesterday afternoon, while i am in camp and its a duty day so i cant book out only till today.

thou we're all prepared, the news still kind of shook me when it came, as we just went over to visit her on sunday..

angela's quotes #1

口味，因人而异，那么难迎合，却又总想去迎合。
到头来还不是一场空？

如果...?

像开始时那样
握着手就算天快亮?



(now playing 戴佩妮 - 怎样)