为什么

你跟我说话的语气会那么冷淡？

是还在怪我吗？

我们是朋友。。但为什么现在只剩下冷冷的感觉？


灯光也暗了 音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了
窗外阴天了 人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了

电话响起了 你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎么你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了 是你变了

灯光熄灭了 音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了 人是不快乐

我的心真的受伤了

~张学友 我真的受伤了

thank god amanda is here to gossip with me. it helped me alot! i am like feeling 10% better le!

we talked alot.. bout disgusting people with different faces.. how other people treat us.. how love and friendships failed us again and again.

and zb is here to tok to me too! u 2 helped alot today.. really.. and i appreciate it from my heart... i really do.. =)

problems all ard!!! i am so vexed i am so vexed i am so vexed!!!

i have people angry of me ( i dunno y )
i have tonnes of projs pending ( and i dunno where to start )

damns.. i feel like i am collapsing le..

"Stacey and her best friend, Fran, stopped talking after a fight about how to divvy up the bill in a restaurant. The two friends had gone out for a Moroccan food. Stacey had ordered the special: barbecued lamb over couscous. Fran had a bowl of lentil soup and some flatbread. Over the dinner, they each had a glass of red wine and enjoyed the belly dancing. They caught up on each other's lives, at one point, laughing out so hard over Fran's antics at work that they cried. It was what they loved most about each other -- how easy it was to laugh loudly when they were together.

After dinner, Stacey ordered dessert, and Fran declined. Both enjoyed the mint tea traditionally served at the end of the meal. A tall, turbaned waiter stood at his full height and poured the steaming sweet tea into the tall glasses on the table -- from three feet above. They watched, delighted, at his casual, practised aim. It was a perfect end to a wonderful dinner.

When the bill arrived, Stacey assumed they would split the bill evenly. Fran pulled out a pencil and started to calculate what each of them had spent. The two women fought about it. Finally, so as not to create a scene, Fran paid the half but left the restaurant, fuming.

Afterward, Fran refused to pick up Stacey's calls. Stacey stomped around, feeling hurt, perplexed and angry.

"At first, i couldn't believe how ridiculous Fran was being. Why was she making such a big deal about how we split the bill? i couldn't believe she'd be willing to throw away our whole friendship over such a petty thing. But as time went by, i began to wonder if maybe something was going on. By the time i ran into our mutual friend, Petrina, i was ready to listen. Petrina reminded me that i come from a family that is well-off and that money has never been an issue to me. Then she reminded me of Fran's situation: She was a single mother who've gone back to college, and money was really tight for her. When i heard Petrina says that, the whole picture suddenly became clear. i thought about all the times Fran wanted to eat at home when i insisted on eating out, all the times she lobbied for an inexpensive place when i pushed for something fancier. i thought how embarrassing that must have been for Fran and how hard it might have been for her to bring it up. The more i looked at my own behaviour, the more i was faced with my own insensitivity."

Is it humbling to accept the fact that our own stubbornness, selfishness or lack of awareness has contributed to the loss of a relationship we once held so dear? "

~ quoted from minzhen, and it send me thinking again..

> now playing: hong jun yang - nan dao <

waa! excited day! cos we went to jun yang's concert at sch.. a big group of us! with ser ser, jess, minzhen, kl and zb, lijia, shaune, yan lee, wei ling, adelene, rena, jieying and a few more. his singing is great! no off pitch lo.. not like us normal people go k box still off pitch haa. anw, there is this game segment. where he came down to the audience and ask qns and give away posters. and the last qns, he came to where we were. and stopped jus 50 cm away from me.

and the host, cruz said: whose shoe is the same color as jy will ans a qns. and its shaune! haa! we were all quite shocked cos din expect its one of us! and shaune was so shocked and shaking voice when she answer.. haa.. and she got a autographed poster! lucky her! a fun event..

after that, the phui! family went to have a mini outing and soon mz and ser ser went off.. cos mz forgot she got tuition.. haa.. and so its left me and da couple to walk walk ard lo.. and then we saw mckenzie at long john.. while makaning, so coincident. we walked ard several shops and talked alot.. after which we were all so tired la.. and all 3 slept like pigs on the train.

who the fcuk u think you are?

if u wanna be the leader, please act like one. by jus talking and emailing like one is of no use. cos even i noe how to do that too!

no more last min work anymore.

no more nonsense anymore.

thanks to YOU i have no peace over the last week end. not enough sleep. not enough time to do any other thing.

today need to submit de ica, no news until i asked about on fri. and got no reply somemore. IF THATS THE WAY YOU ARE, THATS THE WAY I AM TOO! I JUS FCUKING PISSED WITH YOU. CAN? HAPPY? SORRY IF YOU ARE NOT.. COS ITS JUST ME.. =)

no sleep, rush work, and in the end still being grumbled. its not as if i dont do anything. but see the time and resources given. to think that i can still chunk out the info.

please.. hope that i can control myself... and dun explode.. cos i can sense i am going to.. !!!!!

Generally, everyone changed more or less.
We met up but things will never be the same again.
Every one is living their own lives, walking their own paths and exploring their adulthoods.
Our lives once interconnected but it doesn’t seem so anymore…
There is such a Chinese saying, “天底下，没有不散的宴席”.
There’s no banquet that do not end in this world.

~copyright dickson chew

在我眼里你永远最美
连你一个微笑也都会让我醉
你所谓的幸福我想给
以为手不放开就是痴心绝对
太愚昧
难道
笑容没了 距离有了 快乐也走了
还是真心死了 彼此不信任了
终於懂了真的

很想说有你是幸福的
很想说我的心是你的
很想说你真的误解了
很想说你真的忘记了
很想说会好好疼你的
很想说爱你是自由的
很想说你是否听见了
很想说你真的忘记了

爱了就有坚持理由
别说我会留在路口
不会走
爱你会直到最後

很想说我们可不可以 复合

~李圣杰 - 很想说

"Suddenly we are miles apart
in each and everyone's heart.

To think of the words we said
in our memorable good olden days.

The path we took, the place we've been
will always be on my mind, in each and every night.

In the mist of thoughts,
Despite a tear of mine,
Are we friends again?
Would you give it a try..."

~copyright minzhen

其實做人，最重要的還是要問心無愧！對別人，對自己都不要太強求！
~想说爱你不容易

in need of help for my frustration and i feel lucky that jessica and peisin is here for me!!

peisin scolded me for being so pessimistic and taking blames.

jessica wasnt happy for the same reason of me "torturing" myself with these tots.. and wanted the happy go lucky me to be back. also brought up a clear analysis of this issue and consoled me alot. love ya jie mei!

i feel thankful for them to be here to solve this prob with me! otherwise i will die from suffocation of all ths probs with my icas and exams. still doing psns ica and qm~~~!!!

jiayou kel.
jiayou jess.

worked extras this week.. cos mhd is on mc. tues went to ikea for some research for ps ica. and then sudden got a call then i went to cover mhd's shift. didnt want to work till so late cos the next day have entre ica on finance and i havent studied a single bit! but then i got tired of the idea to go home by bus.. and so i worked till closing for the cab. reached home at 2am, studied a bit before i head bed for a few hours rest and then its sch for the test.

i think i did.. pretty ok.. haha.. for the first time my P&L and cashflow can tally.. lol..

after which i had to go work again.. and then its today. haha..

ok i gtg. tonnes of icas pending. ps and qm ica, here i come!

will i lose another important friend of my life?

if we did fell out, it will be the worst thing that happen. cos its cause of a bloody 20 bucks. sighs.. i jus came to realise.. maybe i am not that good a friend to him ba.. i dun understand his plights at all, i cant help him at all. any troubles he have, he probably wouldnt find me too.. i hate to but i have to admit, i give EVERYONE a feel that i am not TRUST WORTHY at all.

but why? i have this friend that we are this good, but i am really afraid if the friendship is going to end anytime soon. i pray and i hope, there will be no ending..


i really hope he sees this post. cause i wanna let him noe that i care. but..


he doesnt read my blog.

i dont want to let anyone noe.
i hate to admit it.

but when i turned ard, i jus see no one.

lonely.

Once you have been tagged, you have to blog about 6 wierd facts about yourself, saying who tagged you, and choose 6 people to tag and list their names.

5 wierd facts
1. i wanted to be a newscaster.
2. can travel for far jus to eat something
3. appeared to have many friends, but actually no
4. used to can eat alot but dun get fat.. but now dunno y...
5. i like to blog in chinese

Tagged by: mightyantz

6 people to tagged:
1. shaune
2. KA
3. Serene
4. Kailing
5. Herry
6. Minzhen

xiu is the one who said something that i think really comforted me ba...

xiu says:
since u sae u've waited 5 yrs.. if u guys r Meant to b tgt, u guys will lor.. nO pt holding oN & holding on Now.. u may just b used by her if u conTinue to wait on..
but den again.. asking u to gif up & telling urself to gif up is ez la.. but act 'putting it into actions' is tough. . .
cos such tings r beyond one's control..

i am turning into a glutton at work!

> now playing: mi lu bing - xi huan ni <

woo.... i havent been blogging properly this two days le.. lol.. cos quite busy.. anw, yest we went to the entre seminar.. featuring teo ser lee and vernetta lopez. its a very enriching seminar! dun regret going.. i think thruout my poly life there is several seminars i went, this would so far be the best ba.. haha.. sharing some points that i pucked up from the speakers..

* always be hungry. the hunger for success, everything, would be the drive to push you further.
* if you dont like school, think the other way round. its actually out job right now and that we should try to success in it. take it as a practice for the future work life.
* juggling between family and work. there time for work to wait, but not family. DO NOT live with regret when there is time that your family member is no longer there for you, therefore you should make them the top of ur list everyday.

erm.. i think theres some more points but it jus slipped my mind... well its a really nice talk that i will remember.. hee!!

今天和你一起吃午餐。。感觉有一点怪。说不上是因为什么，只是有点感慨。

为什么曾经的那么熟悉，会变成今天的那么陌生。

共同的话题不再有，我也参不进你们的对话。甚至连最了解你的那个人，也不再是我。这就是曾经的好友吗？

应该是吧。都说是曾经了。

整顿饭，只和你说了两句话。有一点怀念以前我们的滔滔不绝。但，过往的从前还回得来吗?


其实现在已不再有愤怒，仇恨。QQ说得对。期待越少，相对的失望就也会很少。只是有点感慨，曾经的“永远”，竟然会如此的脆弱，经不起考验。

Proud to present

Proud to present...

my can collection!!!! years of hard work..

> now playing: liang yong qi - pian jian <

我手心的温度渐渐在离开
你口中的谎言慢慢能明白
早知求也求不回来
即使最后只剩残骸
心不会更改没有祝福我明白

看凋零的玫瑰在静静发呆
朋友对我责怪要我放得开
固执对我是种虐待
越爱得深越难抛开
爱是种偏见如果可以再重来

我明白爱情已经超载
爱的完全坏了姿态
你冷眼看待就像是种伤害
我好像站在无人山崖
全世界都抛在外

明知你不再回来
我早已明白

dear XX (you know who you are)
one again you are attached
shd i be happy?
or how shd i feel?
i do feel happy for you... but..

> now playing: chen yi - deng dai <


生命已经够短暂。。。生活已经够艰难。
如果连家庭都不能成为我们的避风港。。。那。。。是不是出错了呢？
~ahleck.blogspot.com

sianz.. got more than 7 icas due and lots of problems.. tired and tired and tired all the time.

probs with CB ica.
probs with RW ica.

kill me with those ica please.. haa...

#####

anws, heres a para quoted from junli's blog!

"最近很偶然地碰见了几位曾经在我生活中。。“灿烂”过的朋友。
曾经在野外同甘共苦。
曾经在夜晚里互相鼓励。
曾经的精神支柱。
曾经的。。。永远。

不过无论我多么努力地去寻找这些回忆，我始终无法把它们从睡梦中唤醒。
真的很奇怪。当感觉失踪的时候，是福，还是祸呢？

应该怎么办呢？应该努力耕耘，继续寻找火花，还是让一切。。。尽在不言中？

话不投机半句多。我选择安静的离去。

因为先离开的。。。不是我。"

i really duno y.. but many times i can relate myself to his reflections very closely.. haa! but nowadays i also kan kai alot le ba.. thanks to the many talks some friends give to me.. i have grown stronger! maybe.. i am.. i hope so.. sighs..

#####

a story posted on minzhen's blog, sent by ser ser thru email too... a story thats quite a sad one lo..

有那麽一對情侶.女孩很漂亮,非常善解人意,偶爾時不時出些壞點子耍耍男孩.男孩很聰明,也很懂事,最主要的一點.幽默感很強.總能在2個人相處中找到可以逗女孩發笑的方式.女孩很喜歡男孩這種樂天派的心情.

　　他們一直相處不錯,女孩對男孩的感覺,淡淡的,說男孩象自己的親人.

　　男孩對女孩愛甚深,非常非常在乎她.所以每當吵架的時候,男孩都會說是自己不好,自己的錯.即使有時候真的不怪他的時候,他也這麽說.他不想讓女孩生氣.

　　就這樣過了5年,男孩仍然非常愛女孩,象當初一樣.

　　有一個周末,女孩出門辦事,男孩本來打算去找女孩,但是一聽說她有事,就打消了這個念頭.他在家裏呆了一天,他沒有聯繫女孩,他覺得女孩一直在忙,自己不好去打擾他.

　　誰知女孩在忙的時候,還想著男孩,可是一天沒有接到男孩的消息,她很生氣.晚上回家後,發了條資訊給男孩,話說得很重.甚至提到了分手.當時是晚上12點.

　　男孩心急如焚,打女孩手機,連續打了3次,都給挂斷了.打家裏電話沒人接,猜想是女孩把電話線拔了.男孩抓起衣服就出門了,他要去女孩家.當時是12點25.

　　女孩在12點40的時候又接到了男孩的電話,從手機打來的,她又給挂斷了.

　　一夜無話.男孩沒有再給女孩打電話.

　　?天,女孩接到男孩母親的電話,電話那邊聲淚俱下.男孩昨晚出了車禍.警方說是車速過快導致刹車不急,撞到了一輛壞在半路的大貨車.救護車到的時候,人已經不行了.

　　女孩心痛到哭不出來,可是再後悔也沒有用了.她只能從點滴的回憶中來懷念男孩帶給她的歡樂和幸福.

　　女孩強忍悲痛來到了事故車停車場,她想看看男孩呆過的最後的地方.車已經撞得完全不成樣子.方向盤上,儀錶盤上,還沾有男孩的血迹.

　　男孩的母親把男孩當時身上的遺物給了女孩,錢包,手錶,還有那部沾滿了男孩鮮血的手機.女孩翻開錢包,裏面有她的照片,血漬浸透了大半張.

　　當女孩拿起男孩的手錶的時候,赫然發現,手錶的指標停在12點35分附近.

　　女孩瞬間明白了,男孩在出事後還用最後一絲力氣給她打電話,而她自己卻因爲還在堵氣沒有接.男孩再也沒有力氣去撥第2遍電話了,他帶著對女孩的無限眷戀和內疚走了.

　　女孩永遠不知道,男孩想和她說的最後一句話是什麽.女孩也明白,不會再有人會比這個男孩,更愛她了！

has it left you something to think about?

> now playing: otown - all or nothing <


its been ages since i blogged in school! haa.. havent blog for a few days cos was busy.. and all the nonsense.. haa.. all activities will start from last thurs, the bbq. lots of controversal over it, but we still enjoyed it.. a "bitter-sweet" outing.. of cos nothing bad happened.. the bitter part is the tiredness.. haa..

after ps lect at 8, minzhen's parents were kind enough to drive us there.. so nice of them.. and then cd, qq, weihao reached at 10 with the food.. then we started to peng kang.. i think this is the bbq that i went that started latest.. and then lasted till like to 2.. when sam came.. and we started our cycling experdition..

cycled at various different speed.. and so i wasnt fixed with any group of people.. at first i was cycling with jx.. then after that mid pace i was with jess, minzhen, qq carrying serser. later on the way back i was with minzhen, and later with kang an and weihao..

anws, ser ser is so boo lor! while learning how to cycle (in the end still dunno) she met with a "foreign love affair". some ang mo guy offered to teach him! and for that she actually said she got no friends and that guy helped her!

omg.
!!!!!!!

ser ser! you yi xing mei ren xing! still ask us to go away and let u learn ur own.. then say u no fren... T_T

haha. cycled to changi village and back lo.. then had breakfirst.. very tired and worn out and feel my butt is swollen and leg pain... but moving my body for some excercise is definately good!!! will post the fotos later once i get them from herr.. =)

QQ says...

was talking with QQ.. chatting.. and talking bout some friends..

QQ says:
cause in the end it's always the 1 u don like that helps and teaches u most

maybe.. the one who has hurt you before also helps and teaches us the most ba.. haha.. dear all, i am refering to a guy friend and the conflicts that happened between us last time.. not bgr probs.. lol!

faith is never used up. it's jus hidding somewhere waiting to be found again.

where is my faith!!!!???

by not expecting anything in return it can also kerb ur anger as no expectiation no emotion ba

hmm.. maybe its cos when we expect something, in the end we do not get it, we feel angry?

so when someone is angry wif you, you shd feel happy instead, as they got expectation in you.

i hope somebody will see this line.. haa! and i also hope those i am angry, was once angry with will see this too!

if they are persistant in doing that then it means its better off not having them in your life.. but as long as they are human, they will be touched by taking and not giving.

and i don think any1 can hate some1 forever too

QQ has left me something to think for the night..

out of boredom and nothing to do.. i played with photoshop..

> now playing: cao ge - superwoman <

yawnz... 2236pm and i jus woke up from a nap not long ago.. felt real sleepy after dinner and couldnt resist the temptation of my bed la! but anw, i am real confused of school happenings nowadays.. dunch noe the ICAs la! which is coming up, when they are due etc. sighs i better gotta buck up! so disappointed after i see my CCMgt paper today. the result shall not be mentioned here. sighs...

life has been.. not right.
always got this funny feeling that it is not quite right..

this two weeks will be a big challenge to myself.. lots of activities+work+sch.. i wonder if the lazy bone me will be able to take all these.. i gotta be more positive!

#####

hmm.. recently i have got lots of news of friends who went in to "green man island" already.. peeps like kiat, bong and weibin.. and they are all dying to go home... bong even got himself injured i think.. cos he say he got slip disc.. which is not a prob in those ole sch days...

i am such a lazy person.
i miss my home so much.

i wonder how i am going to survive there.

cousin sam jus got ORD. time do flies fast! and soon its gonne be my turn.. bahz! shall not think of the unknown la.. haa..

> now playing: tanya - ji nian <

i changed fone. sighs. with many sadness.

goodbye my dream fone. my 7610. so much memories. the only thing i own that is common between us.

i got myself a k750 of sony ericsson. main point is cos its cheap. haha. tight on budget now la.. but its not a bad fone.. the cam is great!

i pray hard that this fone will not give me as much headache and heartache.

adapted from cjx's blog..

#####

Humans are such mystery creatures

I looked forward for thursday night cycling.
Just want to have time with friends together cycling & chit chatting.
Yet again,
i'm disappointed.

A class BBQ was organised for the whole class to participate,
once again,
due to a few people, many doesn't want to come.
Why can't a class BBQ always be a class BBQ ?

Some people aren't meant to be called anything,
but these people are just what i called..
Classmates.

Yes i'm straight-forward.
Because i doesn't hide my feelings while blogging.
Thats me.
If this post happened to hurt anybody indirectly or directly,
thats not my problem.
Because classmates will always remain as classmates..
forever in my mind..
Classmates.

.
.
.
.

Enough is enough..

#####

finally! after so many years.. someone finally got to noe how i always felt!!!!!!!!

> now playing: jolin - jia zhuang<

been a few days since i last blogged! ahhzzz.... faints.. work has been disaster. one more piece lost. and i think this time we are forking out the $$ to pay for it.. sighs..

like what weihao says: work whole day, in the end give it back to the company.

freak la~!

#####

i had this friend.

i tot we might be good friends.

sometimes he needs me, he will find me.

other times, i will have to look for him or i will never see him.

are we still good friends? or only he is my good friend, and i am not his?


confused. and need an answer.

#####

i had this friend.

i liked her before.

we were close,

but she does not want to be together with me.

am i wrong for asking her to be that someone special for me?


i am confused. i need an answer.