一场欢喜一场空

讨厌那种满心期待后的失望。

when will my holiday ever come!!! :(

to my aunt who don't read my blog.

i flared today. i screamed at aunt.

i am quite guilty cos after all she is elder and its not very nice. but sometimes the things she do is really quite too much and this time round concerning my sister i have to talk it out to her. maybe, my approach is wrong.

i will use a better approach next time, my apologies...

solved.

sometimes i think that i need to just move to another place where no one knows me and start all over again.




maybe that will just solve all the problems.

小年夜。

今天是小年夜，再过没多久就是除夕了。


而我却到了现在都还在大扫除，真是临时抱佛脚啊！





其实过年是不错的。因为需要大扫除的时候，可以借机把一些平时丢不掉、割舍不了的东西，统统倒进垃圾桶里！:)

倒是老妈就别再唠叨啦！拜托拜托！现在不就打扫干净了嘛。。


在此先恭祝各位：

财源广进、身体健康、心想事成！

Said.

你可知道，说出去的话就有如覆水难收。

you can delete the things you've said, but you can't change the fact that you have said those words, nor can you reverse the damage caused.

Masquerade.

i've recently seen quite a few jokers being

very good 'actors' and 'actresses',

saying one thing and doing another.

只要 · 一个人就好

為什麼 越相信誰能依靠
越換來 又一次靈魂寂寥
有沒有永遠 再不會讓心絕望的解藥

High maintenance.

and so i realised, that sometimes 一面的一厢情愿 will usually land you in very sad situations.

like not getting the things/responses that you want.

and worse, you might even end up with people irritating/annoyed of you. and cos of what? not that you are not putting any effort into maintaining the relationship, but its when what you're giving is too much for them to handle, and they will easily brush you off as 'asking for too much'.

am i really so high maintenance? maybe different people would have different answer..



sometimes i am so sick of how things is going, that i got no one to share how i am feeling with.

等等等等.

我.. 是什么？

只是你填充空闲时间的一个人吗？



无止境的等让我觉得好累.. 或许是我想太多了吧？

改变所有的错。

今天就是将来的以前, 与其总想着从头再来, 不如从现在开始好好地过, 不要让将来的自己后悔。

Roooaaarrr...

in ten days its cny.

the traditions are really wearing out. i think the society have reached a point where they no longer care about festivals like these. i remembered, when i was much younger, the atmosphere would already be real good if its ten days before cny.

but right now all i see is sparingly deco-ed places. but at least i still hear alot of cny songs la.. hehe.. i like those old old, 'off beat' 80s kind.. need to be that kind that will have the gong xi fa cai feel! i'll be blasting them on chu 1!

any, its going to be my year this year. will it be a good year?

you have 1 new message.

but i want my tau huay lei... ;(

你还记得吗？

ai. 爱.

叫我怎么能不难过
你劝我灭了心中的火
我还能够怎么说 怎么说都是错

你对我说 离开就会解脱
试著自已去生活
试著找寻自我 别再为爱蹉跎

只是 爱要怎么说出口 我的心里好难受
如果能将你拥有 我会忍住不让眼泪流
第一次握你的手 指尖传来你的温柔
每一次深情眼光的背后
谁知道会有多少愁 多少愁

叫我怎么能不难过
你劝我灭了心中的火
我还能怎么做 怎么做都是错

如果要我 把心对你解剖
只要改变这结果
我会说我愿意做 我受够了寂寞

只是 爱要怎么说出口
我的心里好难受
如果能将你拥有 我会忍住不让眼泪流
第一次握你的手 指尖传来你的温柔
每一次深情眼光的背后
谁知道会有多少愁 多少愁

爱要怎么说出口 我的心里好难受
如果能将你拥有 我会忍住不让眼泪流
第一次握你的手 指尖传来你的温柔
每一次深情眼光的背后
谁知道会有多少愁 多少愁

叫我怎么能不难过
你劝我灭了心中的火
我还能怎么说 怎么说都是错
你对我说 离开就会解脱
试著自已去生活
试著找寻自我 何必为爱蹉跎

help!

did anyone even realised i was in need of help?

or is it that i just seemed too nonchalant? i am just too afraid to look like i am trying too hard, like an attention sucker..

一月五日，晴。

下雨也好 迷路也好
空气里有种相依为命的味道
爱你很好 连风都知道
第一次心甘情愿不想逃

当爱 相随
能完美一切不完美
当你 皱眉
我陪你留在天黑的世界

我们是座城堡
爱情放在里面很好
就算没有人看好
幸福是因为互相依靠
爱情这座城堡
牵著手才能找到
当我们彼此微笑 请不要打扰

into 2010.

and i realise, i have been much neglecting my blog. its too much of a convenience to just upload how i feel as and when i can on the profile status, that i had became so lazy to even pen out my thoughts properly! its starting to show its damage at work recently and i think its high time that i go back to blogging to at least have a practice of writing a longer passage that makes sense.

so, its the first day of the new decade! happy new year my readers! (if theres still any.)

the past year had been one of many changes.. i'm done with NS, got a job and started working back at Dsg. like what Ah Jie says- 2009 has been a yr of changes, challenges and lots of cheeriness, including knowing colleagues who became lunch khakis and much more! for my team managers who have been tolerating and teaching, thanks! and also siang, ah jie and jacq who has added so much colors to my life. siang and ah jie, i will constantly remind myself not to say that i have no friends!

dad is also back home.. though i think we are all still getting used to having each other around, haha! things will be better. ;)

i hope, that this 2010 will be a better one, with all the issues we have at home can be settled in the real near future. also hope that i can get back to school soon, and save up more money to travel around this wonderful world!

to talk, not to talk.

some times i wonder, whats the point in putting in the effort in commuicating.

Yes i know, u r trying too, but u just have to change the way u want things work. not always wanting people to only agree with u, but pls also open up and take in opinions..

level 1.

那可怕的无力感又再度来袭。


该怎么样才能把它赶走？

secret.

i'm hiding the biggest secret.

everything is going to be alright.

grandpa is hospitalized. he fell and has a cut on his forehead, which needs 6 stitches.




i'm feeling damn guilty cos i am not doing my part enough! and i should start by visiting them more often..

quoted: Wei An

Forgive by ~OnlyCurious

It made me wonder how many times we forgive just because we don’t want to lose someone, even if they don’t deserve our forgiveness.

just another day.

right things that happens at the wrong time simply means its not going to be a joyous affair after all.


i got the big envelop from SIM.
i'm accepted, but its totally no cause for any happiness and excitement.
who'll understand the plight i am in? who even bothers!

i am so sick and tired of the low vibes. all the shit i am in.

am i sick?

fridae.

what a sucky fridae night.


and that all i can rely on is a piece of ginseng face mask. to make myself happier, make me feel that i at least existed.








how pathetic.

hello.

i haven't been blogging seriously for a long long time. the thing is i have been writing quite alot at work and it really made me realised how bad my writing is, kinda demoralized me and lost all the 'feel' to write..

and the blunders at the events aren't helping. Singa says i should give myself more time cos i am still new and learning, i really hope i can learn fast enough to make my existence a help and not a nuisance. that kinda of feeling is so sianz.

iap + festival starting next week, and its actually something i am quite 期待-ing. other than the meetings which i am afraid i will fall asleep, the exhibitions and parties will definitely be fun!

things aren't going quite well recently.. lots of low vibes.. can the better days come faster? :(

sucks.

my mum just said some thing that hurts me alot. hais. i feel damn sucky.

and i really mean it! DAMN SUCKY!




to my sis and cousin who comes to my blog, please stop telling the adults what i am writing here! =D

quoted: Nat

void mirror

There's really no point being angry with the people you love.

Sure, you might do a "tit for tat", give an eye for an eye. But at the end of the day, what are you trying to do? Prove a point? Spite them?

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
-Ghandi

Why in the world would you want to hurt someone whom is dear to you? They might not even be around tomorrow. Nor you.

Time is very precious. And we're running out of it - every day, every hour, every minute. This very second.

Some things are not worth holding on to. Anger is one of them. Sometimes, the person you're angry with might not even know it. So all that effort and energy put into being angry only puts a toll on your body. For what? It's too troublesome.

If you have to make a point, and it's someone you love, then Trust that there's enough Love for you to put that point across, and for them to receive it. Just be sure to do it only when the anger has subsided.

Have you let go of your Anger today?

happy or not?

smile by =dunnalildiffernt

i'm so so tired of wearing that mask everyday. who noticed that face behind that frail smile?

quoted: dickson.

...alone by ~nunoramos0

Ever have that one person in your life that you just can’t give up on, the one person that can screw you over time after time yet you always seem to give them another chance, and no matter how many times you say this is their last one, you know it’s a lie because there’s always just one more waiting for them. the one person you know you’re better off without but yet you can’t find a way to let them go because deep down inside, you wouldn’t know what to do without them. The one person you know doesn’t deserve you but yet you choose to overlook it because you love her. -dickson.

ka ching.

first pay's in.

i told mum, its been 2 years since my bank acct seen 4 figure. haha.

2nd shot.

i was quite free today, doing some research online, and saw this photo. i suspect that it is taken from my office, so i am so going to try and take a second shot photo- the time difference is definitely more than 50 years!

this is going to be challenging.

只想说声 · 对不起·

Mother Thersa once said:

We can don't do great things, but we do small things with great love.

沉沦.

i feel like i am in a boat..
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.




a sinking boat.

sshhhh..

Gossip by Gashez

有时不是说问心无愧就能心安理得，因为人言可畏。

day 1 as a NS men.

lazing till the sun is shining all the way on my back side is definitely shiok.

headed out to meet jessamine for catching up at town area. talked alot about all the things and had some serious updates about the various happenings in our lives.. kang an join in later too, after his classes. had not seen him for near to 2 years liao..

oh yea. i is sipeh hiao. i went to dye my hair diy, with help from dad and mum. the color is nice, but i thought its a tat too bright. would have prefered something more subtle. maybe get it properly done the next dye!

tmr is first day of work, hope all will be well! =D

and so it is.

today i ord.

but the feeling isn't as intense as people told me. its more like any other day, not even the 'ic moment' caused any huge ripple in emotions.

its only till i am home and wanna wash and keep my uniforms, then i feel that its really the end of it. almost surreal, like it has never happened before.

night was gathering with the falcon boyz. turn out was really good i must say, almost half the platoon here. some of the people i have not seen since we left tekong.. i am really glad that every one is well..

D DAY.

its it. tmrw is the day.

after two years, back to a civilian. one full circle. still remember mum, godma and grandma sending me off to tekong just like it happened not long ago..


its a very special feeling. i dunno how to describe it.

pow.

i'd rather spend time with my lao ya computer that is going to break down anytime than with you.




i'm serious. stop irritating the shit outta me. you never seem to get enough, always only wanting people to do things you like, do things your way. we're like rubber bands being pulled to the max, not knowing when we will snap.

12 days later.

finally got the ffi done today, after two weeks since the dental one is done. was supposed to have done it a few days back but was not in camp due to the mc.

my friendly medic, YEO, is a good one. damn good skill when drawing blood, i totally almost don't feel it at all! so much better than the one at polyclinic for my regular check up.

half of the clearance form is also signed, thanks to JL for bringing me around to the various people who are suppose to sign. don't know most of them as i am posted in half way de.. so not really familiar with many people.

up next- get all the names signed probably by next mon/tues, return pass on wed/thurs and get ready to get out of the place!

*pukes.

first it was the vomiting. then its the LS-ing. almost yao le wo de ming!

now recovering, but stomach still feeling queasy.. hope i'll be better tmr! if not my wednesday will be damn miserable.. cos i will be back camp already! =(

in the end,

i still had to seek help in the end, even though i really didn't wanted. it wasn't easy to open mouth on that kind of topic..

but i dun wanna the folks to see the pit bottom account and start worrying, i chose to seek help from the trusted friend. am really thankful to him..

today, i confirmed my job and i will start work the week i ord. i hope things will start to pick up from there..



jingyao, you're the best. =D

quoted: jingyao.

rushing. by shanonaut.

Many things are revolving around me, but I am just trying to act ignorant, or maybe I am just taking it at a positive strike.

Laughter, is just one emotion where it helps to cover up certain things.
Smiles, is just one emotion to stop people from probing you with questions.

Then how about the emotion, sad?

When I was standing still at Outrum Station Platform, looking at the flow of people taking the escalator, the feeling is like, time is never waiting, people is never stopping, out of how many people that pass by you is a friend of yours.

but

in N years time from now................

movie marathon.

impromptu is the magic word to lots of fun, when a two men dinner turns into a three men one. the fish and chips at amk is just great, finally satisfied my craving for so many days.. haha.

was supposed to meet up with ray for movie, and asked zhihong to come too and included a dinner gathering at amk.. first movie was scandal makers, requested by ray, but also a movie which i had wanted to see too.


didn't really liked the starting part- find the daughter too irritating by just dashing in to the father's life and expect things to go by her way. but overall the whole show is a warm themed one and the songs in it are so nice. cha tae-hyun also did a good job in protraying the father, who has a daughter and grandson out of sudden. a very different side of him from my sassy girl!


after the movie, the trio felt that its just still early at 9 la.. and so they decided to go for another movie! physco-ed them to watch the proposal, which is just real good! laughed to tears at so many parts, and also loved the sarcastic language both the leads used intensively.

its my first movie marathon, and i think it will definitely not be the last. the feeling of watching the films you want at one go is definitely shiok. the next time, we must include jingyao! talk cock sessions are never the same without him.

feeling emotional.

是否長久以來太過壓抑的不滿、不快、不安，釀成今日的叛逆，繼而演變成變相的報復？





突然覺得自己好可怕。。

等得到下一个天亮吗？

must watch.

have been anticipating it since seeing the trailer while watching angel and demon with mabel. and now its showing!


who wanna be my khaki to watch it? haha..

Jinxed.

and my hp died on me.

yes, i know i just posted on the previous post that i got a new phone. the new camera ord phone meant for my civilian life. and now just 3 weeks into using it, it died on me!

no screen, no sound, NOTHING!

i am so damn sad. i will send it for repair tmr and find out whats wrong.. :'(

tick tock. tick tock.

can time pass faster please? fast forward to the 14th of september, where i can finally hang that blardy green uniform deep in the cabinet and not wear it soon in the near future!

upgrade.

cos i always feel.. that my vision is too narrow, too shallow, and i don't look far enough.

once again i feel it, while talking to the peeps back at ex co. i can't compare myself to their kids, different up-bringing and environment and background. but i can only do my best to make myself stand out in my own situation lor.

i must upgrade myself! get myself prepared to be back into the work force!

randomz.

Mew-

If you love someone, can you bear losing that person? But can you live without loving anyone at all? What about the rest of your life?

Movie on national day.

June to mum- "sometimes you make a wrong choice out of love, but that’s better than not doing anything for love at all."

My new baby.

say hi!!!

Insomnia.

It sucks, insomnia is so freaking cb!!! cant take it. damn tired but just couldnt sleep. =(

anw, went to watch own time own target! very nice, very farnie. cant stop laughing at some of the parts, and relate it to my own bmt. haha... i miss my bmt man.. i miss my buddies.. wonder how most of them are doing?

somebody.

who'd realise, that i am actually not ok?

-_-

i'm not taking things well. sometimes i just feel like giving everything up. but i know i can't.

witnessing history.

the memorial event of one of the most famous person on earth- mj.

watching it on cnn!

迟/不迟 · 主动/被动

很多事情，是需要很及时地去做，现在开始都不算太迟。


such a damn sad story.

bye bye mj.

an sms in the early morning sent me into a great shock and woke me up from my still-not-so-awake state at 7 plus.

mabel tells me that micheal jackson is dead.

i thought she was joking or what, but when i switched on the tv in guardroom channelnewsasia confirmed what she says.

msn news.

to be frank, i was never a hardcore fan of his. i just like his music and his MVs that is always fascinating. but the news of his dismissal just shook me. maybe thats the power of the king of pop yea?

goodbye. and thats the end of the legend, end of a superstar era.. RIP...

一片空白。

「我不是一定要你回來，只是當又把回憶翻開，除了你之外的 空白，還有誰能來教我愛。」

a packed sunday!

yesterday was a packed, fun filled day. first was met up with weihao, angie and woo heng at tampines 1 for weihao's birthday!

its my first time there. erm nothing much to shop lei but the food there is great! go to manpuku at level 3 for all the japanese food there! we had the fruit pies, which is fabulous. we also made a mental note to come back for the ramen, sushi and such!

our pies at manpuku.

we love polaroid!

angie and the present i made for her!

oh yea, we saw charlene choi! she is so chio! woohoo =)=)

after that was shopping and exploring around the new mall, which we found a pretty good shui jian bao. i'll definately be back there for more!

later in the evening was steamboat at bugis with jon and gang for his birthday, which i ate 6 crabs unknowingly. damn guilty, cos i shouldnt be eating so much of it at all due to my high cholesterol! =(

happy birthday hao! happy birthday jon! =D

happy fathers' day.

the part of the movie that moved me alot is the part where louis koo altered the tiger tattooed on his chest so that it looks less fierce as it always scares the daughter to tears. awww....

One year.

一年了，你那里还好吗？



我们都很好。希望你也是开心，快乐。

who cared? but they do.

ANGELINE said (1:10 AM):
u got enough ma kel?

what more can i ask for?





thank you for being there angie.
thank you for being there jingyao.

random rants.

some random rants for the past few days,

sat was spent at jaime's bdae. met up with jingyao in the morn to get his prez, and i must say this is one of the shortest time i spent to get some one's prez. its always good with jingyao cos he would make it chop chop done.

but in the end, jingyao fell sick in the late afternoon and did not go for the party.. so i ended up going with only meepok, hong and ah kee.

anw, on my way home, i took the circle line! latest addition to our mrt system. its pretty spacious at the stations. transfered at bishan mrt, which i havent been to for years! used to take train there very often as bishan is one of the fav hangout during secondary school.. it looked so different now!

yesterday was dinner with mich and cheewei at serangoon gardon hawker centre. after dinner we were looking for a place to chill, and in the end we settles for K! and we realise, after knowing each other for 10 years, this is the first time that we actually K!

time flies, and how easy is it to make friends that actually stays? not easy at all..

handmade and sorts of.

back from Jaime's birthday and i just realized,


i have never received anything like a handmade scrapbook or something like that before. like the one that everyone signs on for his birthday.

y is it like that leh! is it because i appear to be materialistic that people must give me some physical "gifts" that is actually bought? haha.. good point to ponder isn't it?

will he go into top 5?

this is the first episode i watch for this new season of 超级星光大道V. and i thought this guy is pretty not bad. both me and mabel hopes that he will go a long way!


btw, the song is 不会消失的夜晚.

囍帖街

找寻中...

你说，你已不再相信这个世界上还有true love.

但是，父母的爱也是love啊。
朋友间的爱也是love啊。

看，你还有好多朋友关心你。这些都是true love吧。

这个世界上还是有true love的，只要你还相信。
希望未来的日子里你会开心一些，我的朋友，纵使我并不知道你会不会看到我的祝福...

还怀念什么？

was flipping channels, when i stopped at mtv. 孙燕姿 is singing 我怀念的。

心里突然一阵揪着痛。

New toy.

rena, yen, its been a real long time since we 3 met up. rena, its really great to be at your birthday, glad to be there to celebrate the great double 2 for you!

and at the same time, so paiseh cos we're there to celebrate your birthday but at the same time you guys gave me a present too! haha..

for my mummy,

happy birthday mum.

If there're seasons?

"这里只有天气, 没有季节, 我很想看看下雪..."

missed the sold-out run in 2007 cos i was cheated by radio 1003, but this time round i did not miss it! 还是实实在在靠自己的钱买票比较可靠! 哈哈..

anw, i totally dun regret going to it! i think part of the reasons why people find that its good is cos of the emotional attachment they have to the songs that is written by liang wen fu (which is incorporated into the musical), and being the usual ah-peh-trapped-in-a-young-body me i totally enjoyed it! 或许出生在80年代末的我并没来得及赶上新谣最好的年代，但梁文福后来的创作我还是很喜欢! songs like 陪我看日出totally rocks! also, thanks to my cousin who IS born in that golden era, thanks for sharing all these good songs with me.

the story plot is also nice, i like the theme- homecoming. have read some reviews online and i do agree with what some if them said, that the start and ending are at a cemetry is a rather good part to bring out the theme. that home town is also a place where you 落叶归根 after you passed away, not only a place where you life happens.

the actors and actresses are also quite good, some pleasant surprises are the kitchen uncle and dishwashing auntie, which totally livens up the show!

当爱人已逝, 是该沉醉于心中的感情, 还是该敞开胸怀, 重新生活?
当理想受挫, 是该向残酷的命运低头, 还是该风雨兼程, 抬头挺胸?
当真爱来临, 是该犹犹豫豫不知所措, 还是该勇往直前, 大胆追求?

原来。

你也是和他们一样，不是一个能无条件分享我的快乐、我的感受的朋友。

Change is the only constant.

世事无绝对，有一些东西也不是永远的。

就比如说：一个等你的人。

get lost please.

grow up and get a life.

challenging me just because i have pointed out what are the things you have not been doing right? trying to scare me by calling outside "enforcements" in front of me?

you tactics are already wearing out my patience. not getting into a further argument with you does not mean i am scared or what. rather, i just cant be bothered anymore.


stop acting like a primary school kid.

boo!

shiate. i have a pes review coming up in two week's time. whats going to happen? up pes again and start to do all those shit all over again, but now at a brand new environment? or stay with my easy life i am having how? wish me good luck.

**

damn sian. has not been able to watch 17 again yesterday and today! i am on the verge of dropping this show from my watch list cos it just seem that i am not fated with this show. we shall see.

**

i want my ice cream from that shop at shaw tower!!! my rum and raisin with one month aged raisins!!! D=

叶子飞走了..

i was listening to 933 and just before i was about to turn in for the night, i heard d news that 阿桑, the singer of one of my fav song, 叶子, has passed away this morning due to breast cancer.

Yahoo.com.tw news

life is damn unexpected. goodbyes is due to come anytime, whether or not you are prepared!

cherish.



葉子 是不會飛翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的葉子
天堂 原來應該不是妄想
只是我早已經遺忘
當初怎麼開始飛翔

孤單 是一個人的狂歡
狂歡 是一群人的孤單
愛情 原來的開始是陪伴
但我也漸漸地遺忘
當時是怎樣有人陪伴

我一個人吃飯 旅行 到處走走停停
也一個人看書 寫信 自己對話談心
只是心又飄到了哪裡
就連自己看也看不清
我想我不僅僅是失去你

葉子 是不會飛翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的葉子

just cui.

not very nice hor.


i feel very squeeze dried. all the rubbish being thrown to me and i am supposed to "hop" all of them.

nevermind, just remember,

ORD IN 5 MONTHS TIME!!!

My apple martini.

happy birthday mich! time flies.. i find that recent years, the rate of our birthdays coming are becoming really fast..

this year its at bakerzine and ballymoon! the food is not bad, but most of them find that its not so fulfilling.. so we had spicy chicken wings at ballymoon! had quite a great time there with all the talking, drinking, and i finally how much of my stories mich is telling the girls! some of them is so not true! haha.. mich please dun make me sound like i am a two timer in a relationship.. -_- lolz..

its a nice gathering, though some of them i only meet up like once a year, we can still quite click. maybe we should have more outing, right mich?

永远到不了.

我们始终是不同世界的人。

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旋转木马终于有了快乐的结局.

was watching 康熙来了 last night and they were interviewing celebrity couples. theres this couple, the guy is one of them from BAD and the girl i suppose is a model, quite pretty.

they were discussing about their wedding and there is this touching part where this guy sang this song to the girl, which is actually written by the ex-boyfriend who passed away due to illness.

after knowing the story behind the song, i feel damn sad.

but some say, 旋转木马终于有了快乐的结局. 或许这首歌是他对她的祝福.

btw, the girl and the ex-boyfriend is featured in the mv.



拥有华丽的外表和绚烂的灯光
我是匹旋转木马身在这天堂
只为了满足孩子的梦想
爬到我背上就带你去翱翔
我忘了只能原地奔跑的那忧伤
我也忘了自己是永远被锁上
不管我能够陪你有多长
至少能让你幻想与我飞翔

奔驰的木马 让你忘了伤
在这一个供应欢笑的天堂
看着他们的 羡慕眼光
不需放我在心上

旋转的木马 没有翅膀
但却能够带着你到处飞翔
音乐停下来你将离场
我也只能这样

(PS. this guy is also the writer of one of my favourite song, 孙燕姿的- 我不难过.)

2359hrs.

a few minutes ago, i was suddenly craving for tau huay.

damns, i always want to eat food that i am not supposed to (ie. me being sick).

this is damn sianz. =(

mich.

mich, met up with her today.. to get the router and a belated birthday treat from her!

dinner at this noodle place at the basement of the cathay. theres chinese ramen, xiao long bao and some china-ish food. a really heavy meal followed by walking around before settling at swenson to have ice cream for their choclate fondue. had a good hearty chat and it feels like we have not met up for long already.. infact we do! 4 months according to her..

time flies hor!

with friends like her.. i really do hope that we have more chances to meet up.. sometimes i always feel that time is always not enough..

Shocking.

got news that C has left the organization, major shock! and the exit is not a peaceful one either.. with a big whoohaa left behind.

sort of expected her not to stay on from the last few conversations, but didn't expect it to be so sudden. and of cos, did not expect the big whoohaa that is left behind.

hais, workplace politics... gotta start getting used to it again! 6 more months to ord! back to civilian life!

i miss working. where i got more life- more money to have a life!

where is the love?

two friends whom i am quite close to broke off with their other halves recently.

J hasn't been on the smooth road in handling his feelings, but luckily the rest has been supportive too.

F needs a clearer picture of what she wants.

i hope things will be fine for the both of them real soon.. really.. i m bad at giving comfort words.. but the least i can do is just be there for you guys lor.. so dun hesitate! call me! =D

You should mend it, not end it.

Just home from celebrating Mabel's birthday! Had great dinner at sushi tei, and she finally chose what she want for her birthday. though a small gift, its our xin yi!

Sally and boon left after the dinner and the two of us headed to cathay to catch marley and me! We both thought its going to be a comedy, but it turned out to be a really meaningful movie.

How true it is, that a dog doesn't care who you are, if you're rich or poor, if you're tall or short. He's always there for you, as long as you give him you love. No matter what. And no matter how big the mess is, you'll still love him.

Found it a great movie and i am really touched at the later part of the show.. nearing to the end.. The relationship the family shares with the dog, how it has became a part of the family.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MABEL!!

世界の中心で、愛を叫ぶ。

我害怕被人遗忘..
可不可以替我照张相？
可以永远的保存..
~亜紀

rainbow.

no, i didn't manage to see the rainbow everyone saw. no luck maybe, ha ha.

here's a song thou! same title, by jay. love the lyrics.



哪里有彩虹告诉我
能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静
所有的怨都跑到我这里
有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑 我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳开始环绕
没有理由我也能自己逃
你要离开 我知道更简单
你说依赖 是我们的阻碍
就算放开 那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

thank you.

to mrs quek and joseph over the concern at fb. didnt expect any reply at all when i posted those things.. but well i am really touched by the comments!

thanks mrs quek, for he support thru out the years..
thanks joseph, though i don't even know you at a personnel level at all.. your words of encouragement really perked me..


*

the cyberspace has became a place which i have lots of qualms on.. no doubt its my blog, but people is watching this space. my life, and how i am making a fool of myself in it.

people come here for gossips, to know how i am doing, to know all sorts of things. even my cousin and godma comes here!

but i really dunno if this is still that space that i can post my thoughts freely, like i used to be. 有些事是我觉得可以说的，想要说的，其实却是不能说的。因为会引起太多人的揣测，没必要的争论，关心我的人的担心。。

having said that, i will still post my thoughts here la. haha. my dumping ground!

quoted: Jeslin, yh, york, emily.

from jeslin's blog:

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly y at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.

from yh's nick:

we're meant to lose the people we love. how else would we know how important they are to us?

from york's conversation:

anyways, let me give you a word of advice
when things cant be any worst....
it only can get better!
ai zai...u will be just fine man

from me to mrs quek:

i dunno.. as you know right i am a very verbal person. No matter what I think or feel, there is no problem in me articulating these thoughts. But sometimes...you simply have too many of such ideas in your mind that suddenly, talking/writing them out does not seem to do yourself justice.

from mrs quek to me:

BE yourself. We put on many mask everyday. We act in various roles.

ColorGenics.

Name: Kelvin
Date: 2/19/2009
Colorgenics Number: 15623407

You have always longed for tenderness, love and a sensitivity of feeling into which you would like to blend. You are a very gentle warm person and responsive to 'All things bright and beautiful'. This personifies a caring person, a person who 'needs' and indeed 'needs to be needed'.

You are finding the present situation extremely demanding and you're having difficulty coping with it. A great deal of strain is involved and you would really like everyone and everything to leave you alone for a while, just so that you can put everything into perspective.

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

情人节不孤单！

happy v day! haha.

met up with mabel and boon on friday the 13th. supper plus some night activity.. we've not done so for so long! i think the last time is the prata trip just before enlistment. this time round, met at bugis first before hitting starbucks for some drink and desserts at liang seah street.

anw, saw that benjamin buttons is finally out! must find one day go see, as usual i will always say but arent sure if it will realise. haha.. cos mabel and boon not very keen on the show leh!

after the dessert it was k at marina square. another sing-till-they-close session, which ended with the 3 of us damn seh and falling asleep on the cab. ha! its always great to be out with the gang, i hope we can all try to make time to meet up more frequently..

quoted: Nat

There are some friends who'll always know you for you, for the times when you're crying beneath the biggest grin in the whole wide world. Brave fronts don't always work. But they love you despite all that anyway.

quoted: Yahui.

Friends Forever.

普遍的两个字，隐藏着深奥的意义。

小时候，我老是把它挂在嘴边。

只要有一群朋友一起玩，就觉得自己和他们很投缘。

有时候还会讨论长大后要一起开店等等。

可是梦想往往和现实有落差。

人啊，总是在变。

很多知心朋友已经变成陌生人。

有些还比陌生人更陌生。

就是所谓的 “Hi-Bye Friend”。

心情：可悲。

可悲，因为觉得可惜。

可悲，因为想念过去。

可悲，因为你是我的。

可惜属于我们的过去已成为回忆。

不过，我应该感到欣慰。

虽然我们不能做永远的好友，但回忆是永恒的。

“朋友一生一起走，那些日子不再有。。。”

在我们的一生中，时时刻刻都会有新脸孔出现。

没有人知道谁才是你真正的朋友。

只有你，才能够让真正的朋友陪你一生一起走。

我们要懂得惜缘、惜福。

haiz.

today's only the second day at the new place and we've got ict in processing- meaning i have to reach early! had to wake up before 5 and reach by 645!! clementi! i'm late anyway, despite taking the first bus. -.-

i am seriously contemplating staying in on days which i have to reach super early. the car sickness is there even when i am on my way home, which is already near to the end of the day!

somebody validate me.

http://www.spiritualcinemacircle.com/scc/ecs/public/main/validationMovie.html

must watch! watch till the end...

thanks royce, for making my day. the video is really good...

1088.

done with the last duty, and started signing my clearance..

was clearing my arms at philip's, and i got a damn weird feeling out of the sudden. people all say that a soldier's rifle is his laopo.. and now i am signing it off, not needing to draw it again anymore..

that feeling is damn surreal. leaving way before my ord, 8 more months away.. something that i have least expected.

york says its the same, be it post out or ord. everyone has to go thru it. its just a matter of earlier of later. but post out is diff la.. its you and alone, leaving. where as ord, you leave together with your batchmates to new phase of life!

now i will leave alone.. haha. rsm say he will indent a rover to send me to the new camp, so i dun have to go on that journey on my own. ha! we shall see.

although we have been complaining how sucks, but we also have many happy moments here... so when you leaving, you will feel sad...
-jingyao

再见。

我只是简单问你，你知道我最近的生活怎么样了吗？你知道发生在我生活里的点滴吗？
不。你并不知道。

你有什么资格教训我？

不要口口声声说你什么都了解，因为你什么都不。

作为朋友，我问心无愧。你能吗？
我不会再钻牛角尖了。要听他们的一面之词，就去吧。

管不了，不想管，懒得管。
反正到最后，罪人还是我。

whirlpool.

i don't wanna waste anymore effort trying to explain myself. every story has its sides, its just that who wanna look at things from my perspective.

i dunno.. everyone is looking at her perspective, his perspective.. wanting me to look in their perspective.. but who's looking in to mine?

haha.. damn tired.. dun wanna fall into this whirlpool anymore..