Snap.

i think, everyone jus snapped from the super high tension. i dont mean to say those things to M, which i think was quite sarcastic of me. i am sorry. but i cant help but just feel like hanging half way there la. sighs.

its that sometimes i really get sick of working here cos it like so unappreciated. but after all, thats what real work life is. its business. its not the first time i am working, i also know perfectly that this is how the society works.. maybe i just need some time for the adjustment ba.. YP is rite. i am just a boy who has not grown up yet.

同事 · 朋友

知道M只是在开玩笑，但只是听到她这么说，it gets me into deep thoughts。

我们不是朋友，只是同事。

说者或许只是开玩笑，但其实听者会觉得满sad 的。i mean, ok la i can understand the reality of this society.. that colleagues should not cross the line of being friends.. but well, after all working together might result in a situation where you see these colleagues more than you see everyone else- ur family, classmates, friends. since then why cannot be friends? i don't understand.

havent been into contact with the classmates since grad.. suddenly, i found out that i have turned exactly like them- only knowing how they are thru their blog, jus like how they know how i am through my blog.

its saddening. i knew it would come. just that, i didnt expect it to come so quickly. comm'on whats wrong with this world man. this is making me sick. and want to escape all these..

我要旅游！！

1. I really want: to be the jovial and careless and funny and expressive and talkative and driven KK I used to be. I really want to be less morbid, cynical and skeptical. I want to be optimistic and loving and hopeful.

*****

2. i find that its easier to blog in point form. haha! but its kind of "unprofessional" la. will see how and then adjust my blogging habits accordingly.

3. YP's last day today, one less temp staff here. soon me will be gone too! work is kind of over the load. "beyond my capabilities" is the word. not that i am not capable, bbut how to expect me to cover work of two person! =X

4. thinking of going to sentosa. any takers?

5. just saw today's paper, there is discount on tics to taipei! O.M.G.

璀璨 · 失落

渐渐的，我才明白为什么大家那么爱看烟火表演

因为在暗暗的夜空中，突然光芒四射的那瞬间

其实真的很美

就像五颜六色的流星迫不及待地要将你所有梦想都实现

而如果伴你身边的是你的挚爱

其实真的会很浪漫的

quoted Adrenalynne.

I Can't Communicate.

the difficulty to communicate with father is always there. its like something that just a thin membrane, but no matter how hard we try, its still there.

and this is making my life shit. things are not getting better and there is no solution to it. no even when we win 10million toto.. hais..

the connection is just not there. its just my fault for not being that kinda son that they want..

now playing: 张智成 - 很想你

1. i am f- bored. bored to the extend that i went to friendster and start to search around for people i know.. saw the profile of I and W. haha. the eye candy of YP! *YP better stop calling me stalker of blogs and friendster.. i is just pure bored la ok.

2. was reminded by Sandy that this coming weekend is the last fri of the month again- department lunch. it means i have to organise again.. and to my horror it also means aug is here! and sept is right after that. NS. -_-

not that i am afraid of ns. its just that i discovered i am totally unprepared and time left is very little. i better start jogging!!!!!


3. a few days ago mum was telling me about Gary. and NS. she reminded me that i need to bring those papers when i enlist. its lost. how ha?

4. met up with Gary last sat for gathering- da first after he enlist. the irony is that the botak recruit did not wear a cap, but i wore a beanie. LOL. caught Invisible Target, a show starring Nic Tse, Shawn Yue and Jaycee Chan. not bad a show! after that was tau huay and i went to his house for a while to chat and sorts.

5. usually i manage to catch the last train home from Gary's home. but this time i missed the last bus! jus sian la.. in order to save the cab fare i decided to take another last train to serangoon. called sammy to ask if he wanna meet supper, since i already has to take midnight cab. makes no diff in how much longer i stayed right?

sam couldnt meet for supper. however he offered to give me a lift home.. how nice of him! kind of missed the days in school where we hang out like almost everyday.. life seems to have like missed some pieces without the people so constantly being around..

6. just before i alight the car, it was the usual shake and hug bye we do. 933 was our best friend and it played 很想你 by 张智成 at that very moment.

7. now playing: 张智成 - 很想你




你在哪里 这些年来如意不如意
还快乐 还单纯 还美丽
时光如何对你

我在这里人海中的一座岛屿
很平静风平浪静
只除了深夜里回忆会疯狂来袭

我很想你 你知道吗
如果可以就让我再见你
美好微笑清澈眼睛
好确定那持离只毁了我 一个而已

我在哪里?你会不会偶尔好奇?
有没有曾经怀疑?
我说我会忘记只是种好意

我很想你 听见了吗
这是唯一我无解的困境
那些过去不肯过去
不管我后来遇见多少人
只能叹息
都不是你
我只想爱你

Horoscope today.

This could be a day when people are expressing themselves in strong ways, Kelvin kho. Some people might let their anger come out. Others might become critical with their language. If any of this negativity is aimed your way, try to duck! It's not your responsibility to be an emotional caretaker or baby-sitter to people's mood swings. Demand that colleagues approach you in a professional manner, and don't indulge anyone who isn't rational in their tone.





wallaos. damn true. hoho.. i've got that feeling!!!

Horoscope today.

You are a very self-sufficient person, Kelvin kho, and you don't always trust other people with your true thoughts and concerns. Sometimes it's good to humble yourself and just be human. Let someone new into your life today and open up to them. Or maybe dare to get a little closer with someone who might only know you on a superficial level. You are due to make a new friend soon, and this person will add much to your life.


wa. like real. dunno true or not.

breakdown

the second day that is low in productivity. yesterday morning, there is a power break down at the govt data center. all net access and lotus email access were cut off. access did not come back even when i am knocking off at 6 plus..

net access is back today but theres something wrong in the email. all my mails are gone and there is actually quite alot of impt info i stored there.. =(

sianz.. not that i am itching for work but its just pure rotting here when theres nothing to do.. nothing much to surf too and surfing blogs will make yuping and the rest say i am a STALKER!!! haha..

ok enough of the boring stuff..

lunch was at komalas yesterday! i havent been there for a long long time.. but my first attempt there was with the FNN class.. and that already like 4 plus yrs ago!! food was ok only la.. but at least get to eat something diff from the food courts that i have been eating like for how many months liao. had the poori briyani.. big serving lor.. the poori is not bad..

*****

1144hrs

kb. fed up lor. some people jus know how to chao keng. everything also say dont know. like just dont come and work like might as well stay at home. its not that i have not taught how to do it before. bad moodie. i hope she dont come and step on my toes right now.

*****

dont exactly feel welcomed or wanted. like so out of place. i wanna go... =(

15 more mins, lunch here i come!

*****

updates 1435hrs:

on news!

now playing: 蔡依林 - 你还爱我吗

夜里传来雨的声音
轻轻拨动心的旋律
情不自禁想起你
那些甜蜜的回忆
总是不小心就淋湿了我的眼睛
爱情需要一些呼吸
偶尔保持一点距离
回到朋友的关系
任你自由的来去
从此想念你只能放在我心里

你还爱我吗
一直好想问你这句话
却又怕听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗
为何你总是不说话
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎
你爱我吗
好久没有你的消息
心里还惦记着你

在这冷冷的夜里
感觉那么的熟悉
好想再见你想听听你的声音
感情的路总让人好无助
我会学着面对独处
给深爱的你祝福

oh
一直好想问你这句话
却又怕听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗
这是我唯一的牵挂
不管你会有什么回答
我会一直等你
你还爱我吗

Passive Vs Assertive.

to those people, i was passive. i kept thinking that if i try to make the effort, the friendship can go on.

now, i am more like assertive. cos i have had enough of those un-replied sms-es and calls.




bye bye. thanks for once being there.

Graduated: Class of 2007

06 07 07, the day i GRADUATED! a day full of mixed feeling. a place i so damned wanna get out when i was in there, a place i so wanna get back to when i am outta it. met a lot of familiar faces, including the lecturers, frens, tep mates, and many people. having gotten so used to a life where i see them everyday, it does make me miss them alot, even thou it is just a short 5 month since we are done with the exams.

A multimedia video the MS students made is shown at the start of the grad, is quite impressive lor. i like it- simple, nice, brings back lots of sweet memories. it reminds me of the three years here.. the ceremony is ok, something i had not been to before. thank god that rena is sitting next to me!!! if not i will die of boredom.. not a long wait before its finally my turn to go up.. saw steven lee and also miss ang.. the short chat with her jus before i go out onto the stage managed to calm me down slightly..

Anw, i think i blurly strided to the centre stage, but deep in my mind i am walking a lil more carefully in order not to fall flat or trip on the carpet or gown, making the myself the biggest joke of my life! haha. in the end, dad says i was too blur that i was not facing the right side when i am accepting the empty folder. and he also says my head is very big. -_-"

Proceeded for reception after the ceremony. flew to find my family and friends, ready to take tonnes of photos! Thats the only interesting thing i’m looking forward to.. the food at the recep was pathetically ok~ took more photos before leaving that place.



*****


Sidenote: The moment I stood on stage waiting to receive the damned cert i worked hard for 3 years to get it, the thoughts and playbacks crammed my mind. Lots of thots in fact. but the one question that stayed afloat:

I graduated. Are my parents proud?

Studies hasnt been smooth for me since sec sch. i will never forget that day where i failed my math exam. that my parents are called to sch. and the words that my dad said to me.. Jus hope that today has made up for it la! =)

now playing: 周杰伦 - 不能说的秘密

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面

拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 oh
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

quotes: from DTF

...我只知道，当时抱着志聪的我，虽然很努力地不去回想5年前的一个下午，但还是失败了。那天，一个穿着深蓝色衬衫、戴着眼镜的男孩，亲手送了一盒来自瑞士的巧克力给我。

lets welcome.

mr 作文簿!!!

thats peter in his fav shirt. we call him 作文簿先生. very handsome right!

he adores doraemon like me too!!! he got that doraemon umbrella!! who says guys cant like cartoons?

Grouchy.

yet again.

as usual, i am grouchy over a hair cut. it did not turn out well, despite having to spend more at jean yip. hair cut aren't bad but i just don't like it when it looked like my hair hasn't been cut at all. worse- the stylist GEL my hair when its done. GEL. omfg. that thing has not gotten onto my hair since eons ago. even the xiao di who rinse my hair is laughing at me!!! the ending sentance he gave me is the best:

你是不是回家？ok 啦回家就不要緊。要出去就要重弄。

-_-

aarrgghh!!! sianzation. i was v tempted to try that hair style that i have not had the balls to try it for very long liao. should i should i???

*****

hais. life has reached yet another new low. there is absolutely nothing i am looking forward to right now. its kinda sad, that life is feeling quite meaningless. what is becoming of me...

*****

...and im gonna stick with u through this fight called LIFE!

If only.

nothing to type for this post. i just suddenly think of alot of if onlys.



people CAN say what they do not meant..
people CAN say nice things, just for the sake of saying it..




i was never in there.

愛 · 放手

該放手？不該放手？好多人都提出了看法。

說似容易，要付諸行動，談何容易？



其中的酸甜苦辣，除了當事人，又有誰能真正了解？跟著感覺走，其他人說的只能儅意見。

愛與不愛，在於自己。

REcap for the past week

sorry man i missed out posting for soo soo long!!! hais. wasn't in the mood to really do anything. work has been quite hectic but i aren't really in the mood. some things pending undone but i said i will finish it in a quite unrealistic time frame. dooms day man.

anyways, went to collect my grad robe, finally! last sat - the last day to collect - typical kk. pretty last min. haha. went with herry and saw loy there and also dilys. i wanna say sorry to loy cos i neglected him! haha.. but wells, i saw his gf. i am happy that my friends are finding the love that belongs to them!!! also chatted with dilys at mc, must go place in sch. talking about school, quite a few changes already in this short period of time i left school. Fj no more!! its now kou fu. -_- north canteen is also renovated. sighs.. 變是唯一的不變！

the day continues when i went to j8 to meet rena, yan and joey. i have not seen the darlings for sucha long time!!! went arcade siao and shopping ard before rena meets family and the couple goes to movie.

the rest of the day goes by rather mundane-ly. nothing much happened. yes life IS that boring. haha. i wonder what will happen when i really step into the working world after i finish serving ns. omfg. i dun even wanna think about it right now. haha.

oh yea. i fixed scv in my home. like finally. and after 2 days of non-stop-watching-tv-on-cable, i found out how deprived i have been of good tv show. screw those crap that mediacorp has been showing us! no wonder taiwan has a entertainment industry that is so prosperous. look at the programmes that they produce - quality entertainment variety shows. and they dun even need to have scary drag queens to scare the kids - yes i am referring to jack neo.

so, that is also another reason for the lack of post. am too engrossed in the shows. haha.

and to yuping - stop calling me auntie sha shou!
and to peter - thanks very much for sending me home todaY!
and to eugene - thanks for the teh c today!
and to sandy and connie - thanks for the cakes and tarts today!



oh yea! ahao, if u see this, i saw you at my work place today! yes designsingapore. i am working there. part time. hohoho.



goodnights!

蜻蜓 · 戀人

　　那是一個非常寧靜而美麗的小城﹐有一對非常恩愛的戀人﹐他們每天都去海邊看日出﹐晚上去海邊送夕陽﹐每個見過他們的人都向他們投來羨慕的目光……

　　可是有一天﹐在一場車禍中﹐女孩不幸受了重傷﹐她靜靜地躺在醫院的病床上﹐幾天幾夜都沒有醒過來。白天﹐男孩就守在床前不停地呼喚毫無知覺的戀人﹔晚上﹐他就跑到小城的教堂裡向上帝禱告﹐他已經哭乾了眼淚。


　　一個月過去了﹐女孩仍然昏睡著﹐而男孩早已憔悴不堪了﹐但他仍苦苦地支撐著。終於有一天﹐上帝被這個痴情的男孩感動了。於是他決定給這個執著的男孩一個例外。上帝問他﹕“你願意用自己的生命作為交換嗎﹖”男孩毫不猶豫地回答﹕“我願意﹗”上帝說﹕“那好吧﹐我可以讓你的戀人很快醒過來﹐但你要答應化作三年的蜻蜓﹐你願意嗎﹖”男孩聽了﹐還是堅定地回答道﹕“我願意﹗”


　　天亮了﹐男孩已經變成了一隻漂亮的蜻蜓﹐他告別了上帝便匆匆地飛到了醫院。女孩真的醒了﹐而且她還在跟身旁的一位醫生交談著什麼﹐可惜他聽不到。


　　幾天後﹐女孩便康復出院了﹐但是她並不快樂。她四處打聽著男孩的下落﹐但沒有人知道男孩究竟去了哪裡。女孩整天不停地尋找著﹐然而早已化身成蜻蜓的男孩卻無時無刻不圍繞在她身邊﹐只是他不會呼喊﹐不會擁抱﹐他只能默默地承受著她的視而不見。夏天過去了﹐秋天的涼風吹落了樹葉﹐蜻蜓不得不離開這裡。於是他最後一次飛落在女孩的肩上。他想用自己的翅膀撫摸她的臉﹐用細小的嘴來親吻她的額頭﹐然而他弱小的身體還是不足以被她發現。


　　轉眼間﹐春天來了﹐蜻蜓迫不及待地飛回來尋找自己的戀人。然而﹐她那熟悉的身影旁站著一個高大而英俊的男人﹐那一剎那﹐蜻蜓幾乎快從半空中墜落下來。人們講起車禍後女孩病得多麼的嚴重﹐描述著那名男醫生有多麼的善良﹑可愛﹐還描述著他們的愛情有多麼的理所當然﹐當然也描述了女孩已經快樂如從前。


　　蜻蜓傷心極了﹐在接下來的幾天中﹐他常常會看到那個男人帶著自己的戀人在海邊看日出﹐晚上又在海邊看日落﹐而他自己除了偶爾能停落在她的肩上以外﹐什麼也做不了。


　　這一年的夏天特別長﹐蜻蜓每天痛苦地低飛著﹐他已經沒有勇氣接近自己昔日的戀人。她和那男人之間的喃喃細語﹐他和她快樂的笑聲﹐都令他窒息。


　　第三年的夏天﹐蜻蜓已不再常常去看望自己的戀人了。她的肩被男醫生輕擁著﹐臉被男醫生輕輕地吻著﹐根本沒有時間去留意一隻傷心的蜻蜓﹐更沒有心情去懷唸過去。


　　上帝約定的三年期限很快就要到了。就在最後一天﹐蜻蜓昔日的戀人跟那個男醫生舉行了婚禮。
　　蜻蜓悄悄地飛進教堂﹐落在上帝的肩膀上﹐他聽到下面的戀人對上帝發誓說﹕我願意﹗他看著那個男醫生把戒指戴到昔日戀人的手上﹐然後看著他們甜蜜地親吻著。蜻蜓流下了傷心的淚水。


　　上帝嘆息著﹕“你後悔了嗎﹖”蜻蜓擦乾了眼淚﹕“沒有﹗”上帝又帶著一絲愉悅說﹕“那麼﹐明天你就可以變回你自己了。”蜻蜓搖了搖頭﹕“就讓我做一輩子蜻蜓吧……”






有些緣份是註定要失去的。愛一個人不一定要擁有﹐但擁有一個人就一定要好好去愛他。你的肩上有蜻蜓嗎﹖