yea jie mei... i have heeded ur advices the last time things happened and have moved on.. its just that some times i jus looked backed and had some thoughts... blogging bout it doesnt mean i cant get over it, i have gotten over.. jus that sometimes i still think about it..

*****

anws THE BIG RED ENVELOP HAS ARRIVED! my invitation from MINDEF is sent right to my door step.. hahas.. saw it only on monday cos i didnt go and open my letter box.. haa! mixed messy feelings. shall see how things goes first ba.. better go register at the website first for a medical check up date otherwise they will anyhow allocate.. =(

*****

the week has been a fulfiling one actually.. been to some site visits like sentosa golf club and fort canning country club... been years since i went to sentosa liao. it has changes alot. i shall find some time and get a bunch of friends to go there soon!

the fort canning park is also a place i have not been to since i am primary four. remembering those tombs and taking fotos there.. been up there twice this week and i love the greenery there!

had a mini outing to the philatelic museum after lunch on wed.. cos yan er has a pass to go.. and so me and kah ying and pete went with him... had fun and see alot of interesting things! some of the stamps i have them at home too! an eye opener...

*****

so now, i shall go for lunch.. tata~

why is it that everyone likes to do things that annoys me and in turn says that i am giving attitudes? i hate all these thats happening.. people claim alot of things.. like "you are a good boy.. we are good frens.. u are not disturbing... can always call me.." but how true are those comments?

i am starting to wonder what has the world become? why is it that no one is doing what he/she is preaching?

there was a time not long ago, i always get badly affected when i felt my "friends" left me out, neglected my feelings, dont treat me as frens. some one close told me not to be so petty.. forget the past and jus expect less from them lo...

now i was no longer "petty"...i jus heck if people dun like me and i can jus stay away from them in case i annoy them off... but what happens? people say u dun care about the friendship. i mean what the hell...

i cant care too much. then dun care also wrong. what to do? live with only myself is the best...

gee! the prev post that i post up caused a stir! =(

anw, dunch worry jess cos what this guy wrote does not really represent what i feel.. i jus copied it there cos its sort of diff from what we used to see in those old chain letters. so i am not a MCP like him!! hehe. its the new age and no one should longer be so chauvinistic rite? but then ur guess is definately rite! he is one lonely person and his best companion IS his best buddy - the dog.

*****

well anw its a 7 day work week for me last week... so tired! esp sat and sun.. worked morn shift at levis... now its giving me serious headache.. plus not enough sleep... imagine yest, the taxi is at my home at 0450 am!!! T_T all the not enough of sleep will make me age!!!


sat was day out with ben, cindy and joycelyn to celebrate her birthday, out at marina! the rest didnt come cos they were some what busy.. we ate yuki yaki and the night is filled with fun! also walk walked to esplanade there and we heard this performance at the out door theater.. this acapella group key elements. they sing well! the song that attracted me is liu shui nian hua.. their version is so nice and soothing! after that we walked to merlion too to take pics.. which after we all headed home.. i hope she liked the present we got for her!

*****

i seriously need more rest.. and motivation.. like some recognition from the work i am doing.. =(

i am quite free this morning! but it happens only once in a blue moon... =(

anw, since i am quite free, i SECRETLY go and surf blogs and webs and chat on msn.. a tough mission considering the amt of people walking pass my desk every moment.

first to present is what i have saw from jess's blog!

ok it all started when i said i dunno if i wanna go cos guys will have to be topless during spa sessions and all my fat meats will be out to meet the crowd. very malu. but then spa seems very appealing to me too! i shall do some calculation on the budget thingy so lets keep this on the top of our list still k jess? =)

in another conversation with Tatwee, we were discussing bout how we steal time from work to "take a rest". now i finally found someone who has the same habits as me!!!

was reading blinkymummy... and her post in the movie "the departed"... super funny can! haa!

又站在你家的门口
我们重复沉默
这样子单方面的守候
还能多久

终于你开口向我诉说她有多温柔
虽然你还握着我的手
但我已不在你心中

我真的懂
你不是喜新厌旧
是我没有 陪在你身边
当你寂寞时候

别再看着我
说着你爱过
别太伤痛
我不难过
这不算什么
只是为什么眼泪会流 我也不懂

就让我走
让我开始享受自由
回忆很多
你的影子也会充满我生活

我并不懦弱
你比谁都懂
虽然寂寞
这会是我
最后的宽容

抱紧我
再抱紧我
这一份感动
请你让我留在胸口
别再说是你的错
爱到了尽头
是非对错
就让它随风
忘了所有
过得比你快活

不要再说
或许这是最好的结果
现在分手
总好过你不爱我一拖再拖

松开你的手
离开你左右 我向前走
这会是我 真正的解脱

so free that i start blog jumping and trying out the quizzes that people have been trying. heres one, which you might want to try.


Get to know yourself better


Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.


The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.


Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.


The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.


The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.


How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.


What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.


Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


---http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Adopted from Cruzteng.com....



waaa!!!! i didnt noe 26 liao still can have mcdonald party!!! i also want!!! nex yr i will be 20 nia~ wun be too old yet! *envious envious*

i have never had a party ar mac b4... childhood dream but never fullfilled..

it has been a hundred years since i last blogged! but due to my home com breaking down.. sighs.. some one with lobangs please tell me to save my ccom!!!! T_T i want all my mp3s and my precious memories my fotos back! sighs..
i will be real sad if i lost all those fotos.. those precious memories! some gone that will never be back.. cos things changed, people changed. those people that i have took fotos with, might not want to take with me anymore now.. so.. please come back my fotos!!! jess i will be waiting to see if ur boy can help.. ha!
so meanwhile my limited readers, please bare with the time being for lack of posts!

*****

work has been fine! with the tasks given enough to keep me occupied at the correct time (ie, busy in the morn, free after lunch cos i am near to hibernating mood). the alone shoppings after work on my own has been enjoyable too and i am sad to pronounced that i am $XX poorer now! ha! but ok la.. cos the things that i have bought made mum happy lol..

*****

working has been becoming a chore. i am considering quiting levi's. cos i just simply cant stand some people anymore. like a bit no point staying there anymore liao le... cos i work and slog and i became someone who is more tired and sad. so whats the point? they raised the pay of people in the other boutiques but not ours in airport. we are suppose to get more higher paid then them cos its more troublesome for us to work! imagine the rubbish working hours. enough to tire everyone to death! sighs.. whats the use of sighing? as if its going to help..

i am so sorry binz.. i have disappointed 187373 peoples including you.. u all were there for me to be happy but i kept being unhappy cos of one person..

你们到底有没有想试过要了解我？



我多么希望我是个没情绪，没理由，没接口的人。但我不是。

总有一天我会败在自己的手上。当我独自寂寞时，世界还是一样会转动，大家还是一样会欢呼。


但，你会不会发现我已不在？

its quite a day.. imagine whole day, i am stil stuck at the 50 page report that i have to summarise to about 8 page only.. T_T have been doing it for about a week, but progress has not been significant till today. hope i can finish it by tml and hand it up!

meet up with jieyingz after work today!!! she is the best pal can! come down from science center to raffles city to pass me the vcd.. and we shopped ardd too!! i wanna say SORRY to her.. cos our shopping make her get suan by people!!! you will still be my good pal no matter wat jieying!

results is out! nearly forget abt it but jess reminded me.. hee.. and we waited till 12 tog. with amanda online too! results not out at 12 and me and jess were speculating that we are sabo-ed again. like the time for ipp posting. but at 1225 like that its out.

hmm. how to say leh. i am not satisfied with my results cos my gpa dropped. make me further from my ntu/smu dream le. like cant reach at all le. T_T

but nontheless, there is still causes worth celebrating!

whee!! i passed the f**king qm paper!!

yea i got D+. not a fab result at all. but considered how suck the lecturer/tutor and the notes is, i passed. i got a + somemore! ain't it worth celebrating??? i can't wait! tml going to reward myself over lunch!!!

p/s: MR LEE CHANG DA STOP BUGGING ME FOR MY RESULTS!!!!

gpa dropped. i am a little disappointed. cos that means i am one step further from ntu/smu. maybe i can get in there in my dreams. HAHA~ like they will allow! maybe in my dream i will be denied access too! ha!

jess passed all, and yh passed all too. and so does jieying, shaune, sam and herry. happy we cleared everything. and yongsheng jia you! dun give up. off i go to zzz! tml is another working day! now must cheong for ipp le.. hope it can pull my muddy grades higher!!!

mum has been commenting that i have been "socializing" more since ipp starts. well.. ipp jus sux too much la and have to chill out to release the stress..

have been noticing myself unknowingly going to raffles city for walk walk everyday after work.. i jus need time to be alone walking wondering ard to cool off all the stress! actually i wonder where my stress comes from but most of them comes from myself..

well well well. jess has been blogging saying that i don't blog la! so i going to blog a post for her. ha!

days have been rather mundane. and i am growing to be sick of it! i can stand it no more! *well at least GOING TO if not now* have been trying my very best to learn all the things but i really cant help it when i starts to doze off when miss lee is teaching us on the GeBiz system. i hope those info that i manage to get in is useful! otherwise later i will be lost when asked to operate it.. and there goes my good grades.. T_T have been hoping hard to get a good grade to pull up the gpa but i seriously dunno where i am in the scale of my supervisor. am i up to standards? sighs. rather not think of so far. week three in jus a wink! i jus hope i can go back to school soon..

ma workplace.. colourful! but not fun de.. haa.

housed in the meeting room..

da kuku com dat hurts my eyes n my so-cramp desk

last fri, had a chill out nite with Mabel and Boon. we talked about our thots and feelings. we shared alot of things. our emotions, feelings, even our burgers! hit carls junior before we head k box to sing our lungs out!

the food.. we love food!

Mabel, Kel, Boon. More then ten years and counting..

sat i went to meet vinas.. passing her bdae present.. for last yr and this yr! haa.. has been owing her.. we are all jus too busy*excuses* and not giving enough attention to our frens la!! chit chatted and she gave me a surprise.. i am so shocked but well i will be happy for u if u are really happy la!

chatted with shan on fone too and she gave me a surprise too! haha.. life is like a box of chocoloate.. full of surprises cos u wun noe wad u will get..

life at IPP is sure about eating and more eating! got to eat pocky la. and those drinks. love my daily suppl of coffee from the espresso machine.. so shiok to have the fresh coffee!! but well, no fab food ard. only week 3 and lunch has been growing into a chore. but still everyone is looking forward to it! have been telling mel, if we really become white collars whose purpose in being in the office everyday is to wait for lunch to come, isnt that a v sad thing?

pocky!

da old school strawberry milk we used to order thru our primary school...

anw, i jus hope the remaining nine weeks will be fab for me. PLEASE~! well almost no one has been asking me how my ipp is going.. haha.. peeps like H, Y, J, and some others. sighs. do i really have no frens? seen someone's blog la.. and found out that despite being quite close to him, i know nutting bout him.

how is his ipp?
how is his pay?
how is his life?

i dun noe at all. sometimes i felt like i am not qualified to be ur pal. cos i dunno u at all! sometimes i feel that u shut me out. well.. i am really at my wits end. jess teach me wat to do!

as for dearest H, after making me absolutely pissed with the undecisive guys, have not contacted me AT ALL. boo hoo. maybe i have grown used to people ignoring me. its happening too often. so often to the extend that i dont know how i should react.

*****

at the last day of exam, S asked me: isnt there any time you wanted to find out why we hated you so much? frankly, my heart skipped a beat when i heard the word "hate". i never tot someone would use such a word on me. especially this bunch of people whom i treated them like family in school can! but after that, i calmed down real quick in a split second and replied: is the reason really important? what will happen even if i noe it? will anything change?

she was dunbfolded. so am i. i dunno what gave me the power to reply so calmly, i have never been so calm before when handling such probs! but i think what i says really make senses la.. will it really help if i know? i am hated, and i move away. i jus felt it was logic to do so.. so that i annoy no one more. is that a fault too?

even if thing has turn well, i don't think i can still be as close with them as before? to make it simple, the trust is no longer there.. actually, i know that they have tonnes of activities but didnt call me. i actually don't mind, cos whats the use of me going and in the end everyone is unhappy? if its me 8 months ago, i would have died from anger. but that is the past. i think i must thank the quarrel with T and J, cos without that quarrel that disconnects me with the whole class, i would not have learnt so much. the truths.. abt frens.. what is actually real friendships? i doubt anyone will ever find an answer to it..

i am not being cold blooded now! stop calling me that! its not that i have no emotions.. and not that those friends meant nothing to me that its ok to lose them.. its jus that my perceptions have changed.. like i have said, its no use of my appearance if it is going to make everyone annoyed la.