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Saturday, April 08, 2006
Thursday, April 06, 2006
today it rained.. just like yesterday.. but i still don't feel and cool wind on me!! instead its just humid and the oily feel.. (yuck!) after breakfast at 11 i stayed at shopping arcade and chatted with lijia and kailing.. havent chat properly with kailing for donkey months!
**kel and kailing at fusion.. thanks to fusion for lending the digi cam!
then after that we had lunch woth serene, kang an and chang da at mac. and i cant believe wad good deals we got! free lunch!!! mac is giving free beef fantastic with every meal cos they sold one million of it!! i nearly cant believe my eyes.. haha.. but i still got it! yummy!
**our feast!! note the number of free fan-tastics!
忘了过去一切的不快，或许我会活得更释怀。若不是好友，至少打打招呼，谈谈天，也总好过每天想着要如何讨厌这个人。还有两个，还有可能吗？
**kel and kailing at fusion.. thanks to fusion for lending the digi cam!then after that we had lunch woth serene, kang an and chang da at mac. and i cant believe wad good deals we got! free lunch!!! mac is giving free beef fantastic with every meal cos they sold one million of it!! i nearly cant believe my eyes.. haha.. but i still got it! yummy!
**our feast!! note the number of free fan-tastics!忘了过去一切的不快，或许我会活得更释怀。若不是好友，至少打打招呼，谈谈天，也总好过每天想着要如何讨厌这个人。还有两个，还有可能吗？
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
another nice post quoted from someone.. heart warming.. its kinda long so be patient and read!
***
Sibling Love
When I was born, everyone doted on me.
I was (and still am) my parents' first child.
I was my paternal grandparents' first grandchild.
I was a large, bubbly and gurgling baby (ok I made this up - how would I know?!), and although I was a handful, I also made my parents' day.
But.
Being a first child meant I was a guinea pig to my parents' parenting skills to.
Nonetheless, I was the gem of the family (very likely it was because there was no one else for the family to coo over).
I basked in the attention for 4 years.
When I learnt to walk, almost daily, my Ye Ye would go over to my place at Tampines and bring me kiddy-riding.
You know, those rides (kok-kok-beh) that move forward and back while the irritating children songs played repetitively after you slotted in 20c (now is $1).
For those who know where Tampines Blk 201 is, you would know it's somehow a circular concept. My Ye Ye would let me sit on each and every kiddy ride we went past, and after we complete the cycle (say clockwise), he would let me sit again, now anti-clockwise.
My mama would dressed me in the cutest dresses (yes I wore dresses back then) and parade me proudly.
My daddy would fly me up into the air and tickle me (irritatingly) with his stubble.
My aunts would coo over me and buy me toys.
Even strangers would ask to take photos with me.
When I was 4 years old, just started nursery, my mama would go with me on the school bus, giving me 濱濱米果, which I grew to love, even till now.
Yes. I was given THAT kind of attention.
So naturally, I grew into a little brat, and thought that such princessy treatment would last forever.
Good things don't last, do they?
When I was 4 years old, one stormy night, my Ah Ma and cousin came over to stay with me. I didn't know what happened, only that my mama (completed with her big tummy) and daddy went out, but I was quite contented because I was (surprisingly) allowed to play TV games all night long, when usually I wasn't supposed to.
Little did I know, what was to happen over the next few days would change my life forever.
My mama came home with a screaming bundle - my new didi.
I have recollections of going to this orangey-lit clinic with my parents, but for what I didn't know.
I was too young to understand anyway.
From then on, everything changed.
Although to be fair, my parents still treated me the same, but they were also very busy with the new baby.
Everyone who came over cooed at the baby.
I wouldn't say I was neglected, since I cannot really remember anyway, but I know, because of this new addition to the family, caused much anguish to me in the coming years.
While we both grew up, my immense dislike for Didi increased at an alarming rate. Even when I was 5 years old, I had plans to "flush him down the toilet".
I intentionally did things to divert attention to myself.
I poked him, I beat him, I pinched him, I made him cry, I did everything.
Only to have things backfire on me time and time again.
The more I did, the more people showered attention on poor innocent lil' Didi.
The more I did, the more I got scolded, the more Didi get cooed over.
The sibling rivalry grew more and more intensified when Didi started school.
Each time I made him cry, my mama would cane me. While I was howling away, Didi would stand in a corner, widen his teary super big eyes, and ask innocently, "Mama.. why you beat Jiejie?" *big angelic eyes*
Which only set out to make me feel even more hatred towards him, to the extent I started hatching little plans to hurt him.
I did so many things to him I cannot remember, but the one incident that really made me scared, was the time I shoved him intentionally against this rather short rosewood cabinet, about Didi's height.
Didi knocked against the corner of the cabinet, and his eye started bleeding.
Mama and Ah Ma rushed him to the doctor (not before scolding me, of course), and the doctor said if it was 1cm nearer, he would have gone blind.
I was so scared and guilty, I cannot even begin describe it now. (Even now, each time I see the scar on his eyelid, I feel immense guilt.)
I don't think I need to explain what happened to me after my parents came home, even though they were consoled by the doctor that everything was fine.
I was guilty, but I was also angry that Didi got more attention than ever, with my parents blatantly showing that they were protecting him from me.
There was also this time when Didi was about 6 years old I think, and he scolded me with a chao cheebye. I duly shouted and complained to my mama, who didn't believe a word I said. (He learnt it earlier during the day, when my Ah Ma shouted that at my house.)
I got scolded again for "lying", because no one believed the angelic boy would do such a thing. Indignant, maligned, angry, I carried out my "revenge" again - whacking him till he cried, which served no purpose because I got caned, yet again.
Throughout the whole of primary school, I kept my distance from him, and I had a totally rocky relationship with my parents.
Each time I whacked him, he would go cry to my mama, who would in turn cane me, and she would start going hysterical and quarrel with my daddy 'cos of me, and the next day she would yell at me and said it was my fault that I caused them to quarrel, and if they were to divorce she would definitely bring Didi with her and go away. I would feel so scared and beg her to stay. The vicious cycle repeats.
I was constantly threatened by her, that she would bring Didi instead of me. That caused my paranoia and insecurity, which stayed on with me even till now, and it finally took its toll on my latest relationship.
My insecurity was largely caused by the mindset that, even my mother don't want me, who else is obliged to want me? And I managed to convince and brainwash myself that ultimately everyone would leave me because I was a bad girl and I was not good enough for anyone (thus succeeding in pushing my ex away from me too).
In a bid to get my parents' attention back again, I did things to get attention. Attention I did get - but all the wrong ones.
I stole. I let my school work slip. I kicked my friend in the stomach. I further beat up Didi at every chance I got.
All that angst in a primary school girl.
I was from EM1, and back then, it was a big thing to be in the EM1 stream.
But my PSLE was only 239. The second lowest in my class.
Because I had slacked, and in the end, I wasn't able to catch up.
I knew my parents were disappointed. I have failed them yet again.
On the other hand, Didi excelled in school every year.
He was in a respectable school. He was a school prefect. He was first in class every year. He was first in level every year. He was awarded all sorts of book prizes. His report book always reflected good comments from teachers. His results was always perfect.
All of which, all the more contrasted the "failure" I was.
Needless to say, I grew repulsive to him even more.
*
*
*
It was until he started Sec 3, when somehow he changed.
By then, I had also started my Poly Year 3.
Somehow, we started to see eye to eye.
In the past, all the comments I gave him, he would retort that he thought my comments were useless.
But one fine day, I found a bottle of deodorant on his table, after years of telling him boys need deodorant 'cos they generally stink, and girls don't like stinky boys.
And slowly, I began to realise he really did take my opinions into consideration, though he did so quietly.
Which really touched me. Really.
If you are so patient as to have continued reading up till now, you must be wondering what sparked off such an entry.
Ironically, it was a very very small thing that unlocked the gate of emotions within me.
Just before dinner, Didi and I went to have our spectacles made.
He was choosing his frames, I was choosing mine.
The optician took out a few frames for him, and I kept throwing my opinions at him, while my mama kept telling me to shut up and let him choose.
Each time he chose a frame which he thought was OK, I told him what I didn't like about it.
Until I saw this pair of Levis frames and asked him to try it on.
Instantly, I told him it was the nicest, and it really suited him. I had expected him to say "SIAO. Branded leh!" and put it back.
Didi was never one to go crazy about brands (he is price conscious like an aunty).
He totally threw me off the orbit when he grinned loonily at himself in the mirror and said, "Yah. Nice. Ok lor. I take this one."
The optician gawked and said hesitatingly, "Erm.. this one really new arrival leh. Arrived last night only. Total would be $240 leh. You sure?"
He grinned again and said cheekily, "Yah. My mama will pay." and proceeded to check his eyes and all. (I chose a maroon frame from Levis too. Teehee.) And, I stress once again, is totally surprising because Didi was ALWAYS very anal about money, and he never fails to chastise me whenever I spent on things.
That's all. That's what made me so emotional. I was thinking about it in the shower and I burst into tears. It's like my brother actually (and finally) values my opinions.
I feel warm and fuzzy.
And I mentioned how he would always somehow cause me to be scolded or caned by my mama right? (One fine day he even learnt the fucked up way of causing me to be scolded - like when I knock into him purely accidentally, he burst into tears and say I beat him.)
Now we both gang up against our parents. Damn funny that boy.
Just now in the shower, when I thought of the fact that he would be enlisting soon, I burst into tears. (At this point Weili would say I 感情泛滥 again.)
I'm really really glad that now, we are finally on good terms.
(But I just hope he can stop being so fucking stingy - borrow $20 also kaobei me whole day and night.)
I love Didi =)
***
Sibling Love
When I was born, everyone doted on me.
I was (and still am) my parents' first child.
I was my paternal grandparents' first grandchild.
I was a large, bubbly and gurgling baby (ok I made this up - how would I know?!), and although I was a handful, I also made my parents' day.
But.
Being a first child meant I was a guinea pig to my parents' parenting skills to.
Nonetheless, I was the gem of the family (very likely it was because there was no one else for the family to coo over).
I basked in the attention for 4 years.
When I learnt to walk, almost daily, my Ye Ye would go over to my place at Tampines and bring me kiddy-riding.
You know, those rides (kok-kok-beh) that move forward and back while the irritating children songs played repetitively after you slotted in 20c (now is $1).
For those who know where Tampines Blk 201 is, you would know it's somehow a circular concept. My Ye Ye would let me sit on each and every kiddy ride we went past, and after we complete the cycle (say clockwise), he would let me sit again, now anti-clockwise.
My mama would dressed me in the cutest dresses (yes I wore dresses back then) and parade me proudly.
My daddy would fly me up into the air and tickle me (irritatingly) with his stubble.
My aunts would coo over me and buy me toys.
Even strangers would ask to take photos with me.
When I was 4 years old, just started nursery, my mama would go with me on the school bus, giving me 濱濱米果, which I grew to love, even till now.
Yes. I was given THAT kind of attention.
So naturally, I grew into a little brat, and thought that such princessy treatment would last forever.
Good things don't last, do they?
When I was 4 years old, one stormy night, my Ah Ma and cousin came over to stay with me. I didn't know what happened, only that my mama (completed with her big tummy) and daddy went out, but I was quite contented because I was (surprisingly) allowed to play TV games all night long, when usually I wasn't supposed to.
Little did I know, what was to happen over the next few days would change my life forever.
My mama came home with a screaming bundle - my new didi.
I have recollections of going to this orangey-lit clinic with my parents, but for what I didn't know.
I was too young to understand anyway.
From then on, everything changed.
Although to be fair, my parents still treated me the same, but they were also very busy with the new baby.
Everyone who came over cooed at the baby.
I wouldn't say I was neglected, since I cannot really remember anyway, but I know, because of this new addition to the family, caused much anguish to me in the coming years.
While we both grew up, my immense dislike for Didi increased at an alarming rate. Even when I was 5 years old, I had plans to "flush him down the toilet".
I intentionally did things to divert attention to myself.
I poked him, I beat him, I pinched him, I made him cry, I did everything.
Only to have things backfire on me time and time again.
The more I did, the more people showered attention on poor innocent lil' Didi.
The more I did, the more I got scolded, the more Didi get cooed over.
The sibling rivalry grew more and more intensified when Didi started school.
Each time I made him cry, my mama would cane me. While I was howling away, Didi would stand in a corner, widen his teary super big eyes, and ask innocently, "Mama.. why you beat Jiejie?" *big angelic eyes*
Which only set out to make me feel even more hatred towards him, to the extent I started hatching little plans to hurt him.
I did so many things to him I cannot remember, but the one incident that really made me scared, was the time I shoved him intentionally against this rather short rosewood cabinet, about Didi's height.
Didi knocked against the corner of the cabinet, and his eye started bleeding.
Mama and Ah Ma rushed him to the doctor (not before scolding me, of course), and the doctor said if it was 1cm nearer, he would have gone blind.
I was so scared and guilty, I cannot even begin describe it now. (Even now, each time I see the scar on his eyelid, I feel immense guilt.)
I don't think I need to explain what happened to me after my parents came home, even though they were consoled by the doctor that everything was fine.
I was guilty, but I was also angry that Didi got more attention than ever, with my parents blatantly showing that they were protecting him from me.
There was also this time when Didi was about 6 years old I think, and he scolded me with a chao cheebye. I duly shouted and complained to my mama, who didn't believe a word I said. (He learnt it earlier during the day, when my Ah Ma shouted that at my house.)
I got scolded again for "lying", because no one believed the angelic boy would do such a thing. Indignant, maligned, angry, I carried out my "revenge" again - whacking him till he cried, which served no purpose because I got caned, yet again.
Throughout the whole of primary school, I kept my distance from him, and I had a totally rocky relationship with my parents.
Each time I whacked him, he would go cry to my mama, who would in turn cane me, and she would start going hysterical and quarrel with my daddy 'cos of me, and the next day she would yell at me and said it was my fault that I caused them to quarrel, and if they were to divorce she would definitely bring Didi with her and go away. I would feel so scared and beg her to stay. The vicious cycle repeats.
I was constantly threatened by her, that she would bring Didi instead of me. That caused my paranoia and insecurity, which stayed on with me even till now, and it finally took its toll on my latest relationship.
My insecurity was largely caused by the mindset that, even my mother don't want me, who else is obliged to want me? And I managed to convince and brainwash myself that ultimately everyone would leave me because I was a bad girl and I was not good enough for anyone (thus succeeding in pushing my ex away from me too).
In a bid to get my parents' attention back again, I did things to get attention. Attention I did get - but all the wrong ones.
I stole. I let my school work slip. I kicked my friend in the stomach. I further beat up Didi at every chance I got.
All that angst in a primary school girl.
I was from EM1, and back then, it was a big thing to be in the EM1 stream.
But my PSLE was only 239. The second lowest in my class.
Because I had slacked, and in the end, I wasn't able to catch up.
I knew my parents were disappointed. I have failed them yet again.
On the other hand, Didi excelled in school every year.
He was in a respectable school. He was a school prefect. He was first in class every year. He was first in level every year. He was awarded all sorts of book prizes. His report book always reflected good comments from teachers. His results was always perfect.
All of which, all the more contrasted the "failure" I was.
Needless to say, I grew repulsive to him even more.
*
*
*
It was until he started Sec 3, when somehow he changed.
By then, I had also started my Poly Year 3.
Somehow, we started to see eye to eye.
In the past, all the comments I gave him, he would retort that he thought my comments were useless.
But one fine day, I found a bottle of deodorant on his table, after years of telling him boys need deodorant 'cos they generally stink, and girls don't like stinky boys.
And slowly, I began to realise he really did take my opinions into consideration, though he did so quietly.
Which really touched me. Really.
If you are so patient as to have continued reading up till now, you must be wondering what sparked off such an entry.
Ironically, it was a very very small thing that unlocked the gate of emotions within me.
Just before dinner, Didi and I went to have our spectacles made.
He was choosing his frames, I was choosing mine.
The optician took out a few frames for him, and I kept throwing my opinions at him, while my mama kept telling me to shut up and let him choose.
Each time he chose a frame which he thought was OK, I told him what I didn't like about it.
Until I saw this pair of Levis frames and asked him to try it on.
Instantly, I told him it was the nicest, and it really suited him. I had expected him to say "SIAO. Branded leh!" and put it back.
Didi was never one to go crazy about brands (he is price conscious like an aunty).
He totally threw me off the orbit when he grinned loonily at himself in the mirror and said, "Yah. Nice. Ok lor. I take this one."
The optician gawked and said hesitatingly, "Erm.. this one really new arrival leh. Arrived last night only. Total would be $240 leh. You sure?"
He grinned again and said cheekily, "Yah. My mama will pay." and proceeded to check his eyes and all. (I chose a maroon frame from Levis too. Teehee.) And, I stress once again, is totally surprising because Didi was ALWAYS very anal about money, and he never fails to chastise me whenever I spent on things.
That's all. That's what made me so emotional. I was thinking about it in the shower and I burst into tears. It's like my brother actually (and finally) values my opinions.
I feel warm and fuzzy.
And I mentioned how he would always somehow cause me to be scolded or caned by my mama right? (One fine day he even learnt the fucked up way of causing me to be scolded - like when I knock into him purely accidentally, he burst into tears and say I beat him.)
Now we both gang up against our parents. Damn funny that boy.
Just now in the shower, when I thought of the fact that he would be enlisting soon, I burst into tears. (At this point Weili would say I 感情泛滥 again.)
I'm really really glad that now, we are finally on good terms.
(But I just hope he can stop being so fucking stingy - borrow $20 also kaobei me whole day and night.)
I love Didi =)
thanks to my jiemei jessica and buddy angelia for tagging! haha.. anw, serene so poor thing! lost her hp.. right in front of our eyes!! dun brood over it already k?? =)
anw cos of her hp lost i accompany her to the police station to make a report.. hhaa.. first time i went to a police station..
but anyways, today is the start of the orientation for school of IT.. in the morn when i come, there are tonnes of people at the atrium. queueing.. so very reminds me of that time when i was a freshie first into nyp! bu zhi bu jue i am going to be year 3 in jus matters of weeks! so much have been gone thru in nyp.. i lost alot of things.. lost precious times... lost "friends".. but after i came into attachments i do made a few of them whom i can talk to one la.. so.. i just have to be more positive and brave through the rest of my one year here! going to be back to lessons already.. a bit 手足无措。我有一点不知道要用怎么样的态度和反映面对他们。 船到桥头自然直吧.. 反正该来的就会来，躲也躲不了！
anw cos of her hp lost i accompany her to the police station to make a report.. hhaa.. first time i went to a police station..
but anyways, today is the start of the orientation for school of IT.. in the morn when i come, there are tonnes of people at the atrium. queueing.. so very reminds me of that time when i was a freshie first into nyp! bu zhi bu jue i am going to be year 3 in jus matters of weeks! so much have been gone thru in nyp.. i lost alot of things.. lost precious times... lost "friends".. but after i came into attachments i do made a few of them whom i can talk to one la.. so.. i just have to be more positive and brave through the rest of my one year here! going to be back to lessons already.. a bit 手足无措。我有一点不知道要用怎么样的态度和反映面对他们。 船到桥头自然直吧.. 反正该来的就会来，躲也躲不了！
i got myself a new skin! and also a new tag board.. hhaha the old one too difficult to use already always hang.. so please leave comments now! haha..
jus now after i posted the previous post.. i emailed the author of the quotes and he replied! haha.. i was quite surprised and happy at the same time.. the thrill of knowing wad u have said is heard.. lol.. and being someone who is busy he still takes time to reply to someone whom he doesnt even noe! quite sad huh.. cos maybe some that i tot i am close with doesnt even listens.. but anw thanks to junli for replying! hee..
jus now after i posted the previous post.. i emailed the author of the quotes and he replied! haha.. i was quite surprised and happy at the same time.. the thrill of knowing wad u have said is heard.. lol.. and being someone who is busy he still takes time to reply to someone whom he doesnt even noe! quite sad huh.. cos maybe some that i tot i am close with doesnt even listens.. but anw thanks to junli for replying! hee..
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
again i see this blog that the writer writes super nice articles!! cant help but really want to 引述 some parts here..
"最近的生活，寂寞多了一点。有时真的有好多话想跟一个人说，但是就是找不到那个人。也不知道这个人是谁。"
***
"有时候觉得自己就像是一个小丑。尽力地去帮一些朋友争取，烦恼，到头来，却发现他们只是表面地敷衍你，其实心里一点也不在意。
那你为什么不早说？这样我也不必浪费时间。
所以，帮人尽力就好。我也不想浪费时间了。这段友谊。。。好肤浅啊。"
***
" 真的那么难吗?
真的好感慨, 为什么自己总是与知心好友...擦身而过.
今天所将分享的一切...不是这几个星期所产生的想法. 一直以来, 都秉持着这些观念, 直到今天...才有空把它写出来.
从小， 我都想拥有两个好朋友． 一个是和我步入教堂的另一半， 我的新娘． 另一个是走在我身旁的好友，我的伴郎．
以 前, 我是一个很重情的人. 可是经过几段较令人失望的友谊与感情...自己也有点疲累了. 不是绝望， 而是．．．不想再次主动了．因为每次的结局．．．似乎都是一样的．好几段友谊与感情都是这样了. 曾经朝夕问候．．．曾经互相依靠．．．曾经的轰轰烈烈．．．曾经的长相私守．．．
那都是．．．曾经．
到最后，大家真的变成最熟悉的陌生人．好恐怖对不对？有时想起曾经与对方说的话，我很不经意地问我自己．．．那份感觉真的存在过吗？ 怎么．．．我现在一点感觉也没有呢？我曾经那么深爱过她吗？怎么现在看见她握别人的手．．．自己一点感觉都没有呢？
经过这么多次的尝试, 我真的越来越容易选择放弃了. 你懂我的意思吗？ 好想麻醉自己的知觉．．．有时真想做个机器人．．．理智地分析一切．．．
我想．．．人类都想保护自己把？ 付出的越多， 要求越高．好多感情都是因为一点小事， 而闹得满城风雨吧？ 到了那个阶段，重要的已经不是解决当时的问题．过期的感情，或许是早期的自私而造成的吧．
任何的感情, 都是最高风险的投资.
可是, 不投资感情...这一切的筹码...还有价值吗?
爱情．．．可是最锋利的武器．．．也可以是最滋润人心的一切．我想．．．我还是无私一点好吧． "
***
this guy really writes quite well wor.. i learnt alot from his words.. seeing his blog is like reading a column.. and i am a frequent reader! haha.. =） share with me if u have any views!
"最近的生活，寂寞多了一点。有时真的有好多话想跟一个人说，但是就是找不到那个人。也不知道这个人是谁。"
***
"有时候觉得自己就像是一个小丑。尽力地去帮一些朋友争取，烦恼，到头来，却发现他们只是表面地敷衍你，其实心里一点也不在意。
那你为什么不早说？这样我也不必浪费时间。
所以，帮人尽力就好。我也不想浪费时间了。这段友谊。。。好肤浅啊。"
***
" 真的那么难吗?
真的好感慨, 为什么自己总是与知心好友...擦身而过.
今天所将分享的一切...不是这几个星期所产生的想法. 一直以来, 都秉持着这些观念, 直到今天...才有空把它写出来.
从小， 我都想拥有两个好朋友． 一个是和我步入教堂的另一半， 我的新娘． 另一个是走在我身旁的好友，我的伴郎．
以 前, 我是一个很重情的人. 可是经过几段较令人失望的友谊与感情...自己也有点疲累了. 不是绝望， 而是．．．不想再次主动了．因为每次的结局．．．似乎都是一样的．好几段友谊与感情都是这样了. 曾经朝夕问候．．．曾经互相依靠．．．曾经的轰轰烈烈．．．曾经的长相私守．．．
那都是．．．曾经．
到最后，大家真的变成最熟悉的陌生人．好恐怖对不对？有时想起曾经与对方说的话，我很不经意地问我自己．．．那份感觉真的存在过吗？ 怎么．．．我现在一点感觉也没有呢？我曾经那么深爱过她吗？怎么现在看见她握别人的手．．．自己一点感觉都没有呢？
经过这么多次的尝试, 我真的越来越容易选择放弃了. 你懂我的意思吗？ 好想麻醉自己的知觉．．．有时真想做个机器人．．．理智地分析一切．．．
我想．．．人类都想保护自己把？ 付出的越多， 要求越高．好多感情都是因为一点小事， 而闹得满城风雨吧？ 到了那个阶段，重要的已经不是解决当时的问题．过期的感情，或许是早期的自私而造成的吧．
任何的感情, 都是最高风险的投资.
可是, 不投资感情...这一切的筹码...还有价值吗?
爱情．．．可是最锋利的武器．．．也可以是最滋润人心的一切．我想．．．我还是无私一点好吧． "
***
this guy really writes quite well wor.. i learnt alot from his words.. seeing his blog is like reading a column.. and i am a frequent reader! haha.. =） share with me if u have any views!
last nite is the last episode of the campus superstar liao.. haha.. after catching it for 4 months it has came to an end.. still remember that time with ser ser, shaune and zibin go bishan see them at the initial stages.. haha..
at the end all of them cried.. cos it has came to an end and everyone will be going their own different ways.. even thou efforts will be made to maintain.. the feeling will slowly be different.. cos they wun be together so much already..
then after crying the finale.. they sang a happy song and all of them sang happily again..
well this is the pure and sincerity in the kids in them ba.. that makes these youths so jovial and special.. enjoying every moment in the things they are doing.. well some people says that they are too emotional and crying.. but i think its quite logical in this kind of shows lor.. youths like to make friends and they are very easily bonded in this kind of activities.. a group of them all with the same interest.. and when they proceed further down the competition they have to see their friends, one by one, being eliminated out of the competition.. thats very cruel.. and i think they are really strong to be able to take it so many stages.. haha..
remembered i was like that too... but i think i have passed that phrase already.. no longer got the drive to pursue my dreams so warmly.. i really missed those younger days.. maybe my life has a part to shape me to this stage also.. but i hope that one day i can find back the passion and drive in my life.. haha.. i feel so old when i see these energetic kids! and i am young too so i should have more drive!!! lol!
at the end all of them cried.. cos it has came to an end and everyone will be going their own different ways.. even thou efforts will be made to maintain.. the feeling will slowly be different.. cos they wun be together so much already..
then after crying the finale.. they sang a happy song and all of them sang happily again..
well this is the pure and sincerity in the kids in them ba.. that makes these youths so jovial and special.. enjoying every moment in the things they are doing.. well some people says that they are too emotional and crying.. but i think its quite logical in this kind of shows lor.. youths like to make friends and they are very easily bonded in this kind of activities.. a group of them all with the same interest.. and when they proceed further down the competition they have to see their friends, one by one, being eliminated out of the competition.. thats very cruel.. and i think they are really strong to be able to take it so many stages.. haha..
remembered i was like that too... but i think i have passed that phrase already.. no longer got the drive to pursue my dreams so warmly.. i really missed those younger days.. maybe my life has a part to shape me to this stage also.. but i hope that one day i can find back the passion and drive in my life.. haha.. i feel so old when i see these energetic kids! and i am young too so i should have more drive!!! lol!
Sunday, April 02, 2006
i am back! haha.. for the past one week its my block leave and i was away to china for exhibition! hehe..
and special thanks to..
father - for sponsoring the trip and giving me this exposure to the real international business world.
mother - for all the worrying bout me and make me feel loved.. haha!
sister - for finally realising my importance in home.. well even if its only when there is no one to throw rubbish.. haha..
anthony - for going through all the trouble for my air ticket! hehe =)
angelia, mabel, zibin, serene, weihao, ben - for remembering i am going and wished me bon voyage!
well alot of things happened during this trip and some wu liao people did made my day not very nice.. like the scary pig brain/liver/kidney steamboat and those wines and liquors those people try to stuff me with.. sighs.. really hate to help entertain those people but wad to do? lifes always doesnt have a choice.. but there are also the nice food and things to shop shop for me! quite enjoyed..
a lot of birthdays coming!
31-mar Angel
3-apr Michelle and Zul
17-apr Jenn
18-apr Gary
Happy birthday to u guys!
and special thanks to..
father - for sponsoring the trip and giving me this exposure to the real international business world.
mother - for all the worrying bout me and make me feel loved.. haha!
sister - for finally realising my importance in home.. well even if its only when there is no one to throw rubbish.. haha..
anthony - for going through all the trouble for my air ticket! hehe =)
angelia, mabel, zibin, serene, weihao, ben - for remembering i am going and wished me bon voyage!
well alot of things happened during this trip and some wu liao people did made my day not very nice.. like the scary pig brain/liver/kidney steamboat and those wines and liquors those people try to stuff me with.. sighs.. really hate to help entertain those people but wad to do? lifes always doesnt have a choice.. but there are also the nice food and things to shop shop for me! quite enjoyed..
a lot of birthdays coming!
31-mar Angel
3-apr Michelle and Zul
17-apr Jenn
18-apr Gary
Happy birthday to u guys!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
| You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish |
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
last time i saw someone's blog about friendster.. this person loves to surf people's friendster accounts.. but one day he saw that his buddy's account don't even has a foto of him.. not even a group one.. he is so disappointed..
yea this is more or less the story..
well that time i din really understood that feeling cos it has never occured to me.. but then now i more or less know how it felt.. hee.. not a good one.. but well..
yea this is more or less the story..
well that time i din really understood that feeling cos it has never occured to me.. but then now i more or less know how it felt.. hee.. not a good one.. but well..
wah i jus saw serX2's i weekly and there is this comment from a reader that i bloody agree with.. haha.. anw its in chinese so encode to unicode if wanna see!
"《校园superstar》 让我不禁怀疑评审制度。XXX近期表现有一点退步，挑战快歌时，声音沙哑，整体表现差强人意。评判却以： 快歌不是她/他的强项， 继续给予高分。整体表现不错的，评审就吹毛求疵地挑剔他/她们出场时的小毛病。评判一再地替失水准的人找借口，而该鼓励的又不鼓励。是评判偏心，还是他们的观点太特别？”
"《校园superstar》 让我不禁怀疑评审制度。XXX近期表现有一点退步，挑战快歌时，声音沙哑，整体表现差强人意。评判却以： 快歌不是她/他的强项， 继续给予高分。整体表现不错的，评审就吹毛求疵地挑剔他/她们出场时的小毛病。评判一再地替失水准的人找借口，而该鼓励的又不鼓励。是评判偏心，还是他们的观点太特别？”
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
bahz~! jus finished presentation for mmD! toopid flash... and the wrong person i present too.. din even really see my flash and all she do is frown when i am presenting.. all the way k! i am one of the first few to present liao still lidat.. cant imagine those at the back how.. cos my english too broken issit? dotz~
anyway i am damn happy how cos flash is finally over! already din sleep a few days to do it already.. and think it wastes my efforts lor.. sighsighs.. can pass can liao la i already dun ask for much more...
last nite went out makan with yy and yh. there i saw angel at bishan.. muahaha.. din see her long liao.. then after some talk went back to eating.. then silly yh go and topple the tray and it dropped on the floor!! so loud hor so malu.. muahhahha.. me and yy laugh till dunno how to paiseh.. haha..
last sat also went out for small makan for benben birthday.. and they ate at thai express while i didnt.. and after that its dessert at swensons!
so fast its week 5 liao.. nex week i will not be around cos of block leave and the week after next when i am back, its week 7. so freaking fast can!!! and my dear tep is ending soon.. so sad.. muahaha.. cherish.. wad the little is left now.. for it may be gone forever once it has passed.. =)
anyway i am damn happy how cos flash is finally over! already din sleep a few days to do it already.. and think it wastes my efforts lor.. sighsighs.. can pass can liao la i already dun ask for much more...
last nite went out makan with yy and yh. there i saw angel at bishan.. muahaha.. din see her long liao.. then after some talk went back to eating.. then silly yh go and topple the tray and it dropped on the floor!! so loud hor so malu.. muahhahha.. me and yy laugh till dunno how to paiseh.. haha..
last sat also went out for small makan for benben birthday.. and they ate at thai express while i didnt.. and after that its dessert at swensons!
so fast its week 5 liao.. nex week i will not be around cos of block leave and the week after next when i am back, its week 7. so freaking fast can!!! and my dear tep is ending soon.. so sad.. muahaha.. cherish.. wad the little is left now.. for it may be gone forever once it has passed.. =)
Sunday, March 19, 2006
“the time must come to say goodbye, because nothing can live forever."
***
has been seeing alot of meaningful phrases my friends use as their nick.. one such above is from a sec sch fren.. serser's is also nice..
"小花朝气蓬勃地生长，只为获得更美好的阳光；小时候的我也希望快点长大， 但现在的我只想回到过去。。。"
谁不想。。回到那单纯的过去。。无忧无虑，简简单单。。？
PS: encode to unicode to see the chinese words..
***
has been seeing alot of meaningful phrases my friends use as their nick.. one such above is from a sec sch fren.. serser's is also nice..
"小花朝气蓬勃地生长，只为获得更美好的阳光；小时候的我也希望快点长大， 但现在的我只想回到过去。。。"
谁不想。。回到那单纯的过去。。无忧无虑，简简单单。。？
PS: encode to unicode to see the chinese words..
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
i think by now everyone around me would be freaked out by the word flash... haha.. all thanks to MMD ica.. personally i am very pek cek this morn cos there is alot of prob! eg. mask dun want to appear. words moves the wrong place. all sorts of nonsense. i nearly threw the com down from fsrc window. haha.. but again.. everyone is having the same old trouble.. so i shouldnt be so bothered.. haha.. must complete by this week cos its due on mon. summary and ps reports to be out soon cos its due after my block leave. project for fsrc. alot of stupid deadlines to meet!! sian.. but at the same time i find it quite challenging to run against time.. haha.. crazy me!!!
havent fall asleep in the bus till i miss a stop for a long time liao.. since tep starts havent yet.. but yesterday i missed the school stop and only woke up when the bus reaches amk interchange.. go home time also miss and today go home time again miss! sigh.. night night must sleep earlier wor.. i think i jus dun have enough sleep.. haha..
anw, mon was campus superstar.. so sian. very disappointed in who is eliminated. cos i think khim and yuyang is very good. for khim its very consistent that she sings well.. and for yuyang thou at first not really good, but i think he has improved alot!! since he sang feng i think he good liao lo.. but too bad he is out.. on the other hand i think that this round adriano and clara should be out.. clara i long long hope she is out liao cos i really think her voice weak lor.. and adriano.. at first i think he not bad too one.. but after that i feel he got abit pretentous.. abit act cute.. some of my friends think that his "cannot find the cam" look very cute.. but i am just wondering.. how come so many months of fliming liao.. still have so much difficulties to locate the machine EVERYTIME? but no doubt his singing is quite well la.. thou the last round i think he got try to cheat lor.. its suppose to be wu qu=u dance. but i see him like jump here jump there only.. not dancing.. well jus opinions la.. so ser ser weiling and shaune please dun be angry k? haha..
actually i dun really like this kinda shows.. cos think its not really fair la.. those really can sing ones out.. so far those i support their singing are khim, kenneth, yuyang, yvonne and one of the twins but i scared quote the wrong name so dun say which one. haha. i think kenneth most ke xi one lor so early out.. i think the revival he did well too.. but like i say too bad! but mum likes him too.. haha.. so maybe nex time you yuan he can sing for people again la! haha..
anw, mon was campus superstar.. so sian. very disappointed in who is eliminated. cos i think khim and yuyang is very good. for khim its very consistent that she sings well.. and for yuyang thou at first not really good, but i think he has improved alot!! since he sang feng i think he good liao lo.. but too bad he is out.. on the other hand i think that this round adriano and clara should be out.. clara i long long hope she is out liao cos i really think her voice weak lor.. and adriano.. at first i think he not bad too one.. but after that i feel he got abit pretentous.. abit act cute.. some of my friends think that his "cannot find the cam" look very cute.. but i am just wondering.. how come so many months of fliming liao.. still have so much difficulties to locate the machine EVERYTIME? but no doubt his singing is quite well la.. thou the last round i think he got try to cheat lor.. its suppose to be wu qu=u dance. but i see him like jump here jump there only.. not dancing.. well jus opinions la.. so ser ser weiling and shaune please dun be angry k? haha..
actually i dun really like this kinda shows.. cos think its not really fair la.. those really can sing ones out.. so far those i support their singing are khim, kenneth, yuyang, yvonne and one of the twins but i scared quote the wrong name so dun say which one. haha. i think kenneth most ke xi one lor so early out.. i think the revival he did well too.. but like i say too bad! but mum likes him too.. haha.. so maybe nex time you yuan he can sing for people again la! haha..
Thursday, March 09, 2006
i got my grades for msc yesterday.. wad can i say.. quite disappointed ba..
cos i think all of us shd have a guage how much effort we have put in in everything we all do.. and thru my personal guage, i think i MAY get something a bit higher ba.. but the fact turns out to be otherwise..
i am not bothered by the grade. i am not sad. ok with it.. cos i think everyone thinks a diff way.. wad i think i did alot may be otherwise to others. so now, i think i have done what i think is correct ba.. i think i have did my personally best.. and i will look into the comments on my and change to a better person! *sounds quite complicated*
in short, i accept the comments on me and i will change for a better me!
so sad.. cos 2 days ago i made some one angry. and that person doesnt want to talk to me now.. wad to do wad to do??? yuan liang wo ba.. dun think he will see this post cos dun think he sees my blog.. haha.. but truely apologetic..
cos i think all of us shd have a guage how much effort we have put in in everything we all do.. and thru my personal guage, i think i MAY get something a bit higher ba.. but the fact turns out to be otherwise..
i am not bothered by the grade. i am not sad. ok with it.. cos i think everyone thinks a diff way.. wad i think i did alot may be otherwise to others. so now, i think i have done what i think is correct ba.. i think i have did my personally best.. and i will look into the comments on my and change to a better person! *sounds quite complicated*
in short, i accept the comments on me and i will change for a better me!
so sad.. cos 2 days ago i made some one angry. and that person doesnt want to talk to me now.. wad to do wad to do??? yuan liang wo ba.. dun think he will see this post cos dun think he sees my blog.. haha.. but truely apologetic..
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
i think i am having big problems recently
i cant find the meaning of me being around
i keep on having this feeling that i am lost.. cant find my way ard in life
i cant find the recognition of my self that i need to have the confidence
cant find wad makes me worth to be around...
did alot of things. but nothing seems right.
very tired.. wad if.. we can stay at the yesterdays that we so longed to.. where nothing really goes wrong..
wad if..
i cant find the meaning of me being around
i keep on having this feeling that i am lost.. cant find my way ard in life
i cant find the recognition of my self that i need to have the confidence
cant find wad makes me worth to be around...
did alot of things. but nothing seems right.
very tired.. wad if.. we can stay at the yesterdays that we so longed to.. where nothing really goes wrong..
wad if..
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