"Stacey and her best friend, Fran, stopped talking after a fight about how to divvy up the bill in a restaurant. The two friends had gone out for a Moroccan food. Stacey had ordered the special: barbecued lamb over couscous. Fran had a bowl of lentil soup and some flatbread. Over the dinner, they each had a glass of red wine and enjoyed the belly dancing. They caught up on each other's lives, at one point, laughing out so hard over Fran's antics at work that they cried. It was what they loved most about each other -- how easy it was to laugh loudly when they were together.
After dinner, Stacey ordered dessert, and Fran declined. Both enjoyed the mint tea traditionally served at the end of the meal. A tall, turbaned waiter stood at his full height and poured the steaming sweet tea into the tall glasses on the table -- from three feet above. They watched, delighted, at his casual, practised aim. It was a perfect end to a wonderful dinner.
When the bill arrived, Stacey assumed they would split the bill evenly. Fran pulled out a pencil and started to calculate what each of them had spent. The two women fought about it. Finally, so as not to create a scene, Fran paid the half but left the restaurant, fuming.
Afterward, Fran refused to pick up Stacey's calls. Stacey stomped around, feeling hurt, perplexed and angry.
"At first, i couldn't believe how ridiculous Fran was being. Why was she making such a big deal about how we split the bill? i couldn't believe she'd be willing to throw away our whole friendship over such a petty thing. But as time went by, i began to wonder if maybe something was going on. By the time i ran into our mutual friend, Petrina, i was ready to listen. Petrina reminded me that i come from a family that is well-off and that money has never been an issue to me. Then she reminded me of Fran's situation: She was a single mother who've gone back to college, and money was really tight for her. When i heard Petrina says that, the whole picture suddenly became clear. i thought about all the times Fran wanted to eat at home when i insisted on eating out, all the times she lobbied for an inexpensive place when i pushed for something fancier. i thought how embarrassing that must have been for Fran and how hard it might have been for her to bring it up. The more i looked at my own behaviour, the more i was faced with my own insensitivity."
Is it humbling to accept the fact that our own stubbornness, selfishness or lack of awareness has contributed to the loss of a relationship we once held so dear? "
~ quoted from minzhen, and it send me thinking again..
After dinner, Stacey ordered dessert, and Fran declined. Both enjoyed the mint tea traditionally served at the end of the meal. A tall, turbaned waiter stood at his full height and poured the steaming sweet tea into the tall glasses on the table -- from three feet above. They watched, delighted, at his casual, practised aim. It was a perfect end to a wonderful dinner.
When the bill arrived, Stacey assumed they would split the bill evenly. Fran pulled out a pencil and started to calculate what each of them had spent. The two women fought about it. Finally, so as not to create a scene, Fran paid the half but left the restaurant, fuming.
Afterward, Fran refused to pick up Stacey's calls. Stacey stomped around, feeling hurt, perplexed and angry.
"At first, i couldn't believe how ridiculous Fran was being. Why was she making such a big deal about how we split the bill? i couldn't believe she'd be willing to throw away our whole friendship over such a petty thing. But as time went by, i began to wonder if maybe something was going on. By the time i ran into our mutual friend, Petrina, i was ready to listen. Petrina reminded me that i come from a family that is well-off and that money has never been an issue to me. Then she reminded me of Fran's situation: She was a single mother who've gone back to college, and money was really tight for her. When i heard Petrina says that, the whole picture suddenly became clear. i thought about all the times Fran wanted to eat at home when i insisted on eating out, all the times she lobbied for an inexpensive place when i pushed for something fancier. i thought how embarrassing that must have been for Fran and how hard it might have been for her to bring it up. The more i looked at my own behaviour, the more i was faced with my own insensitivity."
Is it humbling to accept the fact that our own stubbornness, selfishness or lack of awareness has contributed to the loss of a relationship we once held so dear? "
~ quoted from minzhen, and it send me thinking again..
