now playing: 周杰伦/温岚 - 祝我生日快乐

我知道伤心不能改变什么
那么让我诚实一点
诚实难免有无法控制的宣泄
只有关上了门不必理谁

一个人坐在空荡包厢里面
手机让它休息一夜
难
想切歌切掉回忆的画面
眼泪不能流过十二点

生日快乐
我对自己说
蜡烛点了寂寞亮了
生日快乐泪也融了
我要谢谢你给的
你拿走的一切

还爱你带一点恨
还有时间才能平衡
热恋伤痕幻灭重生
祝我生日快乐

i need an outlet.

i must stop making myself feel so stressed.

i must stop myself from the emotional overturing i am having right now.

i jus feel like going to the beach right now.. i miss the peacefulness and tranquility i can get there... heart is in a deep whirlpool of mess....



its just two years ago can.. even thou i looked fatter, but i am much more happier. looked more carefree and smiled more widely!





will i be able to do it again?

电影 [生日快乐]

他爱她。她也爱他。

大学毕业后，他和她没有在一起。他和她成为了比好朋友还好的朋友。

过了一阵子，他去了美国，而她之后去了日本。出现在他们身边的人不只一个。

再过一阵子，他和她在香港团聚。

但他和她还是没有在一起。

每年生日，她就等他的生日祝福。

There are things that I care about every day. But I can only say it once a year.

生日快乐

another must watch show of the year!

*****

last nite was at kang an's 21st. a small celebration at indo chine the nude restaurant. food's great! jus that the service there arent good.. and the kitchen's abit slow..

got KA a tee from M:Industries. hope that he likes it ba.. theres more then 10 of us there.. hope he is happy and enjoyed the day! 21 le.. the key to freedom..

IMC part 1 down.

happy like a little bird. finally its over! no amount of words can describe how i feel right now. its like the tonnes of weights is gone! *okok.. i noe still got alot more icas to rush.. T_T *


presentation is soso. herry says i presented wrongly. anw, i was on time for rehearsal but everyone's late. still say i will late. HAHA.

so sians. skipped the lecture and SBM day.. abit no point to go also. haha.




ok i gotta go prepare now! going out for KA's 21st!

逃。

"... a lot of things, if you grab too hard, you'll lose it. if you don't grab it at all, you'll lose it too..."

depressing but true...

*****

i wanna run. i wanna run far far away.

i gonna explode! can feel the tension of the deadlines coming.. gastric, spinning headaches, just to name a few. the serious deprive of sleep is also driving me up my corner..


dun worry, i am not crying. my eyes are teary not cos i am tearing.. just that my eyes are too tired! sianz. i wonder how i will survive in ns.. maybe i cant leh also never noe rite. haha.

ok my head is spinning again. i better hit bed now or i think i cant wake up tmr morning for IMC presentation.

disgusting. pukes.

【绝对】 文海：决赛有我和世维，会更好看！

woa. super bhb to say this of himself. i cant believe it!

孙文海则表示，“我和世维，一个有歌声；一个有舞台魅力，整个show将更有看头。”意思浅浅？！

actually, his singing is ok. but i dun like it when the judges are not doing justice to other contestants. like the fast and slow song round. he sang a ROCK song *note: not a fast but a rock one* and DID NOT dance at all. not to the theme at all. but yet he got the highest score. and he is super EMO!!

sometimes it jus make him quite fake yea? he cries everytime, regardless he is in or he is out. ok its quite reasonable when he is eliminated.. but those times that he got to go to the next stage? sometimes i wonder if its tears of relief that his money spend on voting isnt wasted and he can continue the journey..

孙文海：“我以为会和世维一起进入决赛”

一直以来，孙文海是众参赛者眼中的劲敌。他曾经在酒廊驻唱，经验丰富，歌艺比其他参赛者都好。

这一次出局，他坦言不无失望。昨晚他在台上演唱告别歌曲《如果爱》时，还一度语气哽咽，泪洒舞台。

“我哭，是因为我无法和好朋友世维一起进入总决赛。比赛前几天，我们已经讲好了，希望最后进入总决赛的是我们两个人。”

“我们一个靠声音、一个靠舞台魅力，这样整个show应该会很好看。没想到错过了这个机会。”

呃……就是说陈铿百没有声音也没有舞台魅力啦？！（记者来找碴）
“也不是这么说啦。铿百的进步大家都看得到。他唱《寂寞公路》（第四场复赛）的时候，我就觉得他也是一个‘强敌’。但是我和道文、世维、乐声、坊林的感情都很好……人都是自私的吧。如果让我选的话，我当然希望我们五个人都可以进入最后5强。”

这么说，你会把票投给好兄弟世维啰？
“铿百和世维都很棒，但是以专业的角度来看的话，我会投给世维；他在翻身赛之后越战越勇，舞台魅力无法挡。”

陈世维翻身成功之后，奋起直追，屡创高分。孙文海和陈世维从初赛开始，就已结成好朋友，孙文海还不是指点陈世维，教导他如何突围。没想到，现在自己反而被淘汰。陈世维扮猪吃老虎？！

你一直强调自己的实力不俗，出局因素是……

“我不是对自己的实力有信心，而是受到很多圈内人的肯定……我会出局，可能是缺少了铿百和世维所拥有的可爱和魅力。”

“当然，观众投票也是关键之一啦。我身边的人都收入平平，有朋友打了很多通电话，可是一分钱都没有跟我收，我觉得这个比赛让我感觉到家庭的温暖和朋友的友谊。”

你的粉丝不多，是不是因为看起来太凶？

“我不这么认为。之前我唱《微尘》的时候已经把摇滚的感觉改掉了。实力嘛，我是有一点啦；就是差了世维的魅力和铿百的可爱啰。”终归一句，就是外型“累事”啰。

一路走来，亲身体验之后，我们请孙文海告诉大家，SuperStar须具备什么条件？

“你必须有陈世维的舞台魅力、陈铿百的可爱、张乐声的声音，还有我的vocal power，哈哈！没有啦……其实我觉得SuperStar应该抱有活到老学到老的态度，谦虚的态度，不断学习、不断往上爬，加强自己的音乐知识。”

daren arent that well either? his dance steps are ok.. but this is a singing comp.. not dance floor la! that one is channel 5. last week i nearly threw up when he sang ju hua tai. wrong pronunciation of words.. wrong feeling.. everything feel so wrong. he let the song down. and i dunno how come he can still get so high scores.. week after week. his wu tai mei li is also ok only. generally i think that this time round, the contestants are not as good as those two years ago.. i think this time round.. we do have alot of entertainers.. but not a real superstar.

who wins or not dun really matters anw. its a reality tv show in disguise of a competition. who noes if mediacorp did anything to the results? or what so ever? its all well kept under the carpet.. so we just take it as entertainment lo.



*note all quotes from www.channelu.sg*

day out. with hitsu.

we're supp to meet to go to the ntu talk at suntec followed by the national library.. but things are all so not in place to day. didnt go to any of the planned places.

cos time is changed. cos i was late. we didnt go to the talks. instead walked ard suntec and looked at alot of things. bumped into liqin, my sec sch class mate. talked for a while before we continue and finally enter carrefour, where we spent hours in there! shopped for some sushi.. and the drink - DUTCH LADY BANANA MILK the all time fav. other misc stuff includes breads for tmr breakfast and stuff.

"hi tea" is at the suntec fountain, where we got some sunlight. thats followwed by the walk along the river bank where we enjoy the sky, sea, land, breeze and everything. walked to esplanade where we rested for a while before miting her bro and mum to have dinne. pretty nervous cos its the first time la... but wells things turned out quite well. her bro is a farnie and humorous person, and mum is cheerful and friendly too. the dinner is great! everything is great.. =)

*****

frenship is fragile
both muz noe hw 2 act & react
nt every1 noe hw 2 reflect
so time sumtimes cn kill

yes i so agree with what manda has said. i think i am one who dont really know what is the right way to react ba.. thats y i always can only feel sad, frustrated.

sometimes i felt i have really let down those friends who care for me. but wells..

now playing: 娃娃 - 大雨

说真的我不是故意
看见你和她在街头伫立
我在犹豫该不该逃避
还是让你看见我在这里

天空间飘来的雨
滴滴洒落在我心里
我在怀疑该不该躲你
该不该躲这场雨

大雨就要开始不停的下
我的心我的心已经完全的没有主张
带我到没有爱情的地方哦

大雨就要开始不停的下
我的心我的心已经完全的失去方向
带我到没有爱情的地方

*****

its raining again.. sianz.. the big big rain makes me sleepy all the time and extremely emo.. feeling so blue!

sometimes recently, this song kept coming into my mind when it rains. but wells, not always la! quite an old school retro song.. but its still nice!

满城尽带黄金甲

菊花残满地伤
你的笑容已泛黄
花落人断肠我心事静静躺
北风乱夜未央
你的影子剪不断
徒留我孤单在湖面成双

*****

this show is fab! met up with mabel after sch to catch it.. was supposed to have catch it some time ago but was delayed till today.. and also its been quite some time and not many slots le.. lucky we settled at lido otherwise i believe it would have been alot of disappointment!

*sidetrack* next time dun go lido.. the seats is so... =X uncomfortable!

overall i think its a good show with a quite interesting story? or maybe it was cause of the cast ( and some say the way they are dressed)? but wells, jay has to improve his acting ba? haha..

high entertainment, scenes of the ju hua tai very magnificent. overall a very "royal" show trying to portrait the "grandness".. i would say its a good attempt..

*****

after that was some shopping ard and dinner follows at lemongrass. the food there is quite good i would say.. i heart thai food! thou it was quite expensive.. happy that we both enjooyed the movie.. i am planning to catch confession of pain soon.. maybe next week?

=(

screwed up mind.
screwed up emotions.


rather saying i am disappointed in that person, i would rather say i am disappointed in my self. i dont know where's the limit as to things shd develop.. things that we all do.. but all i noe is..


i feel screwed up now.

REcap for the past few days

really wondered ard alot these few days.. haha.. i jus need some balance of that sucky feeling that keep attacking me nowadays!


sat*

night's out with xiu. wasnt feelin so great and i think i needed some time out and eat something i like.. so i asked xiu out to grab the tau huay at short street.. da best! before that i wondered ard alone.. walking from bugis - city hall - plaza sing - short street. enjoy some music and some walking.. good execise!

had the tau huay and the char kway teow.. jus a fab nite.. thanks xiu for the christmas pressie too! seeing what she got for me jus make me feel i did not put in much effort in my present for her.. but wells the next christmas i will!


sun*

buffet dinner at conrad continential.. the food there is nice! did not take any pic cos was too busy playing with baby ben and enjoying the food.. but pics with cousin will come soon!


today *

noon out at j8. havent been there for a long time! first is walk walk with kang an and co. then when i am going home i met herry and jess.. and we had some light desserts.. or maybe not so light after all.. ahaha! long talks over alot of things.. but well it is all heart to heart talk! good time spent with the two of them!

#####

i have only one pair of shoe currently.. that saf running shoe. but everyones saying that it is a mismatch to anything that i wear - it only goes well with sports wear.. how? looks like i need a new pair of shoe lahs. must go hunt for a nice one !

thinking..

i gotta sad feeling.. i wonder if he knows that its coming.. but i reckon he might not even know its coming la..

Juz b'Coz i SmiLe doeSn't MeaN i'M HapPy

sick tired of all the shits in school and ma life.

i have got no more energy left to do anything.. to explain anything.. or to clear anymore misunderstandings..

whats the reason that all of my friends eventually left me? is it cos i am really asking to much? is it cos i am not doing enough? or jus what is it.

many asked me to jus dun think so much and dun care what others think.. but is it that possible for me to live in just my own world. that is like not so possible for my case ba? "thinking" has already been so into my life that it is not jus as easy as snapping fingers to kick it off.

i got the feeling i jus wanna run away from this dumps of unhappiness.. but it is all but reality that i have to be stuck here. i reckon more unhappiness will come when i go into ns. =(






what has my life became? why is it into this state now? i dunno...

what will it lead to? i dunno...

quotes: from Anch Manch!

there once lived a farmboy, young and handsome..
he worked hard on his papa's farm, but this boy, he had wishes..
one day, he hoped, to make it to town..
and see for himself- jewels and crowns..

he n'er did complain, and years flew by
the boy turned tall, and my, he was a sight..
gers came giggling, then one day he picked
the prettiest of them all, his wife-to-be..

it was all so simple, a farmboy and his ger
until fortune changed and so did he..
he remembered his young dreams of making it in town,
when chance came, and presented itself...

he bid her goodbye, one cold rainy night
but he arrived in town- it was bright glittery lights..
he was captivated by it all, such hustle and bustle
especially the air, even that was better..

he worked extremely hard, he didnt wana let anyone down..
but life's hard, especially for someone new in town..

then one day, he was walking, struggling with his coat
a beautiful lady passed, he took a second look
'tis the woman he wans for life-
the boy fell for her, as hard as he could..

he started his romancing, for the ger he found..
only to realise she was most sought-after in town:
the only child of a rich businessman, poised and elegant
yet her courage- it makes tales of legend..

finally, he asked her out, and she willingly obliged..
it was a date under the starlight, one cold chilly night
they shared stories beside a shimmering river,
and laughed so happily, despite the shivers..

dates blossomed into love,
but a farmboy's status make for good rumours..
for in a world of oldschool traditions,
she was topclass and he, second position

she didnt mind, she declared her love..
she treasured those stolen moments, those latenight conversations..
but he instead, he began to waver..
he realised at the end of it all, money matters..

and the farmboy, well, he had none..
so often, he worried about not being good enough..
esp where his princess was concerned, he'd rather leave than fail
to give her the goodlife she'd been assured

he started to take steps, further and further away
he didnt wana see her tears, or her pretty eyes, grey..
she couldnt understand just what was wrong..
shouldnt love be the biggest strength of them all?

but no, as it happened, he was weak..
in his heart and his resolve- he gently weeped..
he decided one day, to return to his farm
because townslife, tho exciting, was still full of harms..

she waited endlessly, day after day..
at night she cried, and never again did she pray...
for God, she thought, didnt play his part
He sent him to her, then forced them apart..

months became years..
there never came news
she knew not what happened
he returned home to pay his dues

one mustnt forget he had a woman he left
sometime ago, the ger he was supposed to have.
and tho now he knows he doesnt love her
a promise's still a promise, they married in jazz

so he sits there still, thirty years down the road..
in his old rocking chair, the air stale and still..
his wife brings him tea, he thanks her sweetly..
but his heart, his mind- they swell guiltily.

cuz its been so long, but he still thinks of her..
the lovely princess in town- his love forever.
and sometimes he wonder, if he had the guts then,
would they have been happy now, mebe he'd have been a proud granddad..

but mebe sometimes, love just aint enough..
and for the old lady in the tower, no one else knows better
for she had been waiting, pining for her lover
but tears, her tears, they can only flow into the river..

*

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义

我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里
你的真心。

爱真的需要勇气- dun u all agree??

Happy New Year!

The new year has arrived. this year is a special one. cos i ushered in the new year all by myself. i went to the fireworks at esplanade alone and waited for like 3 hours for it? its a special experience ba..

reached at abt 9. and i stationed my self at the prime spot. thats the benefit for reaching early.. but the wait is tormenting! some more no one to tok to. lucky i got my radio and shuffle. otherwise sure seh la~!

anw, i think there are more PRCs and Bangalas then singaporeans there. and some of them are VERY inconsiderate.


our dear friend here from india. i think he "LOVES" me. i dunno! for some reason or what he keep staying EXTREMELY close to me. almost like sticking onto me~! and at some point of time he actually nearly rest his head on my shoulder. FUCK! but well, at least they buzz off after i started to stare at him real hard.

how can i forget that "auntie" that annoys and shock everyone? she took out a cig and start to smoke right there. there in the CROWD!!! RIGHT NEXT TO ME! siao. totally not civic minded. and her friend, talking so LOUD on the phone, as if she is at home. i should have taken a photo of then and post it here la! luckily they left at ard 10 when it started to rain...

talking abt rain, i must thank this couple in front of me. the boyfriend is really kind to include me under their umbrella.


fireworks is quite... ok. quite abit disappointed ba.. maybe its cos the company i tot would be here arent here? everything was so diff from last yr ba...




Following that was the party at hao's home. was last to be there as i went to the countdown. watched movie and them playing games and fell asleep. but nonetheless, its being there that counts. =) went to mc for breakfast.

quotes: from [ChUa]

When we say countdown,
we're actually saying the countdown of all sorrows we've encountered,
and welcoming the happiness.

Happy New Year everyone!

That's it.. for this year..

And so, we all do the count down again.

end of year here again.. fast isnt it. just one year ago i am still whining at how sian tep is. now?

• i have breezed thru ipp peacefully, i even got the A that i wanted.
• reconcilled with someone whom i have been on cold war for 9 months.
• made new friends.
• lost some close frens thou.
• seen how a close friend can turn to someone who is close to stranger.
• and of cos, got the taste of being accused and could not rebutt back.
• tried a new job, started it with joy and happiness, and now, at the last day of the year, leaving it with no regrets and little joy.

school hasnt been smooth. so i wish that it would be better. for the final bits of it that is left.

i want to execise more. more healthy ba. ahaha.

i want to have a better health. it suck to fall sick.

thats it! i think the next post would be next year. so ciao~!

*****

失望

我不知道, 失望这两个字, 足以形容我的感受吗?


原来, 只需要三百六十五天, 就可以是如此大的鸿沟, 让我们从朋友变得如此陌生.

Rot.

for 13 days, i have been rotting at home. term break don't seems to be that good as i tot. not really going out due to some reasons, and also the non stopping rain makes the day so gloomy.. so condusive for sleeping!!! have been having late mornings... and the low energy level makes it even more difficult for me to start on those projs!!!! sighs.... somebody save me man~!

anw, last nite was the outing for belated fraw's bdae. walking ard plus dinner at puncak. everything was quite fine and nice.. we even took nep print! it was long since the last time we took... and the rain was big on my way home! haa..

******

雨好大.. 有一点后悔没带伞出门，但也已近半夜了，总不能要家人捎把伞到车站来吧？

好久没淋那么大的雨了.. 此时的mp3, 播的是燕姿的《我不难过》。感觉很对。雨水能洗去我心里的不快乐吗？雨过天晴后，我真的能不在难过吗？现实总不是如此..

我喜欢淋雨的感觉.. 尤其是独自一人，在夜深人静的时候。有人问过我，为什么会喜欢夜深人静这种一个人过的时间。

是那种凉凉感觉？是那种感触良多的feeling？我也不知道..

M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S

*****

its christmas. kind of boring this year. hhaha. anw, i worked on the morn of christmas eve.. even thou i am still not very feeling well from the suspected food poisoning i had. vomitted many times and cant eat too.. must be that log cake from head office! dan is down, stef is down, me is down, and we all ate that log cake!! haha..

changi airport always alot of budget for decos.. 3 christmas tree together..
very the nice!

anw, since i reached early and had about half an hour of free time before shop opens, decided to walk ard. hasnt really done so even after here working for like half a yr liao? then saw the "memories of changi" exhibition.. actually it was first held a few months ago jus near my shop.. but it was shifted to T1 before i went to take any pics.. second chance so i took some pics of it to share here!


we would have more or less a few pics at these places too rite?? thou now gone, they definately had become an identity of airport.. the trishaw and the world clock. even i have pics with these places!

15 years diff in between..

thanks jas for the present!! i dunno how she noe that i like doraemon.. she gave me a doraemon mini pouch! like it but i dunno what can i put in it leh. haha.

*****

last wed was the chalet with herry, jess and her mum. we went to sakura too!



we bought some glow in the dark sticks as well.. wanted to save some for them for the next nite but herry set on it and it is all ignited.. haha!



lastly.. the giant candies!