today's a tough day! haha.. went to cck cemetry to pray to my great grand ma and my grand father.. in the morn then uncle came and pick us up to meet up at grandma's place, and as usual someone's late. =)
nothing unusual. so everyone also doesnt want to say much already. haha. luckily this yr it doesnt rain when we were praying. otherwise we will all be drenched! but but! i dunch noe y all my cousins who were with me in the sun are tanned but i am not! so angry!! haha!
but anyways, every year i would always look forward to this qing ming jie. cos not only its a time for the family to gathers, its also a time we all go visit and pay respect to our ancestors.
erm.. got something i wanted to blog one.. sudden mind blanks and i forgot.. hahas! wil write more when i remembers wad i wanted to say.. hha..
Saturday, April 08, 2006
now i really noe wads short term memory! (names changed to protect person involved)
[kel] says:
eh nex week k lunch cfm nt huh?
f**king phone. says:
OKAY!
f**king phone. says:
ON AR!!
f**king phone. says:
HAHA
[kel] says:
then the 4 of us can have fun!!
f**king phone. says:
4?
f**king phone. says:
me, you, Z?
[kel] says:
haha u want to exclude C ar? haha.. ok with me too lol
f**king phone. says:
ohh i forgot about him
f**king phone. says:
lol
[kel] says:
....
[kel] says:
eh nex week k lunch cfm nt huh?
f**king phone. says:
OKAY!
f**king phone. says:
ON AR!!
f**king phone. says:
HAHA
[kel] says:
then the 4 of us can have fun!!
f**king phone. says:
4?
f**king phone. says:
me, you, Z?
[kel] says:
haha u want to exclude C ar? haha.. ok with me too lol
f**king phone. says:
ohh i forgot about him
f**king phone. says:
lol
[kel] says:
....
| You scored as English. You should be an English major! Your passion lies in writing and expressing yourself creatively, and you hate it when you are inhibited from doing so. Pursue that interest of yours!
What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com |
Thursday, April 06, 2006
today it rained.. just like yesterday.. but i still don't feel and cool wind on me!! instead its just humid and the oily feel.. (yuck!) after breakfast at 11 i stayed at shopping arcade and chatted with lijia and kailing.. havent chat properly with kailing for donkey months!
**kel and kailing at fusion.. thanks to fusion for lending the digi cam!
then after that we had lunch woth serene, kang an and chang da at mac. and i cant believe wad good deals we got! free lunch!!! mac is giving free beef fantastic with every meal cos they sold one million of it!! i nearly cant believe my eyes.. haha.. but i still got it! yummy!
**our feast!! note the number of free fan-tastics!
忘了过去一切的不快，或许我会活得更释怀。若不是好友，至少打打招呼，谈谈天，也总好过每天想着要如何讨厌这个人。还有两个，还有可能吗？
**kel and kailing at fusion.. thanks to fusion for lending the digi cam!then after that we had lunch woth serene, kang an and chang da at mac. and i cant believe wad good deals we got! free lunch!!! mac is giving free beef fantastic with every meal cos they sold one million of it!! i nearly cant believe my eyes.. haha.. but i still got it! yummy!
**our feast!! note the number of free fan-tastics!忘了过去一切的不快，或许我会活得更释怀。若不是好友，至少打打招呼，谈谈天，也总好过每天想着要如何讨厌这个人。还有两个，还有可能吗？
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
another nice post quoted from someone.. heart warming.. its kinda long so be patient and read!
***
Sibling Love
When I was born, everyone doted on me.
I was (and still am) my parents' first child.
I was my paternal grandparents' first grandchild.
I was a large, bubbly and gurgling baby (ok I made this up - how would I know?!), and although I was a handful, I also made my parents' day.
But.
Being a first child meant I was a guinea pig to my parents' parenting skills to.
Nonetheless, I was the gem of the family (very likely it was because there was no one else for the family to coo over).
I basked in the attention for 4 years.
When I learnt to walk, almost daily, my Ye Ye would go over to my place at Tampines and bring me kiddy-riding.
You know, those rides (kok-kok-beh) that move forward and back while the irritating children songs played repetitively after you slotted in 20c (now is $1).
For those who know where Tampines Blk 201 is, you would know it's somehow a circular concept. My Ye Ye would let me sit on each and every kiddy ride we went past, and after we complete the cycle (say clockwise), he would let me sit again, now anti-clockwise.
My mama would dressed me in the cutest dresses (yes I wore dresses back then) and parade me proudly.
My daddy would fly me up into the air and tickle me (irritatingly) with his stubble.
My aunts would coo over me and buy me toys.
Even strangers would ask to take photos with me.
When I was 4 years old, just started nursery, my mama would go with me on the school bus, giving me 濱濱米果, which I grew to love, even till now.
Yes. I was given THAT kind of attention.
So naturally, I grew into a little brat, and thought that such princessy treatment would last forever.
Good things don't last, do they?
When I was 4 years old, one stormy night, my Ah Ma and cousin came over to stay with me. I didn't know what happened, only that my mama (completed with her big tummy) and daddy went out, but I was quite contented because I was (surprisingly) allowed to play TV games all night long, when usually I wasn't supposed to.
Little did I know, what was to happen over the next few days would change my life forever.
My mama came home with a screaming bundle - my new didi.
I have recollections of going to this orangey-lit clinic with my parents, but for what I didn't know.
I was too young to understand anyway.
From then on, everything changed.
Although to be fair, my parents still treated me the same, but they were also very busy with the new baby.
Everyone who came over cooed at the baby.
I wouldn't say I was neglected, since I cannot really remember anyway, but I know, because of this new addition to the family, caused much anguish to me in the coming years.
While we both grew up, my immense dislike for Didi increased at an alarming rate. Even when I was 5 years old, I had plans to "flush him down the toilet".
I intentionally did things to divert attention to myself.
I poked him, I beat him, I pinched him, I made him cry, I did everything.
Only to have things backfire on me time and time again.
The more I did, the more people showered attention on poor innocent lil' Didi.
The more I did, the more I got scolded, the more Didi get cooed over.
The sibling rivalry grew more and more intensified when Didi started school.
Each time I made him cry, my mama would cane me. While I was howling away, Didi would stand in a corner, widen his teary super big eyes, and ask innocently, "Mama.. why you beat Jiejie?" *big angelic eyes*
Which only set out to make me feel even more hatred towards him, to the extent I started hatching little plans to hurt him.
I did so many things to him I cannot remember, but the one incident that really made me scared, was the time I shoved him intentionally against this rather short rosewood cabinet, about Didi's height.
Didi knocked against the corner of the cabinet, and his eye started bleeding.
Mama and Ah Ma rushed him to the doctor (not before scolding me, of course), and the doctor said if it was 1cm nearer, he would have gone blind.
I was so scared and guilty, I cannot even begin describe it now. (Even now, each time I see the scar on his eyelid, I feel immense guilt.)
I don't think I need to explain what happened to me after my parents came home, even though they were consoled by the doctor that everything was fine.
I was guilty, but I was also angry that Didi got more attention than ever, with my parents blatantly showing that they were protecting him from me.
There was also this time when Didi was about 6 years old I think, and he scolded me with a chao cheebye. I duly shouted and complained to my mama, who didn't believe a word I said. (He learnt it earlier during the day, when my Ah Ma shouted that at my house.)
I got scolded again for "lying", because no one believed the angelic boy would do such a thing. Indignant, maligned, angry, I carried out my "revenge" again - whacking him till he cried, which served no purpose because I got caned, yet again.
Throughout the whole of primary school, I kept my distance from him, and I had a totally rocky relationship with my parents.
Each time I whacked him, he would go cry to my mama, who would in turn cane me, and she would start going hysterical and quarrel with my daddy 'cos of me, and the next day she would yell at me and said it was my fault that I caused them to quarrel, and if they were to divorce she would definitely bring Didi with her and go away. I would feel so scared and beg her to stay. The vicious cycle repeats.
I was constantly threatened by her, that she would bring Didi instead of me. That caused my paranoia and insecurity, which stayed on with me even till now, and it finally took its toll on my latest relationship.
My insecurity was largely caused by the mindset that, even my mother don't want me, who else is obliged to want me? And I managed to convince and brainwash myself that ultimately everyone would leave me because I was a bad girl and I was not good enough for anyone (thus succeeding in pushing my ex away from me too).
In a bid to get my parents' attention back again, I did things to get attention. Attention I did get - but all the wrong ones.
I stole. I let my school work slip. I kicked my friend in the stomach. I further beat up Didi at every chance I got.
All that angst in a primary school girl.
I was from EM1, and back then, it was a big thing to be in the EM1 stream.
But my PSLE was only 239. The second lowest in my class.
Because I had slacked, and in the end, I wasn't able to catch up.
I knew my parents were disappointed. I have failed them yet again.
On the other hand, Didi excelled in school every year.
He was in a respectable school. He was a school prefect. He was first in class every year. He was first in level every year. He was awarded all sorts of book prizes. His report book always reflected good comments from teachers. His results was always perfect.
All of which, all the more contrasted the "failure" I was.
Needless to say, I grew repulsive to him even more.
*
*
*
It was until he started Sec 3, when somehow he changed.
By then, I had also started my Poly Year 3.
Somehow, we started to see eye to eye.
In the past, all the comments I gave him, he would retort that he thought my comments were useless.
But one fine day, I found a bottle of deodorant on his table, after years of telling him boys need deodorant 'cos they generally stink, and girls don't like stinky boys.
And slowly, I began to realise he really did take my opinions into consideration, though he did so quietly.
Which really touched me. Really.
If you are so patient as to have continued reading up till now, you must be wondering what sparked off such an entry.
Ironically, it was a very very small thing that unlocked the gate of emotions within me.
Just before dinner, Didi and I went to have our spectacles made.
He was choosing his frames, I was choosing mine.
The optician took out a few frames for him, and I kept throwing my opinions at him, while my mama kept telling me to shut up and let him choose.
Each time he chose a frame which he thought was OK, I told him what I didn't like about it.
Until I saw this pair of Levis frames and asked him to try it on.
Instantly, I told him it was the nicest, and it really suited him. I had expected him to say "SIAO. Branded leh!" and put it back.
Didi was never one to go crazy about brands (he is price conscious like an aunty).
He totally threw me off the orbit when he grinned loonily at himself in the mirror and said, "Yah. Nice. Ok lor. I take this one."
The optician gawked and said hesitatingly, "Erm.. this one really new arrival leh. Arrived last night only. Total would be $240 leh. You sure?"
He grinned again and said cheekily, "Yah. My mama will pay." and proceeded to check his eyes and all. (I chose a maroon frame from Levis too. Teehee.) And, I stress once again, is totally surprising because Didi was ALWAYS very anal about money, and he never fails to chastise me whenever I spent on things.
That's all. That's what made me so emotional. I was thinking about it in the shower and I burst into tears. It's like my brother actually (and finally) values my opinions.
I feel warm and fuzzy.
And I mentioned how he would always somehow cause me to be scolded or caned by my mama right? (One fine day he even learnt the fucked up way of causing me to be scolded - like when I knock into him purely accidentally, he burst into tears and say I beat him.)
Now we both gang up against our parents. Damn funny that boy.
Just now in the shower, when I thought of the fact that he would be enlisting soon, I burst into tears. (At this point Weili would say I 感情泛滥 again.)
I'm really really glad that now, we are finally on good terms.
(But I just hope he can stop being so fucking stingy - borrow $20 also kaobei me whole day and night.)
I love Didi =)
***
Sibling Love
When I was born, everyone doted on me.
I was (and still am) my parents' first child.
I was my paternal grandparents' first grandchild.
I was a large, bubbly and gurgling baby (ok I made this up - how would I know?!), and although I was a handful, I also made my parents' day.
But.
Being a first child meant I was a guinea pig to my parents' parenting skills to.
Nonetheless, I was the gem of the family (very likely it was because there was no one else for the family to coo over).
I basked in the attention for 4 years.
When I learnt to walk, almost daily, my Ye Ye would go over to my place at Tampines and bring me kiddy-riding.
You know, those rides (kok-kok-beh) that move forward and back while the irritating children songs played repetitively after you slotted in 20c (now is $1).
For those who know where Tampines Blk 201 is, you would know it's somehow a circular concept. My Ye Ye would let me sit on each and every kiddy ride we went past, and after we complete the cycle (say clockwise), he would let me sit again, now anti-clockwise.
My mama would dressed me in the cutest dresses (yes I wore dresses back then) and parade me proudly.
My daddy would fly me up into the air and tickle me (irritatingly) with his stubble.
My aunts would coo over me and buy me toys.
Even strangers would ask to take photos with me.
When I was 4 years old, just started nursery, my mama would go with me on the school bus, giving me 濱濱米果, which I grew to love, even till now.
Yes. I was given THAT kind of attention.
So naturally, I grew into a little brat, and thought that such princessy treatment would last forever.
Good things don't last, do they?
When I was 4 years old, one stormy night, my Ah Ma and cousin came over to stay with me. I didn't know what happened, only that my mama (completed with her big tummy) and daddy went out, but I was quite contented because I was (surprisingly) allowed to play TV games all night long, when usually I wasn't supposed to.
Little did I know, what was to happen over the next few days would change my life forever.
My mama came home with a screaming bundle - my new didi.
I have recollections of going to this orangey-lit clinic with my parents, but for what I didn't know.
I was too young to understand anyway.
From then on, everything changed.
Although to be fair, my parents still treated me the same, but they were also very busy with the new baby.
Everyone who came over cooed at the baby.
I wouldn't say I was neglected, since I cannot really remember anyway, but I know, because of this new addition to the family, caused much anguish to me in the coming years.
While we both grew up, my immense dislike for Didi increased at an alarming rate. Even when I was 5 years old, I had plans to "flush him down the toilet".
I intentionally did things to divert attention to myself.
I poked him, I beat him, I pinched him, I made him cry, I did everything.
Only to have things backfire on me time and time again.
The more I did, the more people showered attention on poor innocent lil' Didi.
The more I did, the more I got scolded, the more Didi get cooed over.
The sibling rivalry grew more and more intensified when Didi started school.
Each time I made him cry, my mama would cane me. While I was howling away, Didi would stand in a corner, widen his teary super big eyes, and ask innocently, "Mama.. why you beat Jiejie?" *big angelic eyes*
Which only set out to make me feel even more hatred towards him, to the extent I started hatching little plans to hurt him.
I did so many things to him I cannot remember, but the one incident that really made me scared, was the time I shoved him intentionally against this rather short rosewood cabinet, about Didi's height.
Didi knocked against the corner of the cabinet, and his eye started bleeding.
Mama and Ah Ma rushed him to the doctor (not before scolding me, of course), and the doctor said if it was 1cm nearer, he would have gone blind.
I was so scared and guilty, I cannot even begin describe it now. (Even now, each time I see the scar on his eyelid, I feel immense guilt.)
I don't think I need to explain what happened to me after my parents came home, even though they were consoled by the doctor that everything was fine.
I was guilty, but I was also angry that Didi got more attention than ever, with my parents blatantly showing that they were protecting him from me.
There was also this time when Didi was about 6 years old I think, and he scolded me with a chao cheebye. I duly shouted and complained to my mama, who didn't believe a word I said. (He learnt it earlier during the day, when my Ah Ma shouted that at my house.)
I got scolded again for "lying", because no one believed the angelic boy would do such a thing. Indignant, maligned, angry, I carried out my "revenge" again - whacking him till he cried, which served no purpose because I got caned, yet again.
Throughout the whole of primary school, I kept my distance from him, and I had a totally rocky relationship with my parents.
Each time I whacked him, he would go cry to my mama, who would in turn cane me, and she would start going hysterical and quarrel with my daddy 'cos of me, and the next day she would yell at me and said it was my fault that I caused them to quarrel, and if they were to divorce she would definitely bring Didi with her and go away. I would feel so scared and beg her to stay. The vicious cycle repeats.
I was constantly threatened by her, that she would bring Didi instead of me. That caused my paranoia and insecurity, which stayed on with me even till now, and it finally took its toll on my latest relationship.
My insecurity was largely caused by the mindset that, even my mother don't want me, who else is obliged to want me? And I managed to convince and brainwash myself that ultimately everyone would leave me because I was a bad girl and I was not good enough for anyone (thus succeeding in pushing my ex away from me too).
In a bid to get my parents' attention back again, I did things to get attention. Attention I did get - but all the wrong ones.
I stole. I let my school work slip. I kicked my friend in the stomach. I further beat up Didi at every chance I got.
All that angst in a primary school girl.
I was from EM1, and back then, it was a big thing to be in the EM1 stream.
But my PSLE was only 239. The second lowest in my class.
Because I had slacked, and in the end, I wasn't able to catch up.
I knew my parents were disappointed. I have failed them yet again.
On the other hand, Didi excelled in school every year.
He was in a respectable school. He was a school prefect. He was first in class every year. He was first in level every year. He was awarded all sorts of book prizes. His report book always reflected good comments from teachers. His results was always perfect.
All of which, all the more contrasted the "failure" I was.
Needless to say, I grew repulsive to him even more.
*
*
*
It was until he started Sec 3, when somehow he changed.
By then, I had also started my Poly Year 3.
Somehow, we started to see eye to eye.
In the past, all the comments I gave him, he would retort that he thought my comments were useless.
But one fine day, I found a bottle of deodorant on his table, after years of telling him boys need deodorant 'cos they generally stink, and girls don't like stinky boys.
And slowly, I began to realise he really did take my opinions into consideration, though he did so quietly.
Which really touched me. Really.
If you are so patient as to have continued reading up till now, you must be wondering what sparked off such an entry.
Ironically, it was a very very small thing that unlocked the gate of emotions within me.
Just before dinner, Didi and I went to have our spectacles made.
He was choosing his frames, I was choosing mine.
The optician took out a few frames for him, and I kept throwing my opinions at him, while my mama kept telling me to shut up and let him choose.
Each time he chose a frame which he thought was OK, I told him what I didn't like about it.
Until I saw this pair of Levis frames and asked him to try it on.
Instantly, I told him it was the nicest, and it really suited him. I had expected him to say "SIAO. Branded leh!" and put it back.
Didi was never one to go crazy about brands (he is price conscious like an aunty).
He totally threw me off the orbit when he grinned loonily at himself in the mirror and said, "Yah. Nice. Ok lor. I take this one."
The optician gawked and said hesitatingly, "Erm.. this one really new arrival leh. Arrived last night only. Total would be $240 leh. You sure?"
He grinned again and said cheekily, "Yah. My mama will pay." and proceeded to check his eyes and all. (I chose a maroon frame from Levis too. Teehee.) And, I stress once again, is totally surprising because Didi was ALWAYS very anal about money, and he never fails to chastise me whenever I spent on things.
That's all. That's what made me so emotional. I was thinking about it in the shower and I burst into tears. It's like my brother actually (and finally) values my opinions.
I feel warm and fuzzy.
And I mentioned how he would always somehow cause me to be scolded or caned by my mama right? (One fine day he even learnt the fucked up way of causing me to be scolded - like when I knock into him purely accidentally, he burst into tears and say I beat him.)
Now we both gang up against our parents. Damn funny that boy.
Just now in the shower, when I thought of the fact that he would be enlisting soon, I burst into tears. (At this point Weili would say I 感情泛滥 again.)
I'm really really glad that now, we are finally on good terms.
(But I just hope he can stop being so fucking stingy - borrow $20 also kaobei me whole day and night.)
I love Didi =)
thanks to my jiemei jessica and buddy angelia for tagging! haha.. anw, serene so poor thing! lost her hp.. right in front of our eyes!! dun brood over it already k?? =)
anw cos of her hp lost i accompany her to the police station to make a report.. hhaa.. first time i went to a police station..
but anyways, today is the start of the orientation for school of IT.. in the morn when i come, there are tonnes of people at the atrium. queueing.. so very reminds me of that time when i was a freshie first into nyp! bu zhi bu jue i am going to be year 3 in jus matters of weeks! so much have been gone thru in nyp.. i lost alot of things.. lost precious times... lost "friends".. but after i came into attachments i do made a few of them whom i can talk to one la.. so.. i just have to be more positive and brave through the rest of my one year here! going to be back to lessons already.. a bit 手足无措。我有一点不知道要用怎么样的态度和反映面对他们。 船到桥头自然直吧.. 反正该来的就会来，躲也躲不了！
anw cos of her hp lost i accompany her to the police station to make a report.. hhaa.. first time i went to a police station..
but anyways, today is the start of the orientation for school of IT.. in the morn when i come, there are tonnes of people at the atrium. queueing.. so very reminds me of that time when i was a freshie first into nyp! bu zhi bu jue i am going to be year 3 in jus matters of weeks! so much have been gone thru in nyp.. i lost alot of things.. lost precious times... lost "friends".. but after i came into attachments i do made a few of them whom i can talk to one la.. so.. i just have to be more positive and brave through the rest of my one year here! going to be back to lessons already.. a bit 手足无措。我有一点不知道要用怎么样的态度和反映面对他们。 船到桥头自然直吧.. 反正该来的就会来，躲也躲不了！
i got myself a new skin! and also a new tag board.. hhaha the old one too difficult to use already always hang.. so please leave comments now! haha..
jus now after i posted the previous post.. i emailed the author of the quotes and he replied! haha.. i was quite surprised and happy at the same time.. the thrill of knowing wad u have said is heard.. lol.. and being someone who is busy he still takes time to reply to someone whom he doesnt even noe! quite sad huh.. cos maybe some that i tot i am close with doesnt even listens.. but anw thanks to junli for replying! hee..
jus now after i posted the previous post.. i emailed the author of the quotes and he replied! haha.. i was quite surprised and happy at the same time.. the thrill of knowing wad u have said is heard.. lol.. and being someone who is busy he still takes time to reply to someone whom he doesnt even noe! quite sad huh.. cos maybe some that i tot i am close with doesnt even listens.. but anw thanks to junli for replying! hee..
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
again i see this blog that the writer writes super nice articles!! cant help but really want to 引述 some parts here..
"最近的生活，寂寞多了一点。有时真的有好多话想跟一个人说，但是就是找不到那个人。也不知道这个人是谁。"
***
"有时候觉得自己就像是一个小丑。尽力地去帮一些朋友争取，烦恼，到头来，却发现他们只是表面地敷衍你，其实心里一点也不在意。
那你为什么不早说？这样我也不必浪费时间。
所以，帮人尽力就好。我也不想浪费时间了。这段友谊。。。好肤浅啊。"
***
" 真的那么难吗?
真的好感慨, 为什么自己总是与知心好友...擦身而过.
今天所将分享的一切...不是这几个星期所产生的想法. 一直以来, 都秉持着这些观念, 直到今天...才有空把它写出来.
从小， 我都想拥有两个好朋友． 一个是和我步入教堂的另一半， 我的新娘． 另一个是走在我身旁的好友，我的伴郎．
以 前, 我是一个很重情的人. 可是经过几段较令人失望的友谊与感情...自己也有点疲累了. 不是绝望， 而是．．．不想再次主动了．因为每次的结局．．．似乎都是一样的．好几段友谊与感情都是这样了. 曾经朝夕问候．．．曾经互相依靠．．．曾经的轰轰烈烈．．．曾经的长相私守．．．
那都是．．．曾经．
到最后，大家真的变成最熟悉的陌生人．好恐怖对不对？有时想起曾经与对方说的话，我很不经意地问我自己．．．那份感觉真的存在过吗？ 怎么．．．我现在一点感觉也没有呢？我曾经那么深爱过她吗？怎么现在看见她握别人的手．．．自己一点感觉都没有呢？
经过这么多次的尝试, 我真的越来越容易选择放弃了. 你懂我的意思吗？ 好想麻醉自己的知觉．．．有时真想做个机器人．．．理智地分析一切．．．
我想．．．人类都想保护自己把？ 付出的越多， 要求越高．好多感情都是因为一点小事， 而闹得满城风雨吧？ 到了那个阶段，重要的已经不是解决当时的问题．过期的感情，或许是早期的自私而造成的吧．
任何的感情, 都是最高风险的投资.
可是, 不投资感情...这一切的筹码...还有价值吗?
爱情．．．可是最锋利的武器．．．也可以是最滋润人心的一切．我想．．．我还是无私一点好吧． "
***
this guy really writes quite well wor.. i learnt alot from his words.. seeing his blog is like reading a column.. and i am a frequent reader! haha.. =） share with me if u have any views!
"最近的生活，寂寞多了一点。有时真的有好多话想跟一个人说，但是就是找不到那个人。也不知道这个人是谁。"
***
"有时候觉得自己就像是一个小丑。尽力地去帮一些朋友争取，烦恼，到头来，却发现他们只是表面地敷衍你，其实心里一点也不在意。
那你为什么不早说？这样我也不必浪费时间。
所以，帮人尽力就好。我也不想浪费时间了。这段友谊。。。好肤浅啊。"
***
" 真的那么难吗?
真的好感慨, 为什么自己总是与知心好友...擦身而过.
今天所将分享的一切...不是这几个星期所产生的想法. 一直以来, 都秉持着这些观念, 直到今天...才有空把它写出来.
从小， 我都想拥有两个好朋友． 一个是和我步入教堂的另一半， 我的新娘． 另一个是走在我身旁的好友，我的伴郎．
以 前, 我是一个很重情的人. 可是经过几段较令人失望的友谊与感情...自己也有点疲累了. 不是绝望， 而是．．．不想再次主动了．因为每次的结局．．．似乎都是一样的．好几段友谊与感情都是这样了. 曾经朝夕问候．．．曾经互相依靠．．．曾经的轰轰烈烈．．．曾经的长相私守．．．
那都是．．．曾经．
到最后，大家真的变成最熟悉的陌生人．好恐怖对不对？有时想起曾经与对方说的话，我很不经意地问我自己．．．那份感觉真的存在过吗？ 怎么．．．我现在一点感觉也没有呢？我曾经那么深爱过她吗？怎么现在看见她握别人的手．．．自己一点感觉都没有呢？
经过这么多次的尝试, 我真的越来越容易选择放弃了. 你懂我的意思吗？ 好想麻醉自己的知觉．．．有时真想做个机器人．．．理智地分析一切．．．
我想．．．人类都想保护自己把？ 付出的越多， 要求越高．好多感情都是因为一点小事， 而闹得满城风雨吧？ 到了那个阶段，重要的已经不是解决当时的问题．过期的感情，或许是早期的自私而造成的吧．
任何的感情, 都是最高风险的投资.
可是, 不投资感情...这一切的筹码...还有价值吗?
爱情．．．可是最锋利的武器．．．也可以是最滋润人心的一切．我想．．．我还是无私一点好吧． "
***
this guy really writes quite well wor.. i learnt alot from his words.. seeing his blog is like reading a column.. and i am a frequent reader! haha.. =） share with me if u have any views!
last nite is the last episode of the campus superstar liao.. haha.. after catching it for 4 months it has came to an end.. still remember that time with ser ser, shaune and zibin go bishan see them at the initial stages.. haha..
at the end all of them cried.. cos it has came to an end and everyone will be going their own different ways.. even thou efforts will be made to maintain.. the feeling will slowly be different.. cos they wun be together so much already..
then after crying the finale.. they sang a happy song and all of them sang happily again..
well this is the pure and sincerity in the kids in them ba.. that makes these youths so jovial and special.. enjoying every moment in the things they are doing.. well some people says that they are too emotional and crying.. but i think its quite logical in this kind of shows lor.. youths like to make friends and they are very easily bonded in this kind of activities.. a group of them all with the same interest.. and when they proceed further down the competition they have to see their friends, one by one, being eliminated out of the competition.. thats very cruel.. and i think they are really strong to be able to take it so many stages.. haha..
remembered i was like that too... but i think i have passed that phrase already.. no longer got the drive to pursue my dreams so warmly.. i really missed those younger days.. maybe my life has a part to shape me to this stage also.. but i hope that one day i can find back the passion and drive in my life.. haha.. i feel so old when i see these energetic kids! and i am young too so i should have more drive!!! lol!
at the end all of them cried.. cos it has came to an end and everyone will be going their own different ways.. even thou efforts will be made to maintain.. the feeling will slowly be different.. cos they wun be together so much already..
then after crying the finale.. they sang a happy song and all of them sang happily again..
well this is the pure and sincerity in the kids in them ba.. that makes these youths so jovial and special.. enjoying every moment in the things they are doing.. well some people says that they are too emotional and crying.. but i think its quite logical in this kind of shows lor.. youths like to make friends and they are very easily bonded in this kind of activities.. a group of them all with the same interest.. and when they proceed further down the competition they have to see their friends, one by one, being eliminated out of the competition.. thats very cruel.. and i think they are really strong to be able to take it so many stages.. haha..
remembered i was like that too... but i think i have passed that phrase already.. no longer got the drive to pursue my dreams so warmly.. i really missed those younger days.. maybe my life has a part to shape me to this stage also.. but i hope that one day i can find back the passion and drive in my life.. haha.. i feel so old when i see these energetic kids! and i am young too so i should have more drive!!! lol!
Sunday, April 02, 2006
i am back! haha.. for the past one week its my block leave and i was away to china for exhibition! hehe..
and special thanks to..
father - for sponsoring the trip and giving me this exposure to the real international business world.
mother - for all the worrying bout me and make me feel loved.. haha!
sister - for finally realising my importance in home.. well even if its only when there is no one to throw rubbish.. haha..
anthony - for going through all the trouble for my air ticket! hehe =)
angelia, mabel, zibin, serene, weihao, ben - for remembering i am going and wished me bon voyage!
well alot of things happened during this trip and some wu liao people did made my day not very nice.. like the scary pig brain/liver/kidney steamboat and those wines and liquors those people try to stuff me with.. sighs.. really hate to help entertain those people but wad to do? lifes always doesnt have a choice.. but there are also the nice food and things to shop shop for me! quite enjoyed..
a lot of birthdays coming!
31-mar Angel
3-apr Michelle and Zul
17-apr Jenn
18-apr Gary
Happy birthday to u guys!
and special thanks to..
father - for sponsoring the trip and giving me this exposure to the real international business world.
mother - for all the worrying bout me and make me feel loved.. haha!
sister - for finally realising my importance in home.. well even if its only when there is no one to throw rubbish.. haha..
anthony - for going through all the trouble for my air ticket! hehe =)
angelia, mabel, zibin, serene, weihao, ben - for remembering i am going and wished me bon voyage!
well alot of things happened during this trip and some wu liao people did made my day not very nice.. like the scary pig brain/liver/kidney steamboat and those wines and liquors those people try to stuff me with.. sighs.. really hate to help entertain those people but wad to do? lifes always doesnt have a choice.. but there are also the nice food and things to shop shop for me! quite enjoyed..
a lot of birthdays coming!
31-mar Angel
3-apr Michelle and Zul
17-apr Jenn
18-apr Gary
Happy birthday to u guys!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
| You Are 60% Boyish and 40% Girlish |
You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be. |
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
last time i saw someone's blog about friendster.. this person loves to surf people's friendster accounts.. but one day he saw that his buddy's account don't even has a foto of him.. not even a group one.. he is so disappointed..
yea this is more or less the story..
well that time i din really understood that feeling cos it has never occured to me.. but then now i more or less know how it felt.. hee.. not a good one.. but well..
yea this is more or less the story..
well that time i din really understood that feeling cos it has never occured to me.. but then now i more or less know how it felt.. hee.. not a good one.. but well..
wah i jus saw serX2's i weekly and there is this comment from a reader that i bloody agree with.. haha.. anw its in chinese so encode to unicode if wanna see!
"《校园superstar》 让我不禁怀疑评审制度。XXX近期表现有一点退步，挑战快歌时，声音沙哑，整体表现差强人意。评判却以： 快歌不是她/他的强项， 继续给予高分。整体表现不错的，评审就吹毛求疵地挑剔他/她们出场时的小毛病。评判一再地替失水准的人找借口，而该鼓励的又不鼓励。是评判偏心，还是他们的观点太特别？”
"《校园superstar》 让我不禁怀疑评审制度。XXX近期表现有一点退步，挑战快歌时，声音沙哑，整体表现差强人意。评判却以： 快歌不是她/他的强项， 继续给予高分。整体表现不错的，评审就吹毛求疵地挑剔他/她们出场时的小毛病。评判一再地替失水准的人找借口，而该鼓励的又不鼓励。是评判偏心，还是他们的观点太特别？”
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
bahz~! jus finished presentation for mmD! toopid flash... and the wrong person i present too.. din even really see my flash and all she do is frown when i am presenting.. all the way k! i am one of the first few to present liao still lidat.. cant imagine those at the back how.. cos my english too broken issit? dotz~
anyway i am damn happy how cos flash is finally over! already din sleep a few days to do it already.. and think it wastes my efforts lor.. sighsighs.. can pass can liao la i already dun ask for much more...
last nite went out makan with yy and yh. there i saw angel at bishan.. muahaha.. din see her long liao.. then after some talk went back to eating.. then silly yh go and topple the tray and it dropped on the floor!! so loud hor so malu.. muahhahha.. me and yy laugh till dunno how to paiseh.. haha..
last sat also went out for small makan for benben birthday.. and they ate at thai express while i didnt.. and after that its dessert at swensons!
so fast its week 5 liao.. nex week i will not be around cos of block leave and the week after next when i am back, its week 7. so freaking fast can!!! and my dear tep is ending soon.. so sad.. muahaha.. cherish.. wad the little is left now.. for it may be gone forever once it has passed.. =)
anyway i am damn happy how cos flash is finally over! already din sleep a few days to do it already.. and think it wastes my efforts lor.. sighsighs.. can pass can liao la i already dun ask for much more...
last nite went out makan with yy and yh. there i saw angel at bishan.. muahaha.. din see her long liao.. then after some talk went back to eating.. then silly yh go and topple the tray and it dropped on the floor!! so loud hor so malu.. muahhahha.. me and yy laugh till dunno how to paiseh.. haha..
last sat also went out for small makan for benben birthday.. and they ate at thai express while i didnt.. and after that its dessert at swensons!
so fast its week 5 liao.. nex week i will not be around cos of block leave and the week after next when i am back, its week 7. so freaking fast can!!! and my dear tep is ending soon.. so sad.. muahaha.. cherish.. wad the little is left now.. for it may be gone forever once it has passed.. =)
Sunday, March 19, 2006
“the time must come to say goodbye, because nothing can live forever."
***
has been seeing alot of meaningful phrases my friends use as their nick.. one such above is from a sec sch fren.. serser's is also nice..
"小花朝气蓬勃地生长，只为获得更美好的阳光；小时候的我也希望快点长大， 但现在的我只想回到过去。。。"
谁不想。。回到那单纯的过去。。无忧无虑，简简单单。。？
PS: encode to unicode to see the chinese words..
***
has been seeing alot of meaningful phrases my friends use as their nick.. one such above is from a sec sch fren.. serser's is also nice..
"小花朝气蓬勃地生长，只为获得更美好的阳光；小时候的我也希望快点长大， 但现在的我只想回到过去。。。"
谁不想。。回到那单纯的过去。。无忧无虑，简简单单。。？
PS: encode to unicode to see the chinese words..
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
i think by now everyone around me would be freaked out by the word flash... haha.. all thanks to MMD ica.. personally i am very pek cek this morn cos there is alot of prob! eg. mask dun want to appear. words moves the wrong place. all sorts of nonsense. i nearly threw the com down from fsrc window. haha.. but again.. everyone is having the same old trouble.. so i shouldnt be so bothered.. haha.. must complete by this week cos its due on mon. summary and ps reports to be out soon cos its due after my block leave. project for fsrc. alot of stupid deadlines to meet!! sian.. but at the same time i find it quite challenging to run against time.. haha.. crazy me!!!
havent fall asleep in the bus till i miss a stop for a long time liao.. since tep starts havent yet.. but yesterday i missed the school stop and only woke up when the bus reaches amk interchange.. go home time also miss and today go home time again miss! sigh.. night night must sleep earlier wor.. i think i jus dun have enough sleep.. haha..
anw, mon was campus superstar.. so sian. very disappointed in who is eliminated. cos i think khim and yuyang is very good. for khim its very consistent that she sings well.. and for yuyang thou at first not really good, but i think he has improved alot!! since he sang feng i think he good liao lo.. but too bad he is out.. on the other hand i think that this round adriano and clara should be out.. clara i long long hope she is out liao cos i really think her voice weak lor.. and adriano.. at first i think he not bad too one.. but after that i feel he got abit pretentous.. abit act cute.. some of my friends think that his "cannot find the cam" look very cute.. but i am just wondering.. how come so many months of fliming liao.. still have so much difficulties to locate the machine EVERYTIME? but no doubt his singing is quite well la.. thou the last round i think he got try to cheat lor.. its suppose to be wu qu=u dance. but i see him like jump here jump there only.. not dancing.. well jus opinions la.. so ser ser weiling and shaune please dun be angry k? haha..
actually i dun really like this kinda shows.. cos think its not really fair la.. those really can sing ones out.. so far those i support their singing are khim, kenneth, yuyang, yvonne and one of the twins but i scared quote the wrong name so dun say which one. haha. i think kenneth most ke xi one lor so early out.. i think the revival he did well too.. but like i say too bad! but mum likes him too.. haha.. so maybe nex time you yuan he can sing for people again la! haha..
anw, mon was campus superstar.. so sian. very disappointed in who is eliminated. cos i think khim and yuyang is very good. for khim its very consistent that she sings well.. and for yuyang thou at first not really good, but i think he has improved alot!! since he sang feng i think he good liao lo.. but too bad he is out.. on the other hand i think that this round adriano and clara should be out.. clara i long long hope she is out liao cos i really think her voice weak lor.. and adriano.. at first i think he not bad too one.. but after that i feel he got abit pretentous.. abit act cute.. some of my friends think that his "cannot find the cam" look very cute.. but i am just wondering.. how come so many months of fliming liao.. still have so much difficulties to locate the machine EVERYTIME? but no doubt his singing is quite well la.. thou the last round i think he got try to cheat lor.. its suppose to be wu qu=u dance. but i see him like jump here jump there only.. not dancing.. well jus opinions la.. so ser ser weiling and shaune please dun be angry k? haha..
actually i dun really like this kinda shows.. cos think its not really fair la.. those really can sing ones out.. so far those i support their singing are khim, kenneth, yuyang, yvonne and one of the twins but i scared quote the wrong name so dun say which one. haha. i think kenneth most ke xi one lor so early out.. i think the revival he did well too.. but like i say too bad! but mum likes him too.. haha.. so maybe nex time you yuan he can sing for people again la! haha..
Thursday, March 09, 2006
i got my grades for msc yesterday.. wad can i say.. quite disappointed ba..
cos i think all of us shd have a guage how much effort we have put in in everything we all do.. and thru my personal guage, i think i MAY get something a bit higher ba.. but the fact turns out to be otherwise..
i am not bothered by the grade. i am not sad. ok with it.. cos i think everyone thinks a diff way.. wad i think i did alot may be otherwise to others. so now, i think i have done what i think is correct ba.. i think i have did my personally best.. and i will look into the comments on my and change to a better person! *sounds quite complicated*
in short, i accept the comments on me and i will change for a better me!
so sad.. cos 2 days ago i made some one angry. and that person doesnt want to talk to me now.. wad to do wad to do??? yuan liang wo ba.. dun think he will see this post cos dun think he sees my blog.. haha.. but truely apologetic..
cos i think all of us shd have a guage how much effort we have put in in everything we all do.. and thru my personal guage, i think i MAY get something a bit higher ba.. but the fact turns out to be otherwise..
i am not bothered by the grade. i am not sad. ok with it.. cos i think everyone thinks a diff way.. wad i think i did alot may be otherwise to others. so now, i think i have done what i think is correct ba.. i think i have did my personally best.. and i will look into the comments on my and change to a better person! *sounds quite complicated*
in short, i accept the comments on me and i will change for a better me!
so sad.. cos 2 days ago i made some one angry. and that person doesnt want to talk to me now.. wad to do wad to do??? yuan liang wo ba.. dun think he will see this post cos dun think he sees my blog.. haha.. but truely apologetic..
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
i think i am having big problems recently
i cant find the meaning of me being around
i keep on having this feeling that i am lost.. cant find my way ard in life
i cant find the recognition of my self that i need to have the confidence
cant find wad makes me worth to be around...
did alot of things. but nothing seems right.
very tired.. wad if.. we can stay at the yesterdays that we so longed to.. where nothing really goes wrong..
wad if..
i cant find the meaning of me being around
i keep on having this feeling that i am lost.. cant find my way ard in life
i cant find the recognition of my self that i need to have the confidence
cant find wad makes me worth to be around...
did alot of things. but nothing seems right.
very tired.. wad if.. we can stay at the yesterdays that we so longed to.. where nothing really goes wrong..
wad if..
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
was walking to my cousin's house last night with my shuffle. happens that the road doesnt have much cars.. and there is no one around also.. suddenly wanted to hear a song by jay... and before i know it, the next track is the song by jay.. "feng".
sometimes listening some songs at a certain time will make you have a special feeling.. walking on the road that has no one.. i suddenly felt that i am like sucked into the story of the song.. kept repeating the song..
sometimes listening some songs at a certain time will make you have a special feeling.. walking on the road that has no one.. i suddenly felt that i am like sucked into the story of the song.. kept repeating the song..
Monday, February 27, 2006
do this survey?
for me to :
noe how much you noe me.
noe how much i noe bout myself
http://kevan.org/johari?name=keLz87
please leave ur real name so i noe hu is in.. haha.. thanks!!
for me to :
noe how much you noe me.
noe how much i noe bout myself
http://kevan.org/johari?name=keLz87
please leave ur real name so i noe hu is in.. haha.. thanks!!
been into fsrc for one week and today is the first day of the second week. havent reached on time AT ALL! shits.. i must be on time tml morn!!!
anyway, today is a historic day, cos for the first time in my life, i played D.O.T.A... haha all thanks to yonghui yeah! lol.. shall improve on it cos the first time i play.. i died for about 10 times!!! lol..
jiayou to me la.. haha..
anyway, today is a historic day, cos for the first time in my life, i played D.O.T.A... haha all thanks to yonghui yeah! lol.. shall improve on it cos the first time i play.. i died for about 10 times!!! lol..
jiayou to me la.. haha..
Thursday, February 23, 2006
last night went to watch FD3 with jieying, peisin, fishball, miss chia, cindy and ben. felt this is a bad show.. not really scary.. just very gross with the way people dies.. imagine suntanning and got burnt to death? buying fast food at the drive thru and get crashed? got nailed into ur head while u were working?
about scary and disturbing.. luckily we went in without eating... =p
yh is sick. plus other factors he didnt went with us to the movie. jess and lixiang didnt go too.. so.. fewer people went.. not like that time k so happening.. haha.. anw, after that we went to the arcade there to play for a while.. =)
had lotsa fun.. had lotsa bonding this two days.. the night before, also went supper with yh and fishball. was already home and sleeping when dear mr lim calls and ask me to go out for supper.. and i went lor.. cos spending time togethr isnt a bad idea after all.. especially its someone whom doesnt have communication prob with u.. we had chicken rice.. tau huay.. grass jelly.. and then we make our way home.. really just a few hours but enjoyed alot.. the feeling of out in the night is very different.. so.. maybe there will be more to come? but i hope that my financial status can allow me to do so ba.. otherwise.. i might even have problems for proper means in the future..
about scary and disturbing.. luckily we went in without eating... =p
yh is sick. plus other factors he didnt went with us to the movie. jess and lixiang didnt go too.. so.. fewer people went.. not like that time k so happening.. haha.. anw, after that we went to the arcade there to play for a while.. =)
had lotsa fun.. had lotsa bonding this two days.. the night before, also went supper with yh and fishball. was already home and sleeping when dear mr lim calls and ask me to go out for supper.. and i went lor.. cos spending time togethr isnt a bad idea after all.. especially its someone whom doesnt have communication prob with u.. we had chicken rice.. tau huay.. grass jelly.. and then we make our way home.. really just a few hours but enjoyed alot.. the feeling of out in the night is very different.. so.. maybe there will be more to come? but i hope that my financial status can allow me to do so ba.. otherwise.. i might even have problems for proper means in the future..
Monday, February 20, 2006
woots~! my msc days ended.. my fs days starting.. i dunno wad attitude and feelings i should have towards this new stop.. there will be new people.. and i need more time to noe them.. luckily dise and shaune is there too otherwise cant survive.. haha.. to dependent on my friends!
today i jus came to fs sign in only.. then i went down to handover finance to the new batch and then stayed there for the rest of the day.. hmm how shd i say.. maybe i am already used to msc environment? haha.. i misses the people.. seeing the familiar faces makes me so excited.. when i saw cheryl and jess we 3 so elated.. lol.. then after that cindy come also.. haha..
i think since i came to IM.. some ones i noe here changed me quite a lot.. having them as my friend made it easier for me to forget some "unhappy friends" that made me sad for quite some time.. well.. from them i also learnt that i should take things easier and i really feel that i am fortunate to have met them. for they have pampered me so much as a friend.. they will help me when some1 tried to bully me too! haha although i noe this sounded quite childish but thats how i really treasures these friends. lifes wouldnt be better if i have not met them. abit paiseh to mention names but they are: yh, J, Fishball, Icecream, JYz, PS, xiao yao jing, cDy, bONey. jus wanna say u guys really made my day!
also made great friends thru involvement of events and festive.. people like christine, christina, angelia and so on..
so.. i hope the new stop would be ok too! but i will definately miss IM days.. those tough and happy days where we are one!
today i jus came to fs sign in only.. then i went down to handover finance to the new batch and then stayed there for the rest of the day.. hmm how shd i say.. maybe i am already used to msc environment? haha.. i misses the people.. seeing the familiar faces makes me so excited.. when i saw cheryl and jess we 3 so elated.. lol.. then after that cindy come also.. haha..
i think since i came to IM.. some ones i noe here changed me quite a lot.. having them as my friend made it easier for me to forget some "unhappy friends" that made me sad for quite some time.. well.. from them i also learnt that i should take things easier and i really feel that i am fortunate to have met them. for they have pampered me so much as a friend.. they will help me when some1 tried to bully me too! haha although i noe this sounded quite childish but thats how i really treasures these friends. lifes wouldnt be better if i have not met them. abit paiseh to mention names but they are: yh, J, Fishball, Icecream, JYz, PS, xiao yao jing, cDy, bONey. jus wanna say u guys really made my day!
also made great friends thru involvement of events and festive.. people like christine, christina, angelia and so on..
so.. i hope the new stop would be ok too! but i will definately miss IM days.. those tough and happy days where we are one!
Saturday, February 18, 2006
yest is the last day at IM.. so she bu de.. had a farewell at the new IM.. MSC Bazaar.. where we ate and talked.. then after that helped out at the cheers stocktake.. went home at 11.. i think in my msc days its the time where i go home from school latest.. haa.. but its enjoyable cos we all worked together.. so.. anyway its still in school so i can still drop by often... no need to feel sad!
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
was reading a dj's blog when i saw this:
"The question is: How to make a hardened heart...tender again?"
"Love is just that powerful yar? Love conquers all. But how many days...do we spend loving? We are so caught up with work...our own satisfaction...our own pleasures....our own possessions..."
meaningful huh.. so true yet so sad.. cos it shows we care too little for loved ones.. be it friends or everything.
"The question is: How to make a hardened heart...tender again?"
"Love is just that powerful yar? Love conquers all. But how many days...do we spend loving? We are so caught up with work...our own satisfaction...our own pleasures....our own possessions..."
meaningful huh.. so true yet so sad.. cos it shows we care too little for loved ones.. be it friends or everything.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
time is scary.
within 6 months, i lost two of my best fren in school.
i never tot i would lose them. not once in the times we were together.
i saw this phrase sometimes ago. it says: time brought us together. it is also time which tores us apart. will the time bring us back?
i always tot.. time would only bring people closer.. will it tear us apart?
dun think so.. i seldom had problems with time.. like my old time buddy, gary, even thou now he has moved away from me and we are no longer in same class.. we still find time to be together.. and thats how i maintain our friendship..
i dunno about what others thinks.. but thats practically how i treat those friends that i cherishes.. for those that i have used to but now no longer do so, maybe there is some conflicts. but if u think that i am still worth to be ur friends why must i be the one to take initiatives?
have been taking initiatives. sometimes even wondering if i have did too much. fishball says that i am the kind of friend that get friendships moving.. but sometimes i feel i rather be those that is being moved. mayb i expected too much reciprocation and when i dun get it, i feel neglected. maybe thats also the reason why we fell out.
maybe one day, all would be back together.
within 6 months, i lost two of my best fren in school.
i never tot i would lose them. not once in the times we were together.
i saw this phrase sometimes ago. it says: time brought us together. it is also time which tores us apart. will the time bring us back?
i always tot.. time would only bring people closer.. will it tear us apart?
dun think so.. i seldom had problems with time.. like my old time buddy, gary, even thou now he has moved away from me and we are no longer in same class.. we still find time to be together.. and thats how i maintain our friendship..
i dunno about what others thinks.. but thats practically how i treat those friends that i cherishes.. for those that i have used to but now no longer do so, maybe there is some conflicts. but if u think that i am still worth to be ur friends why must i be the one to take initiatives?
have been taking initiatives. sometimes even wondering if i have did too much. fishball says that i am the kind of friend that get friendships moving.. but sometimes i feel i rather be those that is being moved. mayb i expected too much reciprocation and when i dun get it, i feel neglected. maybe thats also the reason why we fell out.
maybe one day, all would be back together.
Friday, February 10, 2006
omg. see this old torn evelope?
wondering wad can be inside when i saw this!
omfg.
wonder how mabel found this but it is so amazing to see these fotos after so long. haha. i has almost forgot when these fotos are taken and it took me alot of time to recall.. lol..
time does flies.. its been ten years since the foto is taken.. sigh.. i have also aged.. haha!
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wondering wad can be inside when i saw this!
omfg.
wonder how mabel found this but it is so amazing to see these fotos after so long. haha. i has almost forgot when these fotos are taken and it took me alot of time to recall.. lol..
time does flies.. its been ten years since the foto is taken.. sigh.. i have also aged.. haha!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Monday, February 06, 2006
sigh.
today i saw someone. a used to be super close friend.
well its used to be cos something happened in the middle..
should have say hi but was jus too busy dashing around trying to finish my work.. dunno if i will be misunderstooded as being tao. haha. dunno if he will see this post.. last time he used to always read one.. but now i dunno lor.. haa..
many say i shd take initiatives.. but actually i am quite scared that history repeats itself. that is why till now.. i shuts myself alot from this friend. i dunno if he finds that i am at fault too.. cos this wound is never talked about.. it was kept in the heart.. kept and kept.. till one day i cant stand it and it exploded and we havent been talking since. maybe it should have been talked about since the early stage.. but it was not.. maybe that is why things have turned to this stage ba.. thats y i told ben and kailing today, i am actually quite scared to go back to classical. cos going back to class means that we will be meeting each other everyday. its not cos i hate u or what.. but its jus sometimes when i think back on the happy and sad times, i feel very sad. cos i dunt noe what has caused things to land to this stage.
will things turn to better? i dont know.. maybe it will.. but i dunt know how much confidence i can give to myself...
today i saw someone. a used to be super close friend.
well its used to be cos something happened in the middle..
should have say hi but was jus too busy dashing around trying to finish my work.. dunno if i will be misunderstooded as being tao. haha. dunno if he will see this post.. last time he used to always read one.. but now i dunno lor.. haa..
many say i shd take initiatives.. but actually i am quite scared that history repeats itself. that is why till now.. i shuts myself alot from this friend. i dunno if he finds that i am at fault too.. cos this wound is never talked about.. it was kept in the heart.. kept and kept.. till one day i cant stand it and it exploded and we havent been talking since. maybe it should have been talked about since the early stage.. but it was not.. maybe that is why things have turned to this stage ba.. thats y i told ben and kailing today, i am actually quite scared to go back to classical. cos going back to class means that we will be meeting each other everyday. its not cos i hate u or what.. but its jus sometimes when i think back on the happy and sad times, i feel very sad. cos i dunt noe what has caused things to land to this stage.
will things turn to better? i dont know.. maybe it will.. but i dunt know how much confidence i can give to myself...
Saturday, February 04, 2006
helo.. many days never blog properly liao lo.. this new year has been average.. the atmosphere has been getting less.. but i still try to go to some friend's house for visits so that it will have more qi fen.. haha. so far been to layyin, mabel, gary, bethia's house. still got a few more to come but i don't think ther will be any from my poly classmates except lijuan. =)
anw.. january is also the birthday month! hehe. my first present is from herry dear and jessamine.. a nice jacket. first celebration is with mr lee and xueyi and cheewai. and there is also makan with my sec school frens and cutting cake in school with msc peoples... haa.. this year it has been quite eventful.. thou some1 missed out on this occasion and "forgot" to wish me.. i try to console myself by saying maybe they are busy.. dunno lor.. i tot we were very good friends but u all actually forgot this day.. haha.. not that i want presents.. but actually a would be very happy if i am wished "happy birthday" jus a wish will be very good liao.. =) but since its passed then i also ok liao lor..
anw.. january is also the birthday month! hehe. my first present is from herry dear and jessamine.. a nice jacket. first celebration is with mr lee and xueyi and cheewai. and there is also makan with my sec school frens and cutting cake in school with msc peoples... haa.. this year it has been quite eventful.. thou some1 missed out on this occasion and "forgot" to wish me.. i try to console myself by saying maybe they are busy.. dunno lor.. i tot we were very good friends but u all actually forgot this day.. haha.. not that i want presents.. but actually a would be very happy if i am wished "happy birthday" jus a wish will be very good liao.. =) but since its passed then i also ok liao lor..
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
C.N.Y.
happy blessed new dog year to all my readers!
hehe.
i hope..
1) my frens will noe wad i am thinking
2) you would know wad i am thinking
3) can get wad i wants
4) everyone would be happy...
new year new aspirations.
been to several relatives places and some friend's place. its been fun and wonderful time spent. no doubt cny will still be the fav occasion i always like.
happy blessed new dog year to all my readers!
hehe.
i hope..
1) my frens will noe wad i am thinking
2) you would know wad i am thinking
3) can get wad i wants
4) everyone would be happy...
new year new aspirations.
been to several relatives places and some friend's place. its been fun and wonderful time spent. no doubt cny will still be the fav occasion i always like.
Monday, January 16, 2006
u knew about it.. but u still didnt come.. not even the next day.. the next.. the next.. or the day after..
i cant describe my disappointment.
maybe i am not some one significant enough to be named "ur friend". dun even bother about having me being in "ur team".
jus let it go. be contented and dun ask for too much.
i cant describe my disappointment.
maybe i am not some one significant enough to be named "ur friend". dun even bother about having me being in "ur team".
jus let it go. be contented and dun ask for too much.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
sigh.. today was too hungry and went on lunch abit earlier and came back a bit late cos south canteen is too far.. and then miss chia found out.. second time liao and i am so worried its gonna affect my grades. hope it will not please please!! please pity 2 hungry man.. we are just desperately hungry...
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
sigh. sometimes jus feel like a loser.. be it with friendship.. studies.. anything..
may not be always.. but quite often..
studies wise.. its wad i need to do right now but sometimes just cant seems to get it done right.
friends.. sigh.. i dunno y.. i think i am losing alot of them... mybe sometimes its due to some small small incident.. but i dunno y.. it jus makes me feel like u all are not taking me as a fren at all.. issit cos i am too sensitive? or am i too petty? or its just plainly.. i am just asking too much from them.. as a fren..
ms cai is quite right.. people changes.. maybe its just me who cant take the fact ba.. ggrrhh.. noe i shd get over it for more important things in my life.. but they are just too dear to me.. friends are not easy to make.. and they were once my very dear buddy... y??? y must it b "once"?
***
been raining since last sat.. almost like whole day rain.. for sat and sun its really whole day like it has never rained before... then monday finally got a bit sunlight to make myself less mouldy.. but its gone by noon.. and after that the pouring continues.. yest and today is slightly better.. got sunlight here and there.. but right now its pouring like dunno wad outside da window~! (11-1-06 2250hrs)
may not be always.. but quite often..
studies wise.. its wad i need to do right now but sometimes just cant seems to get it done right.
friends.. sigh.. i dunno y.. i think i am losing alot of them... mybe sometimes its due to some small small incident.. but i dunno y.. it jus makes me feel like u all are not taking me as a fren at all.. issit cos i am too sensitive? or am i too petty? or its just plainly.. i am just asking too much from them.. as a fren..
ms cai is quite right.. people changes.. maybe its just me who cant take the fact ba.. ggrrhh.. noe i shd get over it for more important things in my life.. but they are just too dear to me.. friends are not easy to make.. and they were once my very dear buddy... y??? y must it b "once"?
***
been raining since last sat.. almost like whole day rain.. for sat and sun its really whole day like it has never rained before... then monday finally got a bit sunlight to make myself less mouldy.. but its gone by noon.. and after that the pouring continues.. yest and today is slightly better.. got sunlight here and there.. but right now its pouring like dunno wad outside da window~! (11-1-06 2250hrs)
Sunday, January 08, 2006
O.M.G.
i can'e believe what i have heard. is singaporeans too fcuking fortunate and safe or what?
"so troublesome"
"waste my time"
reportedly what some people said when there is and emergency excercise this morn.
how do you know when there will be a bonb or what? still say government didn't warn and make the people prepared.. hello you noe wad is an EMERGENCY not? if can prepare then its not emergency liao lor! its a good chance to see if you are prepared for this kind of situation or not and all you say is this? and some even says it shouldn't be conducted at the morning when people is rushing.
excuse me, u think terrorist stupid one ar? of cos they will choose the peak period when there is alot of people rite? please use some COMMON SENSE... or borrow from someone common if you think you are too extraordinary to have... wahlau! i can't believe this is the kind of attitude some singaporeans have!!
maybe its high time singapore tries to enhance the social studies or what ever subjects that teaches people this moral... otherwise one day maybe there is a real bomb and the siren is sounded at the bus interchange, u will still hear some stupid fools complaining how troublesome it is.. luckily i am not there.. otherwise i going to say yong hui's favourite phrase.. "you want me slap you ar?"
****
anw.. this two days has been super hibernating period! luckily its weekend.. has been raining nonstop since last evening (sat).. now then jus stop for a while.. i think i spent about 70% of my time to day on my comfy bed in the blanket. and 60% of that 70% i am sleeping.. whoo~ long time hasnt had such good life liao.. rain rain i love you.. muahaha.. but tml is going to be bad lor cos nyp being the "low land" area is definately going to have many flooding places.. and IM being at level one inevitably will have some floods here there to at the corridoors.... haha.. play with water!
i can'e believe what i have heard. is singaporeans too fcuking fortunate and safe or what?
"so troublesome"
"waste my time"
reportedly what some people said when there is and emergency excercise this morn.
how do you know when there will be a bonb or what? still say government didn't warn and make the people prepared.. hello you noe wad is an EMERGENCY not? if can prepare then its not emergency liao lor! its a good chance to see if you are prepared for this kind of situation or not and all you say is this? and some even says it shouldn't be conducted at the morning when people is rushing.
excuse me, u think terrorist stupid one ar? of cos they will choose the peak period when there is alot of people rite? please use some COMMON SENSE... or borrow from someone common if you think you are too extraordinary to have... wahlau! i can't believe this is the kind of attitude some singaporeans have!!
maybe its high time singapore tries to enhance the social studies or what ever subjects that teaches people this moral... otherwise one day maybe there is a real bomb and the siren is sounded at the bus interchange, u will still hear some stupid fools complaining how troublesome it is.. luckily i am not there.. otherwise i going to say yong hui's favourite phrase.. "you want me slap you ar?"
****
anw.. this two days has been super hibernating period! luckily its weekend.. has been raining nonstop since last evening (sat).. now then jus stop for a while.. i think i spent about 70% of my time to day on my comfy bed in the blanket. and 60% of that 70% i am sleeping.. whoo~ long time hasnt had such good life liao.. rain rain i love you.. muahaha.. but tml is going to be bad lor cos nyp being the "low land" area is definately going to have many flooding places.. and IM being at level one inevitably will have some floods here there to at the corridoors.... haha.. play with water!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
FIVE GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN 2005
-I bought my phone (Yay! Dream fone yea!)
-I entered ARDC, I made fab friends.
-Plenty plenty of new clothes entered my room.
-Overseas trips
-Learnt some true faces of some people...
FIVE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN 2005
-I met jerk-like, byatch-like people. In summary, just some bad people.
-I brought my phone (it keeps spoiling.. irritating...)
-etc etc...
---(and in comparison, my good overrode my bad. So my year didn't go as bad as I thought yea.)
***
anw.. the past weekend was a great one! sat was NYE and I was at my cousin's house in the evening for some event that is organised by the RC.. the food is kinda nice.. lol... after that in the night I went out for some events with friends for the first time during a holiday! went to meet minzhen, lijuan, weihao and some others at clark quey there.. at first cant make it de.. but since minzhen and juan is going.. I tried to squeeze time.. then played monopoly lor.. me and juan and zhen tag team.. haha.. and we came in second... after that later in the night I meet up with jessica and yong hui to catch the marvelous fire works!! omg.. so fcuking nice... the whole shoreline is lighted by the fireworks can you imagine!!! and its a good 10 min! even better than the ndp ones... then hor we started to wallk walk around... before the 3 of ur headed to my home and ton.. haha.. ate bee hoon soup and we had our fav ribena.. a very bonding session for the 3 of us.. too bad cheryl cant be here... haa.. had a very fun night..
then on sun went to my grandmothers house lor as usual.. but this time while accompanying my grandma for mahjong i won near to $16!!! achievement sia.. haha.. then yest i went to parkway.. the gaint supermarket.. shop for cny mah.. better to start early.. so that there will be more time to prepare.. can u imagine how enthu i am waiting for cny to come i think i can faster go wash the new clothes i got.. and iron then slowly.. if i cramp till last minute i sure die.. haha... at parkway also saw ah loy.. lol.. coincident hor... at the count down i also saw jia chun, a old time secondary school buddy! he has sharp eyes to recognise me in so many people!! haha..
-I bought my phone (Yay! Dream fone yea!)
-I entered ARDC, I made fab friends.
-Plenty plenty of new clothes entered my room.
-Overseas trips
-Learnt some true faces of some people...
FIVE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN 2005
-I met jerk-like, byatch-like people. In summary, just some bad people.
-I brought my phone (it keeps spoiling.. irritating...)
-etc etc...
---(and in comparison, my good overrode my bad. So my year didn't go as bad as I thought yea.)
***
anw.. the past weekend was a great one! sat was NYE and I was at my cousin's house in the evening for some event that is organised by the RC.. the food is kinda nice.. lol... after that in the night I went out for some events with friends for the first time during a holiday! went to meet minzhen, lijuan, weihao and some others at clark quey there.. at first cant make it de.. but since minzhen and juan is going.. I tried to squeeze time.. then played monopoly lor.. me and juan and zhen tag team.. haha.. and we came in second... after that later in the night I meet up with jessica and yong hui to catch the marvelous fire works!! omg.. so fcuking nice... the whole shoreline is lighted by the fireworks can you imagine!!! and its a good 10 min! even better than the ndp ones... then hor we started to wallk walk around... before the 3 of ur headed to my home and ton.. haha.. ate bee hoon soup and we had our fav ribena.. a very bonding session for the 3 of us.. too bad cheryl cant be here... haa.. had a very fun night..
then on sun went to my grandmothers house lor as usual.. but this time while accompanying my grandma for mahjong i won near to $16!!! achievement sia.. haha.. then yest i went to parkway.. the gaint supermarket.. shop for cny mah.. better to start early.. so that there will be more time to prepare.. can u imagine how enthu i am waiting for cny to come i think i can faster go wash the new clothes i got.. and iron then slowly.. if i cramp till last minute i sure die.. haha... at parkway also saw ah loy.. lol.. coincident hor... at the count down i also saw jia chun, a old time secondary school buddy! he has sharp eyes to recognise me in so many people!! haha..
Saturday, December 31, 2005
last day of the year 2005.. looking back at it.. its rather "fruitful"..
learnt alot..
learnt how to work with people.. (like them or not u have to..)
learn how not to ask too much from ur "friends".. (still doubting the real defination of friends)
learn how to tolerate the fugly faces of some (otherwise how to work with them?)
learn how to take things easier.. (it'll give u a hell outta ur life if u dun..)
learn how to do researches.. rcp-in.. issue out..
a lot more ba.. too many to be listed here.. all the best for the upcoming year..!
******************
you all a team.. a real team..
you all did things that i could never get u all to do..
but now without me, you all did all that.
we had fun, we had joy, but will they be back?
maybe i am getting further and further.. and further...
learnt alot..
learnt how to work with people.. (like them or not u have to..)
learn how not to ask too much from ur "friends".. (still doubting the real defination of friends)
learn how to tolerate the fugly faces of some (otherwise how to work with them?)
learn how to take things easier.. (it'll give u a hell outta ur life if u dun..)
learn how to do researches.. rcp-in.. issue out..
a lot more ba.. too many to be listed here.. all the best for the upcoming year..!
******************
you all a team.. a real team..
you all did things that i could never get u all to do..
but now without me, you all did all that.
we had fun, we had joy, but will they be back?
maybe i am getting further and further.. and further...
Friday, December 30, 2005
woo~ last working day in 2005.. so fast one more year has passed... still remember having some resolutions at year start but few has been fulfilled.. so i shall combine the undone ones with the new one for the next year. lol.
anw, has been a not bad week at IM. so, shall enjoy while i still can!
2 more days then january liao.. haha.. hope the new year will be a better one!
anw, has been a not bad week at IM. so, shall enjoy while i still can!
2 more days then january liao.. haha.. hope the new year will be a better one!
a nice song i wanna share...
**
Lost Good Things 童话破灭
who love my downfall
and it's just too cold
you show me true friend
baby i was so so
you might as well call me up physically
you know, you got me only into extremes
and i can't believe it
and don't know what to think
sometime around it was so love-sick
now it's so sick
cause they ain't doubt love
your hint is apart
and the day between us wasn't enough
and i know
i feel good time's come
i thought they stay, things are done
and become word-made
angels came but they left you day
had you slip awaylisten now burning empty
still this can't bebut even now we're not that happy
hotel motel it's hot in hell free from myself
but now left with no home
i want you to knowi never would have all
figure out that when you came now
it could have been forever
now it does bring me down
the high now the low up and down we go
put myself too close got burnt night tones
it feels like i'm sinking in the dead sea
don't we care the space inside us so empty
it's like it's over before be gone
this song is over now so was i want
Sunday, December 25, 2005
ho ho ho.. merry christmas! this years christmas is kinda special cos its the first time i really celebrated it with friends... yesterday we went to lauren''s house! had fun but i was being bullied.. >.< lauren say i am not a guy. but sister to them... arrghh.. sigh. but the event is a great one! thanks evonne for organising.. and lauren for the venue.. kelvin, evonne, lauren, lip tat, serene, ser ser, debbie, shaune, eileen, maz, weihao was there at the great bonding session with plenty of food and games and vcd.. woohoo~!
after that we left at around evening and i headed down to my aunt's house for the family bbq every yr. great event nice food and alot of talking. then the presents also very nice.. hehe..
anw.. for the past week.. its alot of happenings in school.. once again i learnt how to work with peoples i dun like.. its really has been a learning journey here at tep. of cos other than this also learnt alot other things la haha. all i can say is team work and cooperation is important.. =) and i am glad that the groups o have been working with has been always quite bonded! like my ardc sicc team (ser ser, maz, jian an, jean), festive helpers (cheryl, yong hui, jessica, ms cai), finance (hasanah, cindy) everyone has been very kind to me even when there are times i made mistakes.. thanks for everything!
after that we left at around evening and i headed down to my aunt's house for the family bbq every yr. great event nice food and alot of talking. then the presents also very nice.. hehe..
anw.. for the past week.. its alot of happenings in school.. once again i learnt how to work with peoples i dun like.. its really has been a learning journey here at tep. of cos other than this also learnt alot other things la haha. all i can say is team work and cooperation is important.. =) and i am glad that the groups o have been working with has been always quite bonded! like my ardc sicc team (ser ser, maz, jian an, jean), festive helpers (cheryl, yong hui, jessica, ms cai), finance (hasanah, cindy) everyone has been very kind to me even when there are times i made mistakes.. thanks for everything!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
sigh. leopard just doesnt change it's spots.
today i heard it again. its THAT tone. that very tone.
obviously u think i wont be hearing it when we are at different place, but it so happened i heard it today ha. sorry HOR!
chey.. can't believe you are actually this thick skinned... but anw, its none of my business... i just purely hate it when two fones ring to the same melody.. and the melody is the fruit of my hard work. THANKS so much hor for fcuking up my day... muahahaha...
*~ don't step on my tail... you'll regret.. i wun even care who the fucking hell big shot you are or how rich you are.
today i heard it again. its THAT tone. that very tone.
obviously u think i wont be hearing it when we are at different place, but it so happened i heard it today ha. sorry HOR!
chey.. can't believe you are actually this thick skinned... but anw, its none of my business... i just purely hate it when two fones ring to the same melody.. and the melody is the fruit of my hard work. THANKS so much hor for fcuking up my day... muahahaha...
*~ don't step on my tail... you'll regret.. i wun even care who the fucking hell big shot you are or how rich you are.
arr!! dunno why i always cant tag at my own board.. want to reply to my friend's notes also cant.. sigh.. shall do it here..
kk-evonne:
yea! we will rock lauren's house on 24 dec!!
kk-xuehui:
haha.. i also got the idea from serene's blog.. lol.. must call her shi fu..
kk-zb,kl,deb:
hello miss you all too remember the lunch gathering we have!!!
kk-evonne:
yea! we will rock lauren's house on 24 dec!!
kk-xuehui:
haha.. i also got the idea from serene's blog.. lol.. must call her shi fu..
kk-zb,kl,deb:
hello miss you all too remember the lunch gathering we have!!!
Sunday, December 18, 2005
for a long time, i find that my classmates already dun care about my feelings liao... but after i came to ardc, i discovered that some of them still does..like ser ser.. still scared that i am angry.. i am so touched leh!! and kl, zb, and the rest of you.. you guys really made me forget about the other heartless ones.. haha.. cheers!
anw, now the heart charity is on. dunno why but nowadays i no longer like this kinda shows. first, i am utterly disgusted by the "very popular group in asia, world's heavenly group" that came to perform. excuse me lor please dont come out into the industry to play if you cant even sing live for a charity show. and its not the first time. dun really know how come so many fans support them. and it also makes me wonder whether the fans are fake ones, paid by the records company or their manager mr sun. *so happy ser ser shares the same thinking*
then the next segment that makes me wants to change channel is the segment on the muscle mans. dunno why mediacorp keep on putting this kinda performance despite so many in the public has find it so disturbing. issit got some physco people willing to pay u all alot to do it? siao ar. this time clip heavy things to their tigh and arms to lift heavy things. wahlao makes me want to puke. as if the artisists not human issit.. sigh.. think the needy also kek sim after they see ar...
tml, its going to be the start at IM, dun look forward to it. but life still has to go on.. like wads on ser ser's nick, I miss ARDC, but it's the time to say goodbye... everything in this world will go to an end.. even the nicest thing. but wads important is we cherish the good things that came out of it. to me, its the friends i made there and the happy memories i got.. i will keep them with me.. so cheers!
anw, now the heart charity is on. dunno why but nowadays i no longer like this kinda shows. first, i am utterly disgusted by the "very popular group in asia, world's heavenly group" that came to perform. excuse me lor please dont come out into the industry to play if you cant even sing live for a charity show. and its not the first time. dun really know how come so many fans support them. and it also makes me wonder whether the fans are fake ones, paid by the records company or their manager mr sun. *so happy ser ser shares the same thinking*
then the next segment that makes me wants to change channel is the segment on the muscle mans. dunno why mediacorp keep on putting this kinda performance despite so many in the public has find it so disturbing. issit got some physco people willing to pay u all alot to do it? siao ar. this time clip heavy things to their tigh and arms to lift heavy things. wahlao makes me want to puke. as if the artisists not human issit.. sigh.. think the needy also kek sim after they see ar...
tml, its going to be the start at IM, dun look forward to it. but life still has to go on.. like wads on ser ser's nick, I miss ARDC, but it's the time to say goodbye... everything in this world will go to an end.. even the nicest thing. but wads important is we cherish the good things that came out of it. to me, its the friends i made there and the happy memories i got.. i will keep them with me.. so cheers!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
today its training for the new stop. i am so disappointed.. so sad.. everything feels so meaningless.. i will be far away from the others.. the trainings wasted alot of times waiting cos they are very busy.. so we jus wasted alot of time and finalli i finished my "san ge hao ren" with deb and serene. the briefing at LT is just as long winded and not interesting lor.. i dun understand why they noe no one is listening and still want to make it so long.. bout 2 hours hor.. then starving.. and also very cold.. like i say overall is just pure disappointment la so i shall not mention more liao..
14 dec. the very last day at ardc.
tml, i will be reporting to the ops instead of mr lee.
no more ma guo ren. no more lu ren. no more xin ren min.
no more puzzle fighter. no more crazy taxi with serene, debbie, zibin, kailing.
no more ardc foto taking.
no more shaker fries with evonne.
everything now seems so colourless to me...
tml, i will be reporting to the ops instead of mr lee.
no more ma guo ren. no more lu ren. no more xin ren min.
no more puzzle fighter. no more crazy taxi with serene, debbie, zibin, kailing.
no more ardc foto taking.
no more shaker fries with evonne.
everything now seems so colourless to me...
Monday, December 12, 2005
i remembered a song by eason which suddenly i feel can represent the festive season now and my feeling. the lyrics is in chinese and must encode to unicode to see..
圣诞节
词:何启弘 曲:李峻一
我住的城巿从不下雪
记忆却堆满冷的感觉
思念的旺季霓虹扫过喧哗的街
把快乐赶得好远
*落单的恋人最怕过节
只能独自庆祝尽量喝醉
我爱过的人没有一个留在身边
寂寞它陪我过夜
#Merry Merry Christmas Lonely Lonely Christmas
想祝福不知该给谁
爱被我们打了死结
Lonely Lonely Christmas Merry Merry Christmas
写了卡片能寄给谁
心碎的像街上的纸屑
Repeat *
# 电话不接不要被人
发现我整夜都关在房间
狂欢的笑声听来像哀悼的音乐
眼眶的泪 温热冻结
望着电视里的无聊节目
瘫在沙发上变成没知觉的植物
Repeat #
#谁来陪我过这圣诞节
圣诞节
词:何启弘 曲:李峻一
我住的城巿从不下雪
记忆却堆满冷的感觉
思念的旺季霓虹扫过喧哗的街
把快乐赶得好远
*落单的恋人最怕过节
只能独自庆祝尽量喝醉
我爱过的人没有一个留在身边
寂寞它陪我过夜
#Merry Merry Christmas Lonely Lonely Christmas
想祝福不知该给谁
爱被我们打了死结
Lonely Lonely Christmas Merry Merry Christmas
写了卡片能寄给谁
心碎的像街上的纸屑
Repeat *
# 电话不接不要被人
发现我整夜都关在房间
狂欢的笑声听来像哀悼的音乐
眼眶的泪 温热冻结
望着电视里的无聊节目
瘫在沙发上变成没知觉的植物
Repeat #
#谁来陪我过这圣诞节
Friday, December 09, 2005
i think.. i am very brave.. cos...
i went to donate blood!! cant imagine how bloody scared and nervous i am k. since young i had phobia of needles and blood.. but this time lay yin gave me alot of courage and i went with her... woohoo~ three cheers for kelvin!!
i will upload the foto another time. dunno y sudden cant upload.. haha
i went to donate blood!! cant imagine how bloody scared and nervous i am k. since young i had phobia of needles and blood.. but this time lay yin gave me alot of courage and i went with her... woohoo~ three cheers for kelvin!!
i will upload the foto another time. dunno y sudden cant upload.. haha
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Thursday, December 01, 2005
thursday. day 4 of block leave. so sian.
nth much to do at home, rather than sleep and see how much fatter i've gotten. rena's friend says TEP got to eat alot and grow tall.. but all i am becoming is tall in the horizontal way.. sigh.. disappointment.
sorta miss ardc. everything in it. going to school with kl in the morn. chatting with mr lee. talking nonsense with ma guo ren and xin ren min. buying breakfast with rena. lunch with zb, jamie, kl and gang. xiu zhen and xue hui's cold joke and singing sessions. disturbing candise with chicken little.
2 more weeks and its going to end. nice times do flies.
nth much to do at home, rather than sleep and see how much fatter i've gotten. rena's friend says TEP got to eat alot and grow tall.. but all i am becoming is tall in the horizontal way.. sigh.. disappointment.
sorta miss ardc. everything in it. going to school with kl in the morn. chatting with mr lee. talking nonsense with ma guo ren and xin ren min. buying breakfast with rena. lunch with zb, jamie, kl and gang. xiu zhen and xue hui's cold joke and singing sessions. disturbing candise with chicken little.
2 more weeks and its going to end. nice times do flies.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
my left eye is swollen! its so painful.. sigh.. no peace for my health for the past month. had sore throat, migraine, and now theres swollen eye. sigh. sian.
last night, kailing sms me in the middle of the night for some help and i said ok.. and she actualli said "thanks!! will remember u forever de.." --forever. a word so familiar, yet brings so much pain.
once upon a time. 3 boys were cycling together in the night. soon, they were tired and they decided to take a rest. the 3 of them lay down at the bench, looking into the dark dark sky. one boy said: lets make a pact. we must be brothers forever! we are the best buddies forever!
but in the end.. i slowly lost the touch and bonding with you.. its a sad and painful process that i ever tot i would ever go thru. yet, it has happened. i dunno if there will be any improvement. or there would ever b.
but i will always remember that starry starry night..
last night, kailing sms me in the middle of the night for some help and i said ok.. and she actualli said "thanks!! will remember u forever de.." --forever. a word so familiar, yet brings so much pain.
once upon a time. 3 boys were cycling together in the night. soon, they were tired and they decided to take a rest. the 3 of them lay down at the bench, looking into the dark dark sky. one boy said: lets make a pact. we must be brothers forever! we are the best buddies forever!
but in the end.. i slowly lost the touch and bonding with you.. its a sad and painful process that i ever tot i would ever go thru. yet, it has happened. i dunno if there will be any improvement. or there would ever b.
but i will always remember that starry starry night..
Saturday, November 26, 2005
went to the SBM day and watched the musical.. it was nice.. have my friend inside. haha. luckily i get to go. otherwise i dun think there would be once i can go to sbm day..
the musical was touching.. well at least for me. even thou i am not involved and it had nothing to do with me, someone in it has been greatly affected. i think his live will be changed. in the musical, his life long dream of being able to sing in front of pple who appreciates his singing is being realised. in the part when he sang solo, there is a moment i nearly cried, but of cos i din. cos to see some1 do what he realli wanted, that feeling can never be described. i noe he has enjoyed it.. he loved it.. i think that is enough liao.. anyway i also wont be able to share the joy and happiness with him. his happiness will be shared with his close buddies.. and sadly, i am no longer one of them. i noe they went out to celebrate after the event.
and i noe he will be happy.
thats enuff. =) whether i am there.. it doesnt realli matter anymore.. continue to pursue ur dreams..
the musical was touching.. well at least for me. even thou i am not involved and it had nothing to do with me, someone in it has been greatly affected. i think his live will be changed. in the musical, his life long dream of being able to sing in front of pple who appreciates his singing is being realised. in the part when he sang solo, there is a moment i nearly cried, but of cos i din. cos to see some1 do what he realli wanted, that feeling can never be described. i noe he has enjoyed it.. he loved it.. i think that is enough liao.. anyway i also wont be able to share the joy and happiness with him. his happiness will be shared with his close buddies.. and sadly, i am no longer one of them. i noe they went out to celebrate after the event.
and i noe he will be happy.
thats enuff. =) whether i am there.. it doesnt realli matter anymore.. continue to pursue ur dreams..
Thursday, November 24, 2005
~~PERSONAL SELLING~~
hello.. everyone help help support me hor.. i have to sell some things for a project at my attachment. if u all want contact me k? can use as christmas present too.. ur helps is very appreciated..
*famous amos cookies
120gm: $8.95
200gm: $9.13
210gm: $13.46
220gm: $12.56 (tin box)
550gm: $28.46 (tin box)
*foodedge gourmet
almond macaroons 300gm: $9.60
checkerboard butter 300gm: $8.80
cinnamon stars 300gm: $9.93
hazelnut crescent 300gm: $9.60
walnut shortbread 300gm: $8.40
plain butter 300gm: $8.00
choc almond butter 300gm: $8.80
christmas mixpack 300gm: $9.60
log cake blackforest/triple choc 500gm: $17.33
log cake fruit 400gm: $10.67
everyone helo support k.. pls contact me on wad u want in this two days.. haha thanks thanks alot i appreciate all ur help..
hello.. everyone help help support me hor.. i have to sell some things for a project at my attachment. if u all want contact me k? can use as christmas present too.. ur helps is very appreciated..
*famous amos cookies
120gm: $8.95
200gm: $9.13
210gm: $13.46
220gm: $12.56 (tin box)
550gm: $28.46 (tin box)
*foodedge gourmet
almond macaroons 300gm: $9.60
checkerboard butter 300gm: $8.80
cinnamon stars 300gm: $9.93
hazelnut crescent 300gm: $9.60
walnut shortbread 300gm: $8.40
plain butter 300gm: $8.00
choc almond butter 300gm: $8.80
christmas mixpack 300gm: $9.60
log cake blackforest/triple choc 500gm: $17.33
log cake fruit 400gm: $10.67
everyone helo support k.. pls contact me on wad u want in this two days.. haha thanks thanks alot i appreciate all ur help..
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
had a wonderful day today at ibrc! wif a lot of foto taking with ser ser, zibin, kailing and joyce.. lol.. here are some of them! *PS:i think we realli can be the nyp models! lol*
>serious discussion work
>
our territory!
>
d hard working guys!
>
milo break!~
>
advertise for milo..
>
da hardworking nerds..
>
working at ibrc
>serious discussion work
>
.jpg)
our territory!>
.jpg)
d hard working guys!>
.jpg)
milo break!~>
.jpg)
advertise for milo..>
.jpg)
da hardworking nerds..>
.jpg)
working at ibrc
hello everyone. its "kelvin-clearing-his-name" time again! *haha hasnt had this segment for a long long time..*
1) last minute event
yes it is. it is only organised the day before it happened. and excuse me i said unorganised. not POORLY organised! i am not so nasty k?
2) all you ungrateful people
no i am not one. i smsed angi happy birthday early in the morn. we organised a sentosa trip to celerate. how ungrate am i can u explain?
3) on my birthday
ahhem. its you but not me who mentioned my birthday. remember? i said that u asked me "you also dont want to spend ur birthday alone rite?" i was just stating a fact - i was alone. wads wrong with this remark? i am not ironic. its you. cos u brought up this issue. i should be the one asking, wad has it got to do with my birthday?
4) selfish friend who jus take but not give
i have a clear conscience that i am at least not a bad friend. i turned up for my friend's birthday when i could! i wouldnt say i am always one, cos i am not a saint! we tried to organise a sentosa trip! please dont point finger at others, cos when you do that, 3 of ur other finger is pointed at urself.
5) Frisbee during TEP
hello.. its a school event. and i need to exercise mind you. Anw its really fun!
6) think of you being tired
only you can tired ar? please try to recall wad u say to me when i say i am tired k. we are all schooling people. every1 is tired. but we still made an effort to turn up! of cos i GOT think about u being tired cos i am! but anyone tot of me? when i fall sick that day?
7) repeatedly sms
i receive 1 sms and 1 fone call. thank you.
8) disappointing
so am i. i am the attitude one wad. i am the bad tempered one wad.
no diff. if you are so not disappointing y u cant turn up for the sat event? explain!!!
if there isnt this episode i wud b going to the sentosa event in the morning even when i have a wedding dinner to attend in the nite. no saying this to try to be the good guy but its realli wad i planned. herry is the witness.
*this entry is not wrote to blame anyone. i jus want to do some clarifying. not pushing blame or wad so ever!
1) last minute event
yes it is. it is only organised the day before it happened. and excuse me i said unorganised. not POORLY organised! i am not so nasty k?
2) all you ungrateful people
no i am not one. i smsed angi happy birthday early in the morn. we organised a sentosa trip to celerate. how ungrate am i can u explain?
3) on my birthday
ahhem. its you but not me who mentioned my birthday. remember? i said that u asked me "you also dont want to spend ur birthday alone rite?" i was just stating a fact - i was alone. wads wrong with this remark? i am not ironic. its you. cos u brought up this issue. i should be the one asking, wad has it got to do with my birthday?
4) selfish friend who jus take but not give
i have a clear conscience that i am at least not a bad friend. i turned up for my friend's birthday when i could! i wouldnt say i am always one, cos i am not a saint! we tried to organise a sentosa trip! please dont point finger at others, cos when you do that, 3 of ur other finger is pointed at urself.
5) Frisbee during TEP
hello.. its a school event. and i need to exercise mind you. Anw its really fun!
6) think of you being tired
only you can tired ar? please try to recall wad u say to me when i say i am tired k. we are all schooling people. every1 is tired. but we still made an effort to turn up! of cos i GOT think about u being tired cos i am! but anyone tot of me? when i fall sick that day?
7) repeatedly sms
i receive 1 sms and 1 fone call. thank you.
8) disappointing
so am i. i am the attitude one wad. i am the bad tempered one wad.
no diff. if you are so not disappointing y u cant turn up for the sat event? explain!!!
if there isnt this episode i wud b going to the sentosa event in the morning even when i have a wedding dinner to attend in the nite. no saying this to try to be the good guy but its realli wad i planned. herry is the witness.
*this entry is not wrote to blame anyone. i jus want to do some clarifying. not pushing blame or wad so ever!
Friday, November 18, 2005
"i can't believe you are not going."
thats all i heard after i told u i hurt my hand. u din even ask me if i was ok. u jus turned and walk away.
thats the reason i dont want to talk to you ok? regarding y i din talk to "d", please refer to my previous entry.
anw, on y i hurt my hand. i think i hurt during the frisbee game this afternoon. its a sort of games organised by sw peeps. and our group of ardc+bpos+mrc people got to play a game of frisbee. its the first time i play *gasp!* and its rather fun.. as usual like i play basketball i always panic when the ball/frisbee got into my hands.. as if they are bombs.. haha.. but the frisbee game this afternoon is realli fun i can say. hoped there is more but dun think so liao.. haha..
been a long time since i sweat.. and its really alot! loved the feeling.. realli missed it.. remember my sec school days when i wud still play bball with gary.. and also the daily jogging with bethia.. aw..
after sch went out to town for angi's birthday! got her a barney toy and a keychain with her name.. ate at friends @ cine..
thats all i heard after i told u i hurt my hand. u din even ask me if i was ok. u jus turned and walk away.
thats the reason i dont want to talk to you ok? regarding y i din talk to "d", please refer to my previous entry.
anw, on y i hurt my hand. i think i hurt during the frisbee game this afternoon. its a sort of games organised by sw peeps. and our group of ardc+bpos+mrc people got to play a game of frisbee. its the first time i play *gasp!* and its rather fun.. as usual like i play basketball i always panic when the ball/frisbee got into my hands.. as if they are bombs.. haha.. but the frisbee game this afternoon is realli fun i can say. hoped there is more but dun think so liao.. haha..
been a long time since i sweat.. and its really alot! loved the feeling.. realli missed it.. remember my sec school days when i wud still play bball with gary.. and also the daily jogging with bethia.. aw..
after sch went out to town for angi's birthday! got her a barney toy and a keychain with her name.. ate at friends @ cine..
Thursday, November 17, 2005
now wat. i got pple telling me "if its ur birthday u also don't want to be alone rite?"
excuse me. fyi, i was sleeping at home for my birthday this yr. and you didnt sms to wish me. so to whoever said this, pls take note. u noe i hate it when pple like to criticise others but they didnt want to look at their own actions.
its not that i dont want to make it an event and be a selfish friend who just want to take but not give. but everything is so unorganised. when i on my way home after a hard day of tep and u want me to alight bus and go town? everything must organise mah. we are not the worm in each other;s body and we dont noe wad each other is thinking.
excuse me. fyi, i was sleeping at home for my birthday this yr. and you didnt sms to wish me. so to whoever said this, pls take note. u noe i hate it when pple like to criticise others but they didnt want to look at their own actions.
its not that i dont want to make it an event and be a selfish friend who just want to take but not give. but everything is so unorganised. when i on my way home after a hard day of tep and u want me to alight bus and go town? everything must organise mah. we are not the worm in each other;s body and we dont noe wad each other is thinking.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
sigh.. so bad luck.. cos of watching a taiwan drama in school i got framed for "encoding it wih password that even the administrator cant delete it". siao. jus cos my admin number is there means i do one? excuse me lor.. the school system how sucks is evry1 know one lo. always ask me log out. then some one else come and do how i do my project? supply us with more computers la!
Friday, November 11, 2005
taken from zaobao.com written by one of my favourite authors. his articles often can make me feel the same.. dated 9 nov 05.
*to view please encode to unicode*
主动被动 ● 吴庆康
有时候约朋友会约到有点不是味道，不是有工作，就是在国外，要不然就是已经被别人约去。
最“气馁”的是，总是自己主动约人，朋友几乎从来没有约过我。
啊，为什么总是我那么主动，别人那么被动？是因为性格？还是因为习惯？是因为不觉得有需要？还是因为有别人更重要？
我不是计较，只是认为不论是朋友也好，亲戚也好，同事也好，只要是有“你和我”双方存在的一种关系，双方的交往应该是双向，而不是完全主动或完全被动的。
其实我已经很久很久没有因为朋友而发牢骚，不是没有牢骚，只是近年情绪稍微控制得好，学会了以更宽容更大量的态度对朋友，尤其是当自己也减少了花在朋友身上的时间以后，真的觉得没有谁会真正亏欠谁，一切都是自然而然发展，纵使有牢骚，也学着收起，然后淡忘。
但这不表示我对朋友已经没有要求，因为基本上我依然还是“我的朋友我的同学我最爱的一切”的那个人。
我需要的不只是那个当我的电脑出事马上会飞奔过来为我解决问题的朋友。我需要的也不只是那个只有在重大场合才会碰到面的朋友。我需要的更不是那个只有在我打电话发简讯过去后才来问我最近怎么样的朋友。
我觉得我需要的是一个时不时可以主动表示对我的关心的朋友，就像我常常主动问候朋友一样。这样的要求可能已经算很多，但事实上是，我对某些事情在某种程度上依然相当传统，还没有习惯只能通过网上日记的方式知道朋友的动向，了解朋友的心情。
因为很多事情还是需要看得见摸得到，而不仅是感觉得到而已。
我完全不介意全权主动表示对一些在乎的人的关心，但当对方从来没有主动过，时间一久，我难免会开始质疑自己的主动是否过分，别人是否需要，然后开始怀疑和猜测对方怎么想，考虑是否需要自我检讨，还别人一些空间。
这让我想起一些想得太多的人，在过年过节的时候，亲戚的关心问候往往会被视为八卦。而当这种情绪不断延续，以致有一天亲戚为了“避嫌”再也不主动的时候，另一方又开始猜测怎么别人那么久都不与自家联络，是不是对方不再关心，或是感情是否已经终结。我们是不是都想太多了，当我们主动表示关心，为什么不能够是真的关心？为何需要担心对方会否怀疑自己是否有不良动机？
原本很简单的事，有时候会因为这种主动被动的关系而变得复杂，而最遗憾的是，当你发觉了，认为需要弥补了，往往已经太迟。
当然，有些人天生被动，有些人坚决认为关心不需要挂在嘴边，只要常在心里头挂念，也就是有心。但如果在不需要花太多劲的情况下主动一下表现你的在乎，把关系变得更融洽，为什么不？
就算是做爱，也没有理由一个人永远主动，另一个人永远被动那么单向交通吧？
我承认我对友情仍然相当饥渴，不过当我主动到连自己都觉得饥渴得过分的时候，我会有种不如渴死算了的冲动。
*to view please encode to unicode*
主动被动 ● 吴庆康
有时候约朋友会约到有点不是味道，不是有工作，就是在国外，要不然就是已经被别人约去。
最“气馁”的是，总是自己主动约人，朋友几乎从来没有约过我。
啊，为什么总是我那么主动，别人那么被动？是因为性格？还是因为习惯？是因为不觉得有需要？还是因为有别人更重要？
我不是计较，只是认为不论是朋友也好，亲戚也好，同事也好，只要是有“你和我”双方存在的一种关系，双方的交往应该是双向，而不是完全主动或完全被动的。
其实我已经很久很久没有因为朋友而发牢骚，不是没有牢骚，只是近年情绪稍微控制得好，学会了以更宽容更大量的态度对朋友，尤其是当自己也减少了花在朋友身上的时间以后，真的觉得没有谁会真正亏欠谁，一切都是自然而然发展，纵使有牢骚，也学着收起，然后淡忘。
但这不表示我对朋友已经没有要求，因为基本上我依然还是“我的朋友我的同学我最爱的一切”的那个人。
我需要的不只是那个当我的电脑出事马上会飞奔过来为我解决问题的朋友。我需要的也不只是那个只有在重大场合才会碰到面的朋友。我需要的更不是那个只有在我打电话发简讯过去后才来问我最近怎么样的朋友。
我觉得我需要的是一个时不时可以主动表示对我的关心的朋友，就像我常常主动问候朋友一样。这样的要求可能已经算很多，但事实上是，我对某些事情在某种程度上依然相当传统，还没有习惯只能通过网上日记的方式知道朋友的动向，了解朋友的心情。
因为很多事情还是需要看得见摸得到，而不仅是感觉得到而已。
我完全不介意全权主动表示对一些在乎的人的关心，但当对方从来没有主动过，时间一久，我难免会开始质疑自己的主动是否过分，别人是否需要，然后开始怀疑和猜测对方怎么想，考虑是否需要自我检讨，还别人一些空间。
这让我想起一些想得太多的人，在过年过节的时候，亲戚的关心问候往往会被视为八卦。而当这种情绪不断延续，以致有一天亲戚为了“避嫌”再也不主动的时候，另一方又开始猜测怎么别人那么久都不与自家联络，是不是对方不再关心，或是感情是否已经终结。我们是不是都想太多了，当我们主动表示关心，为什么不能够是真的关心？为何需要担心对方会否怀疑自己是否有不良动机？
原本很简单的事，有时候会因为这种主动被动的关系而变得复杂，而最遗憾的是，当你发觉了，认为需要弥补了，往往已经太迟。
当然，有些人天生被动，有些人坚决认为关心不需要挂在嘴边，只要常在心里头挂念，也就是有心。但如果在不需要花太多劲的情况下主动一下表现你的在乎，把关系变得更融洽，为什么不？
就算是做爱，也没有理由一个人永远主动，另一个人永远被动那么单向交通吧？
我承认我对友情仍然相当饥渴，不过当我主动到连自己都觉得饥渴得过分的时候，我会有种不如渴死算了的冲动。
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Some lyrics that has made an impact to my life... meaningful words that have accompanied me thru happy and tough times..
*to c pls encode to unicode..*
~石康军 》 黑夜过后
曲:石康军词:李曈
我是说真的 你如果累了
别犹豫随时都 能来找我
我不善言 语但愿意陪你
让你至少不孤单 渡过难眠的夜晚
不管夜多漫长 天终究会明亮
黑夜过後第一道阳光 是为了融化你心中的霜
闹过哭过当力气全耗光 发现你不过又爱了一场
黑夜过後的另一个早上 是最後一次和他说晚安
你要相信你比想像勇敢 逃离夜的捆绑
奔向日出的方向(像夜会过天终究会再亮)
~洪俊扬 》 Guardian Angel
是否记得 守护天使的游戏
从我抽到你的卡片起
不再是一个人的回忆
或许未来有快乐也有艰辛
我会把你紧抱在怀里
永远不让你为爱哭泣
如果天空只剩最后一颗闪烁的星
我会让它为你照亮孤寂
让幸福为你指引
总有一天你会看到 guardian angel 降临
那是我的心一直在守护着你
天使它一定能够感应
thats all so far.. update soon..
*to c pls encode to unicode..*
~石康军 》 黑夜过后
曲:石康军词:李曈
我是说真的 你如果累了
别犹豫随时都 能来找我
我不善言 语但愿意陪你
让你至少不孤单 渡过难眠的夜晚
不管夜多漫长 天终究会明亮
黑夜过後第一道阳光 是为了融化你心中的霜
闹过哭过当力气全耗光 发现你不过又爱了一场
黑夜过後的另一个早上 是最後一次和他说晚安
你要相信你比想像勇敢 逃离夜的捆绑
奔向日出的方向(像夜会过天终究会再亮)
~洪俊扬 》 Guardian Angel
是否记得 守护天使的游戏
从我抽到你的卡片起
不再是一个人的回忆
或许未来有快乐也有艰辛
我会把你紧抱在怀里
永远不让你为爱哭泣
如果天空只剩最后一颗闪烁的星
我会让它为你照亮孤寂
让幸福为你指引
总有一天你会看到 guardian angel 降临
那是我的心一直在守护着你
天使它一定能够感应
thats all so far.. update soon..
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ooh i do love this jacket... sometimes back happen to c it at u2. cost 67. other places like heeren sell 100+. then when i went to hong kong rite i saw it at ard 40 only! but in the end i also din noe y i didnt buy it.. sigh.. now then regret... got quite a few colors.. like beige.. khakis color.. hope i can get hold of it soon!
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
TO THE CRAZY IDIOT WHO IS TOTALLY UNCOUTH, NO MANNERS THINK-BIG, ACT-BIG AND THINK-U-R-BIGSHOT BRAINLESS FREAK!
2 days ago i was uploading some tones to my fone and this GUY happen to pass by and heard me sending them to 2 of my frens. he wanted but i didnt reply..
1st: i am not that close to you.
2nd: since i am nt close y shd i send to you? dont act good friend can!
and after that i was away to make some call.. u actually snatched the fone from my fren and sent the tones to yourself even when others tell you not to open it cos of their personal items.. *FUCK!*
why do when others already tell you dont? and guess wat? after that he even say my fren.. "you very selfish leh we should share" goodness sake... pls lor still got the cheek to say this after u did such a thing! who wants to share with you? nobody say want k.. and u actually stole it yourself.. bu wen zi qu jiu shi tou! didnt know educated and RICH people will still do such things. =\ rich can bring into coffin isit? brag for all i care not like i beggar care about ur money or what lehs.. got so much money bring and throw and me la i help u burn next time can still use..
further more. are u trying to show off what you hafe gotten from me that i dont want to give you? u think u can use it as ur ringtone i will feel angry? sorry lor i dun waste my energy on this kinda of pig!
2 days ago i was uploading some tones to my fone and this GUY happen to pass by and heard me sending them to 2 of my frens. he wanted but i didnt reply..
1st: i am not that close to you.
2nd: since i am nt close y shd i send to you? dont act good friend can!
and after that i was away to make some call.. u actually snatched the fone from my fren and sent the tones to yourself even when others tell you not to open it cos of their personal items.. *FUCK!*
why do when others already tell you dont? and guess wat? after that he even say my fren.. "you very selfish leh we should share" goodness sake... pls lor still got the cheek to say this after u did such a thing! who wants to share with you? nobody say want k.. and u actually stole it yourself.. bu wen zi qu jiu shi tou! didnt know educated and RICH people will still do such things. =\ rich can bring into coffin isit? brag for all i care not like i beggar care about ur money or what lehs.. got so much money bring and throw and me la i help u burn next time can still use..
further more. are u trying to show off what you hafe gotten from me that i dont want to give you? u think u can use it as ur ringtone i will feel angry? sorry lor i dun waste my energy on this kinda of pig!
Monday, November 07, 2005
recently i have been toking to angion quite alot of things.. i remembered i told her, friends are actualli like lover.. when ur lover leave you.. hurt you.. u feel sad and pain.. and so is it when ur friends do it to you! rite? in fact more hurt.. following is a lyrics i find v meaningful and it converys wad i want to say..
江美琪 - 朋友的朋友
词:姚谦 曲:何庆远
朋友的朋友
我们最后的定位
疏离的让自己
都好想流泪
朋友的朋友
我们最后的关连
隐藏好的伤悲
不想被你感觉
听见你名字
还有心跳的感觉
朋友不知情所以才没发现
经过多少年
伤痕才会看不见
寂寞的尊严也传到你那边
有时候以为
我能微笑去面对
有时心酸到
呼吸都听见
人总会难免
把回忆跟现实敷衍
因为人生对自己残忍了一点
*if u cant see pls encode it to unicode.. thnx..*
江美琪 - 朋友的朋友
词:姚谦 曲:何庆远
朋友的朋友
我们最后的定位
疏离的让自己
都好想流泪
朋友的朋友
我们最后的关连
隐藏好的伤悲
不想被你感觉
听见你名字
还有心跳的感觉
朋友不知情所以才没发现
经过多少年
伤痕才会看不见
寂寞的尊严也传到你那边
有时候以为
我能微笑去面对
有时心酸到
呼吸都听见
人总会难免
把回忆跟现实敷衍
因为人生对自己残忍了一点
*if u cant see pls encode it to unicode.. thnx..*
Friday, November 04, 2005
woo.. many days no blogg liao.. this week is a shaort week.. cos got two holiday.. at first today no want come sch de lo but then at home oso sian.. might as well come here tok tok.. play play..
tues went out wif angi and herry to chill lo.. ter at first coming too de but then got sth happen so din come.. so the three of us shop shop ard ps before we have our lunch and then after to esplanade to chill out..sit ard and took loads of fotos.. relaxing..
then yest went to grandma house... have to accompany ah ma play mahjong due to a short of khakis.. actualli its quite sian cos the tiles keep dun coming.. in the end i lose 7 bucks..
here's my horo for today.. seems interesting.. :
You could be in a position to offer someone forgiveness, Kelvin kho. Maybe someone in your personal life has acted selfishly, and the result was not exactly to your benefit. And although you can see the situation from the other person's point of view, the pain caused to you has been getting in the way of a reconciliation. But today suddenly all of this seems less important, and you no longer feel threatened. You realize that you can afford to be generous and to extend a trusting, compassionate energy.
tues went out wif angi and herry to chill lo.. ter at first coming too de but then got sth happen so din come.. so the three of us shop shop ard ps before we have our lunch and then after to esplanade to chill out..sit ard and took loads of fotos.. relaxing..
then yest went to grandma house... have to accompany ah ma play mahjong due to a short of khakis.. actualli its quite sian cos the tiles keep dun coming.. in the end i lose 7 bucks..
here's my horo for today.. seems interesting.. :
You could be in a position to offer someone forgiveness, Kelvin kho. Maybe someone in your personal life has acted selfishly, and the result was not exactly to your benefit. And although you can see the situation from the other person's point of view, the pain caused to you has been getting in the way of a reconciliation. But today suddenly all of this seems less important, and you no longer feel threatened. You realize that you can afford to be generous and to extend a trusting, compassionate energy.
Monday, October 31, 2005
the same old question is back again...
again i asked myself whether i have personality problems.. so much so that i cant mix ard with pple normally.. people cant get me involved in their activities.. i cant break into their cliques.. i can say i let go all these liao.. dun really feel angry or wad.. but who wun be sad? i mean a tiny little bit is for sure la.. imagine the whole group pple go out but i am not called to go.. but its realli ok.. like i say.. the society is very realistic and cruel one.. anyway nowadays i can handle these problems more better liao.. so dun worry shan and herry!~
today is the second day i am on time... in this 11 days... hhaha.. and rena wore her sec school uniform here! she said its halloween... haha crazy gal... but its fun to have this kinda activities la.. she is wearing malay costume on wed.. so enthu hor haha.. for me is too sian no one company.. otherwise i wud do so too...
again i asked myself whether i have personality problems.. so much so that i cant mix ard with pple normally.. people cant get me involved in their activities.. i cant break into their cliques.. i can say i let go all these liao.. dun really feel angry or wad.. but who wun be sad? i mean a tiny little bit is for sure la.. imagine the whole group pple go out but i am not called to go.. but its realli ok.. like i say.. the society is very realistic and cruel one.. anyway nowadays i can handle these problems more better liao.. so dun worry shan and herry!~
today is the second day i am on time... in this 11 days... hhaha.. and rena wore her sec school uniform here! she said its halloween... haha crazy gal... but its fun to have this kinda activities la.. she is wearing malay costume on wed.. so enthu hor haha.. for me is too sian no one company.. otherwise i wud do so too...
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Oh my gosh~!!
I happen to browse thru zaobao.com and i saw this taiwan article that reveals the real face of Ocean Ou!!!
He is fat! and like ser ser said.. married with 2 kids..
total not the way i tot he wud b luking like... i tot at least not handsome also quite young.. but anyway i will still support him la.. his voice good...
If u r curious u might want to go here -> http://stars.zaobao.com/pages2/ocean051014.html
I happen to browse thru zaobao.com and i saw this taiwan article that reveals the real face of Ocean Ou!!!
He is fat! and like ser ser said.. married with 2 kids..
total not the way i tot he wud b luking like... i tot at least not handsome also quite young.. but anyway i will still support him la.. his voice good...
If u r curious u might want to go here -> http://stars.zaobao.com/pages2/ocean051014.html
Monday, October 24, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
Fun personality test! courtesy of http://haleonline.com/psychtest/ from amanda's blog..
You're an ISFP
ISFP
You're gentle and compassionate...open and flexible...considerate of others and do not for views and opinions on them. Often focus on meeting others needs...pleasant, quiet and kind....at their best ensuring others well-being. Caring and sensitive....modest and reserved..
OK...you enjoy subjects that relate to helping and knowing about people... art ... computers and history classes if these classes are taught with an applied, sensible approach.. and if objectives relate directly to everyday lives....
You're somewhat artistic, aren't you? You could probably post a great poem on the Storm Palace, huh? You dislike structure, because it takes away from your spontaneity and freedom. You like leisure, and seek it out. You savor it...probably say "stop and smell the roses"...You have a personal and humorous approach that is unique...
Patient and flexible..easy to get along with and no need to dominate others. You don't need to lead, and are a loyal follower...good team members... You're trusting and understanding...
Love to you is utter devotion and loyalty... when you first fall in love, you may feel consumed by it...."falling in love with love" ...focus on the romance of it all..you are constantly nourishing the relationship... When scorned, you probably retreat and repeatedly analyze the situation internally....When you let go finally, you can be more assertive again...
You organize things according to their personal and humanistic values. You like a work setting that contains cooperative people... leadership style involves personal loyalty as a means of motivating others... prefer team approach...likes to enjoy life...
Be careful of the following: you can lose out when you neglect your own needs. because you see others' needs so clearly, and because you're heavily motivated toward meeting others' needs, you may overlook your own requirements. You need to learn how to respect own needs more and to be assertive and direct with others in asking for their help and for time to take care of themselves.
You also lose out when you are afraid of conflict and mismanage it as a result. You take personal responsibility for conflicts and issues that in actuality belong to others. You become hurt and withdraw. Finally, you can lose out when you become self-critical, and do not appreciate your own accomplishments.
ISFP: "I Seek Fun & Pleasure"
You're an ISFP
ISFP
You're gentle and compassionate...open and flexible...considerate of others and do not for views and opinions on them. Often focus on meeting others needs...pleasant, quiet and kind....at their best ensuring others well-being. Caring and sensitive....modest and reserved..
OK...you enjoy subjects that relate to helping and knowing about people... art ... computers and history classes if these classes are taught with an applied, sensible approach.. and if objectives relate directly to everyday lives....
You're somewhat artistic, aren't you? You could probably post a great poem on the Storm Palace, huh? You dislike structure, because it takes away from your spontaneity and freedom. You like leisure, and seek it out. You savor it...probably say "stop and smell the roses"...You have a personal and humorous approach that is unique...
Patient and flexible..easy to get along with and no need to dominate others. You don't need to lead, and are a loyal follower...good team members... You're trusting and understanding...
Love to you is utter devotion and loyalty... when you first fall in love, you may feel consumed by it...."falling in love with love" ...focus on the romance of it all..you are constantly nourishing the relationship... When scorned, you probably retreat and repeatedly analyze the situation internally....When you let go finally, you can be more assertive again...
You organize things according to their personal and humanistic values. You like a work setting that contains cooperative people... leadership style involves personal loyalty as a means of motivating others... prefer team approach...likes to enjoy life...
Be careful of the following: you can lose out when you neglect your own needs. because you see others' needs so clearly, and because you're heavily motivated toward meeting others' needs, you may overlook your own requirements. You need to learn how to respect own needs more and to be assertive and direct with others in asking for their help and for time to take care of themselves.
You also lose out when you are afraid of conflict and mismanage it as a result. You take personal responsibility for conflicts and issues that in actuality belong to others. You become hurt and withdraw. Finally, you can lose out when you become self-critical, and do not appreciate your own accomplishments.
ISFP: "I Seek Fun & Pleasure"
one week into tep! has been surviving very well.. except the client project has left us quite unsure to do alot of things cos its the first time we are invoved in such things.. has been calling clients.. faxing letters to them..
also made some friends.. its pretty fun up here.. very different from classical lessons we have.. althou we "eat snake" alot.. haha
out of this 5 days.. wed is the only day i am ontime.. 10 mins early.. others all late.. sigh.. must improve this problem sia..
also made some friends.. its pretty fun up here.. very different from classical lessons we have.. althou we "eat snake" alot.. haha
out of this 5 days.. wed is the only day i am ontime.. 10 mins early.. others all late.. sigh.. must improve this problem sia..
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
First day of a new term!!
now i am in the ardc room.. we just completed part of the assignment given to us. its pretty fun over here.. making new friends and sorts. its so sian! this morning the teacher is like talking and talking ntil i fall asleep.. then realli like lijuan say lidat lor slack slack slack..
anw, went over to visit terence at cheers too.. well all i can say is cheer up buddy.. u will get used to it.. hahaha..
now i am in the ardc room.. we just completed part of the assignment given to us. its pretty fun over here.. making new friends and sorts. its so sian! this morning the teacher is like talking and talking ntil i fall asleep.. then realli like lijuan say lidat lor slack slack slack..
anw, went over to visit terence at cheers too.. well all i can say is cheer up buddy.. u will get used to it.. hahaha..
Friday, October 14, 2005
ok.. this week quite ok la.. mon went to jb with ser ser, mingsiang, weihao, kang an and junxiong. bought some things and caught a movie "sky high". comedy like fantastic 4 and i dun think its shown in singapore yet. overall quite fun, but after that there is some arguements with my father, which developed into a major dispute last night.
wed there is the tep orientation. super bored and bo liao.
hope sch starts soon.. so that i can be more bz and there will be less nonsense in my life..
*why must my life be so shitty!
wed there is the tep orientation. super bored and bo liao.
hope sch starts soon.. so that i can be more bz and there will be less nonsense in my life..
*why must my life be so shitty!
"it's strange how often things turn out for the best even when you think that nothing could make it right. sometimes it's not a matter of whether you can or cannot fix a situation. cuz very often you can't. in those times, it's just learning how to work around the problem."
super inspiring quote from bong's blog.. here to share..
super inspiring quote from bong's blog.. here to share..
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
home from the tep orientation.
not much emotions. sad to noe i cant go events cos i am quite interested in that..
saw someone. we were suppose to be best friends. but now i din even talk much to him. din even talk directly to him. i dun feel sad; angry; happy. no emotions at all. may be thats what some pple say when ur heart is already dead. all u feel is just meer someone you noe. so many things has happened in this short time frame of abt 1 and 1/2 yrs we have known each other.. and alot if things is always accumulated one.. whether is it anger, happiness.. maybe that time will be the last time u wud say i like to put words into ur mouth.
but i will still like to thank you for the happy memories.
maybe one day we can be good friends back.. i don't know.. like i say maybe..
not much emotions. sad to noe i cant go events cos i am quite interested in that..
saw someone. we were suppose to be best friends. but now i din even talk much to him. din even talk directly to him. i dun feel sad; angry; happy. no emotions at all. may be thats what some pple say when ur heart is already dead. all u feel is just meer someone you noe. so many things has happened in this short time frame of abt 1 and 1/2 yrs we have known each other.. and alot if things is always accumulated one.. whether is it anger, happiness.. maybe that time will be the last time u wud say i like to put words into ur mouth.
but i will still like to thank you for the happy memories.
maybe one day we can be good friends back.. i don't know.. like i say maybe..
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Saturday, October 08, 2005
so long liao! my com spoil so long liao so blogged less.. haha..
just spent 3 days without my hp cos i sent it for servicing.. so uncomfortable lol.. aniwae, a few days ago i went out with gary.. went to watch shen hua, which is a marvelous show thou i dun like the ending.. haha.. after that we went shopping ard before going to cartel for dinner.. yummy..
well.. school going to start soon.. i am so happy i can go back to sch from nex week onwards le.. this holiday alot of thing happened.. but now i dun want to tok about it anymore.. i duno if later i say liao pple might say i put words and things into their mouth.. wads the use? sometimes i feel when u want to say others.. pls c urself first.. if u want to say those things about me, its ok with me now le.. its not that i am petty, but i just dun want to put up a fake face in my life anymore.. its very tong ku..
just spent 3 days without my hp cos i sent it for servicing.. so uncomfortable lol.. aniwae, a few days ago i went out with gary.. went to watch shen hua, which is a marvelous show thou i dun like the ending.. haha.. after that we went shopping ard before going to cartel for dinner.. yummy..
well.. school going to start soon.. i am so happy i can go back to sch from nex week onwards le.. this holiday alot of thing happened.. but now i dun want to tok about it anymore.. i duno if later i say liao pple might say i put words and things into their mouth.. wads the use? sometimes i feel when u want to say others.. pls c urself first.. if u want to say those things about me, its ok with me now le.. its not that i am petty, but i just dun want to put up a fake face in my life anymore.. its very tong ku..
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Friday, September 16, 2005
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